OT- Breaking a bad habit and want support!

Here is a copy of a blog I wrote for my friends:

Ok Friends.  Here is the deal.  I have a bad habit.  It is gross.  I warn you.  I like to pick at my scalp.  I have been doing it since college so I have probably been doing it at least 5 years now, maybe more.  When I am stressed I pick.  When I am bored, I pick.  Anxious, nervous, pick.  Typically I have one or two "spots" that I am working on.  Here is the gross part, they bleed, they scab, and that just makes it that more fulfilling to pick it off the next time I am anxious.  And maybe a little skin around it.  I never realized how incredibly disgusting it is until I wrote it down.  I part my hair so no one can see the mark.  My hair dresser usual just calls it a "boo boo."  A boo boo that has never exactly healed.  But I do eventually let it heal and create a new one.  Usually there is already some dry skin there or something to get me started.

So, ok, I've known I have had this problem for a long time.  My husband has always encouraged me to stop and I never have.  I say I will, but I don't.  Nor have I made any major effort to stop.  In undergrad at my moms suggestion I started writing "i will not pick my head" on a sheet of paper every time I got caught.  It just pissed me off.

So, as a side effect of one of my crohns meds my hair has been thinning out.  And I know that the picking does not help and that I lose hair in that area.  So, if I want my hair to stop falling out, I am going to start treating my scalp better.

Today I committed to NO PICKING.  Only once did I catch myself touching a scab and I caught it before I picked it.  I was driving and it was so hard not to.  I dug my nails into my steering wheel.  I realized I needed repetition.  So I started saying the "our father" "hail mary" and "glory be" over and over and over on my commute until the urge to pick passed.  It can't hurt to get some divine intervention on breaking this habit.

It could be my lenten sacrifice although its been so long since I have been to church I don't think I can call it that.  But, in keeping with any good 12 step program I have admitted my problem.  I have hit bottom and am grossed out by it and truly want to stop.  I am asking God to help me break my gross habit.  And I am asking my friends to follow my progress.  I think I have done it for so long because I can cover it up and no one has to know how gross it really is.  Unless they are 6'5" and look down on the top of my head (which my husband is). 

So I have gone one day, about 14 hours awake so far, without picking.  And to be honest, that is the longest I have gone in years.  I considered cutting my fingernails short to aid in my crusade but then how will I pick my nose? Just kidding!!!

So if you are not too grossed out, stay tuned for updates!!!

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Just edited out someone's name as you all wouldn't know who it was anyway lol.

I have my fair share of compulsive disorders like many others so you are definitely not alone in this. I think a lot of people have unique quirks that they wouldn't want to admit too in a public forum. Anyhow, like any addiction, I dont think there is a single fix that can be applied across the board for any one person. However, what helps me with my quirks is to continue to have a positive outlook and visualize myself in a higher light if you will and continually reinforce the desired outcome in my mind. It seems the issue ties back to your self-esteem, where picking causes you to lose some and not picking will cause you to gain some. You have to have continual awareness of the matter and not get caught up in the angst of the moment. Practice breathing deeply when the desire occurs and breathe your way through it. You have to continue to visualize yourself scab-free if you will and the positive outlook and positive energy that will come your way through regaining your sense of self-control. Don't be disappointed and become frustrated if you can't stop right away, just continue to reinforce what you want and visualize your desired outcome. In time through keeping your awareness in the present and regaining your sense of control you will overcome your syndrome. I have some minor skin issues as well so although I talk the talk I am right there with you at the moment. But I keep trying and that is all we can do !! 

not to make light of your problem, but have you tried picking your butt? then at least you will only do it in private which would cut down signifcantly on the amount of picks. plus if you got caught in public, you would die of embarrassment and solve your problem. ;0) .... hope you can stick to your goal!!!

