Gasp. Choke. THANK YOU for giving me the best laugh I have had in ages! I have to share this story:
My hubby and I went back to his small home town in the back woods of Maine to visit family & friends and for his high school reunion. One of his best friends whilst growing up and we spent quite a bit of time together and then all of a sudden "Frankie" disappeared.
No one saw him for 3 days. Our last day before leaving we stopped at his parent's home and just before we were ready to leave "Frankie" showed up. Of course we all had to ask where he'd been, gave him a rough time about
having gone on a "bender", etc. and he said NO, he'd had some bad hemorrhoids start acting up and his *&#^% father told him to put some Vicks on them.
Now whether his dad REALLY told him to put Vicks on them or whether he said Vaseline and "Frankie" mixed the two up we will never know 'cause on accountta his dad was admitting to nothing whilst choking up and doubling over w/laughter so bad as were we all. "Frankie's" hemmorrhoids were the highlight of our two week trip!!!!
To this day, no one can mention hemorrhoids around ANY of us who were there w/o our breaking out into a choking, doubling over laughter. And no one EVER lets "Frankie" live that episode down!
By now, I"m sure you've figured out that hemorrhoids and Vicks are NOT really on friendly or compatible terms! And I assure you, were "Frankie" here, he would advise you against it ... unless he knew you fairly well ... he's not above pulling a prank like that on someone else if he can sucker them into it.
Those tough old Maine-iac backwoodsmen have a wicked sense of humor!!!