Insensitivity toward under-weight people

Does anyone else experience a kind of social awkwardness around being so under-weight? People are very quick to talk about how skinny I am and make jokes about me watching my weight; even people who know I have Crohn's. I find it strange that people aren't very sensitive about being under-weight, but most people don't make light of overweight people's struggle. Just wondering if that is an issue for others.

mark

Oh I do not know about that whole fat joke thing. It is not that unheard of for person to be a fat crohnie and people do not respond well to mockery. I would say I would be more then happy to give you my disease so you can be skinny, and I can be healthy.

I would love to eat a cheeseburger, but why contribute to my pain and explosive d, not to mention a chance of a heart attack.

I hear the " Jeez I wish I could be as small as you all the time ........" and It does bother me .......
But like Navy I am not about to eat a cheeseburger and be in pain nd on potty to try and gain weight.......

It is a no win situation IMHO.....

In all honesty I would love to say oh NO you dont my knees hurt from bone on bone and bum gets sore just laying in bed so do the " no hips".......As for breasts what breasts .......LOL

I was overweight before I got sick, and have lost over 20 pounds since last fall. Now all I hear is how fantastic I look, or what is my dieting secret? I know people are just trying to be nice, so a sarcastic comeback seems inappropriate. But it is so hard to feel worse than I ever have in my life, and getting compliments all at the same time!!!

Mark - I've been dealing with that insensitivity my whole life! I didn't lose weight from UC, but I've been thin my whole life and people automatically assume I must have an eating disorder even though this is my normal, healthy weight. Yeah, I get the whole "eat a cheeseburger" line all the time, too. And, yeah, it would be considered blasphemy to tell a fat joke, but it's somehow okay to make fun of thin people...

I dealt with this just a couple days ago at work. i headed over to another office for a meeting and I brought my lunch with me. I asked the woman I met if it would be OK if I ate in the time before the meeting started, she said yes, that was fine, and then went on to babble about how I needed to really eat more, does anyone ever tell you that you need to eat more? Are you sure you have enough to eat? you are so skinny! are you eating enough...Do you have high metabolism? I really think you should eat more! why are you so skinny...I told her, well, actually, I have Crohn's disease...that shut her up right away...but much to her dismay, I continued...It's a chronic illness, immune system disorder that affects the digestive system...oh, hi, oh, I'd like you to meet, she says...I continue, one of the problems it causes is that I don't absorb all the nutrients and minerals I need from the food I eat...that's why I'm so skinny...she obviously didn't want to talk about it anymore, so I let it go there...I just thought it was funny...here she was incessantly asking me questions, then when I start to answer, all of a sudden for some reason she's uncomfortable and doesn't want to hear about it!

I think those people who make comments about us Crohnies who are underweight who DO NOT know about our disease need to be given a break. I've definitely been in situations before where someone has made comments about how much weight I've dropped but they didn't have a clue about my illness. Most people have never even heard of Crohn's Disease and can't even comprehend the complexity of it. But when I was first Dx, I was really defensive if someone commented on how skinny I'd gotten or told me I needed to eat more - although I never shared with them my CD struggle. I just got irritated with them. I think you have to give uneducated people a break from that standpoint.

However, I think for those people who make comments about our weight who DO, in fact, know about our disease need to have their smart-alleck, ill-prepared comments about our weight thrown back at them! If you've told a friend/co-worker about your illness and they haven't BOTHERED to ask or do a small amount of research about the disease for their own understanding, then they are pathetic. I've had several weight comments over the years from people who know I have the illness. I simply say, "Yeah, well I'll be happy to trade my sick, skinny body for your healthy, overweight one." That usually makes them realize what a stupid comment they've just said.

I didn't tell many people at all about my CD in the beginning. 4 years later, though, I'm becoming more comfortable mentioning it to some people, in hopes of disuading those annoying weight comments.

I've also gained weight during my Crohn's after I went into remission for a while. It's works the same way as it would with someone with anorexia. If you starve your body, it begins to feed off of fat. With Crohn's that's technically what happens. Our body begins to starve either from us not eating or not eating enough because of our STUPID bowels OR due to the fact that our body doesn't absorb the nutrients our body needs to survive. So when we go into remission and we start to feel better and eat more, our body is STILL used to the starving. So our body stores more fat JUST IN CASE we start to starve again, it'll have something to feed off of. And that's the reason for the weight gain. Even my own mother made comments about my weight gain! Here's me: "MOM! Come on! My body NEEDS this weight! It's been starving for years!"

Dear all,

Thank you so much for your comments, stories, and empathetic rants. It always helps to hear how others have handled a situation. KittiKatt, I too have become much more open in recent years with people about my condition in hopes of educating people and avoiding these uncomfortable situations. I find it helps. Anyway, thanks again.

I've heard this all my life. I've given up on people being tactful about the subject. I'm a bag of bones and I am fully aware of the fact that I look horrible. What does not help is having stupid people point it out to me. I don't even bother to explain it anymore. I've never told an overweight person how FAT they are, but there seems to be no problem with them telling me that I should eat more and fatten up.

I have also been asked if I was anorexic ......and I am not .....I do not gain weight plain and simple and I do feel for those that cannot lose no matter what they do .......

If I am stressed out and in a breakout of the pyoderma I will go 2 or 3 days w/o eating I just cannot get food into me with those big ulcerlike weeping pus and goo sores all over ..........I do drink plenty of fluids and take vitamins along with Potassium

Great thread IMHO

LYN

B4 I was D"d, my PCP tried to treat me for a eating disorder, due to my abnormal bloodwork and weight. I always tell people I eat when I feel like it. Kay

Its worse when its family, my family thought i was anorexic (my mom always came to my rescue) but as i got older i realized she wouldnt always be able to fight my battles for me. that i could either stand up for myself or pass it off as stupid and let it ride. Sometimes its a hard decision to make. My grandmother would claim im so skinny, and call all of my other cousins fat. Most of the women in my family are bigger boned but carry it well. It took me years to realize that she'd been so put down in her younger years taht she really just didnt know how to start a normal conversation. and thats the case with most people, sometimes they try to cover their own insecurities.

Since the surgery ( i went in at 103, and now am 120) i've been happy to gain weight, and not ashamed to say it. So now, my grandmother says "well dont gain to much" and i told her "well grandma, when u've been in my position and have not been able to eat, you thank God for every piece of food that you can put in your mouth" I'll never kill myself dieting, or deprive myself for vain reasons. NO ONE has to live in my body but me...so they can all shut their pie holes! lol