Picking at oneself is common, and is a compulsive anxiety reaction. Any and all relaxation techniques may help such as deep breathing, yoga, meditation, etc. You may need antidepressant or anti-anxiety meds to help you stop. I agree with Habshockeyfan- please do not feel this has anything to do with your will power or character. We deal with a very difficult disease and we all react to stress in different ways. The "Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" by Bourne is a great self-help book full of relaxation techniques and ideas. If you are struggling with other issues, therapy may help as well. Good luck and let us know how you are doing

Isn't the key to this, addressing the underlying physical problem associated with the dry skin, sebbhorea associated with it? Have you ever been assessed for rosacea? psorrias? eczema etc? Maybe you could start by using a really good scalp treatment product -- one that is designed to treat these problems associated with fungus or an over-production of skin tissue.

I think you are being way too hard on yourself Fitzy! I think you have a skin condition that causes scalp problems and those problems lead to the picking, itching etc. It's normal to pick at a scab. What's not normal is the scab. I had problems on my scalp most of my growing up years and certainly as a young adult. I would pick at it too and sores would develop, evolve and then migrate to a new spot over time. It wasn't until I developed a rash on my face and had a thorough dermatological assessment that I found out I had roasacea and that the scalp and the face conditions were linked. (Talk about embarrassed when the guy looked in my hair! This after telling him during his history that I didn't have any problems with my scalp. He was disgusted by what he saw. Who knew?

Anyway, I started using a zinc based soap three times a week on my scalp -- along with all the other crap for my face. and within six weeks I wasn't itching anymore and within six months my skin and scalp were clear. Now I know if I start picking at my scalp it's time to bring out the scalp treatments before it reaches the point where I have bleeding oozing scabs.

Just my take, but, before you label yourself obsessive compulsive, get assessed and/or start appropriate treatment. If the need to pick continues even in the absence of symptoms, then look at behavior modification and counselling, but make sure you know what you're dealing with first.

I do the same thing...will pick at scabs on arms, neck, wherever. My daughter informed me that this is an anxiety disorder. Seems she did a paper on people, especially women, who cut themselves and this is in the same family of disorders.

I have taken to wearing long sleeves, etc.,  so that I can't get at my skin. Maybe you could wear hats;)

I honestly will do the same thing! If I feel a scab on my scalp, I pick, pick, pick until it finally goes away. This is probably REALLY GROSS, but if I get a pimple in my ear, I do the same thing!

I DO have an anxiety disorder--my internist gave me something for it and said anxiety could make my possible Crohn's worse if I don't learn how to relax.

Best of luck with this, and if you find an easy way to quit, let me in on it so I will stop doing my picking!

Post Edited (indigosunrise) : 2/13/2008 1:08:13 PM (GMT-7)

Picking at your hair or scalp is a genuine illness and their are medications and behavioral therapy thay help people enourmously with this I would call a mental health center and ask who you should see.

More power to you Fitzky, hang in there, it'll continue to get easier.

:)

That is soooo gross just stop it.

Sugarmarie, please be more respectful towards other members and watch your manners.

Hi Fitzy,

I also used to pick at my scalp nonstop,until last spring that is.You see,I got an infection on my scalp from picking at it so much,I just had to force myself to stop.Like other bad habits,it wasn't easy to break.

Ocassionally I still catch myself w/ my fingernails on my scalp,but I tell myself "don't do it!",and I am able to stop.I have come to realize that this was something that I did to soothe my nerves.

I wish you great success.....You can do this!!!!


p.s. I nearly peed when I read your post, I thought that I was the only one...hehe

I didn't ever think of this as an anxiety disorder, but I do the same thing. I know I do it more when nervous. I've stopped before because I recognize it's not good for my skin. But, it's completely unconsious. My hands just go there. I know how hard it is, but if you're committed, you know you can do it! Good job on grabbing the steering wheel. I used to play with my hair but it's too short so I guess I replace it with the picking. I never realized others would have the same habit!

Good luck! And, hair loss is very motivating. You've given me thought as I have lost half my hair too, thanks to steroids...