HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Can someone tell me how to deal with anxiety?

Support Forums
>
Crohn's Disease
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 3/17/2008 11:53 AM (GMT 0)
 

Hi, I have never posted to any forums before, but have reached "the end of my rope" so to speak.  A little history, will try to keep it short.  Diagnosed with UC at 12 years old (am 48 now). Many flares through the years, after my son was born in 1994 I got really sick.  Went from Dr. to Dr. never getting anywhere.  One Dr told me I had IBS, and for 2 years I suffered and never got any better.  Finally insisted on seeing a specialist who immediately diagnosed me with fistulizing crohn's.  yippee!!!!  I had a foot of my small intestine removed in 1998, including my terminal illieum.  Since then I have had constant D and throughout the whole ordeal I have had several accidents while out in puiblic.  Well, I have reached a point that going out stresses me out so much I feel like crying and get very anxious!  I'm tired of this disease!  There isn't an end to it and I am tired of being sick.  I used to be a fun, relaxed person, but since my son was born I have slowly become an emotional mess!  Sorry this is so long, just what to know if anyone has any suggestions!  Thank you!

Posted 3/17/2008 12:16 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time.  I take Klonipin for anxiety.  It is not a wonder drug, but does help take the edge off.  I wonder if that may help you.  Also, maybe some cognitive therapy or stress reduction techniques would help.  Good luck!

Posted 3/17/2008 1:12 PM (GMT 0)
I take Xanax and for me it works really well. I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time. Please keep posting here, there are alot of great and supportive people here, many suffering the same as you. Come here and vent all you like, we all understand what you are going thru.

God Bless,
Gail *Nanners*
Posted 3/17/2008 1:41 PM (GMT 0)
I agree with naaners
I am on Valium and I am also doing self help techniques
LIKE you I am with constant D all the time ......I would love to have a formed stool believe me
I have had accidents when I have been sick as well and my teen has cleaned me up and or held the garbge pail while I was vomitting and going potty at same time in a severe flare........
There is IMHO always some anxiety associtaed with any chronic illness and it seems like you have gone thru alot as it is ...........
Please check out anxiety board as well as come here and vent ...
let us know how you make out
I would ask Doc for something .....not many give valium now though more give the med Nanners is on ......
Be well
WE do care......
Stay with us
LYN
Posted 3/17/2008 2:12 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone!  Guess I neglected to say I do take Xanax; my doctor will give me 30 at a time.  I also am taking Zoloft & seeing a therapist.  (I just started seeing her in the last month).  I really hate to whine; because right now I'm told I am in "remission" and I have been at the point that Howlyncat has been.  I have never had anyone to vent to that really understands and am grateful to have found this site (my therapist recommened I look on the net for something like this).  Guess my greatest fear is getting that sick again!  I never want to go there again!  For some reason, lately I just can't seem to get a grip on my emotions!  Sounds so dumb, but that's how it is.  I don't know why, but it just seemed to catch up with me in the last year or so.  Thanks for listening and am looking forward to the support from all of you.

Posted 3/17/2008 2:16 PM (GMT 0)
As for the anxiety about going out in public and fearing an accident, we've pretty much all had that at one time or another. One safety measure is to opt for the Depends route . . . may still have the accident, but no one will be able to detect it before you can get home and clean up.

Posted 3/17/2008 5:39 PM (GMT 0)

homeschoolmom, please don't feel like you are a wimp.  Because you aren't, you are living with a chronic and incurable disease that has some ugly side effects.  I myself have lived with Crohns for over 32 years and just a couple of months ago started having alot of anxiety myself.  Started on the Xanax and started seeing a therapist this past month too.  Give it some time things will get better.  And definetly keep talking to us, I would be lost without the support I get on this board.

God Bless,

Gail *Nanners*

Posted 3/17/2008 6:23 PM (GMT 0)
Please know you are not alone. This is very common and a real concern especially with IBD. I would suggest thinking about going to see someone who deals with medical issues in therapy to help with this concern.
Posted 3/17/2008 6:34 PM (GMT 0)
two words KLONOPIN & XANAX
Posted 3/17/2008 6:55 PM (GMT 0)
homeschoolmom

Anyone that can deal with Crohn's and anxiety and depression is not a whimp so please lose that word.  You are doing the best you can but give the med time to work, sometimes 6-8 weeks for med to kick in and also work with your therapist.
Coming here and talking about this as well as sharing it with others is the best thing to do.  Let us help you.
Hugs
Kitt

Posted 3/17/2008 10:10 PM (GMT 0)
What is Klonopin?  Thanks to everyone for reading my post!  I guess I've been dealing with this for 36 years and I am tired.  I am really glad I found this site, it is nice to have people who really understand.  Is anyone concerned about becoming dependent on Xanax?  That seems to be my PC's concern, so I don't take it very often, only when I am really bad.  Any opions on that?

Posted 3/17/2008 10:22 PM (GMT 0)
hi homeschoolmom
we are here for venting, and don't hesitate to do so. This disease is difficult to deal with, and I hope the new rx and therapy give u some relief
Posted 3/17/2008 10:23 PM (GMT 0)
Cognitive behavioral therapy. Xanax for short term immediate relief, it is something that will cause dependency and getting off of it is not fun- and something like buspar everyday to even things out (Zoloft may do the same thing for you but not for everyone so give it long enough to help-6 weeks then if no improvement talk to the doc about other options)
Posted 3/17/2008 11:42 PM (GMT 0)
Hang in there Moms! Don't apologize. You have been through more than most people can say for a lifetime.

Drugs are okay, but talking to someone is the best thing you can do for anxiety. We are anxious for a reason. For me it is my disease, but more than that it is how my disease affects my daily activities. I go to see a psychologist when I'm feeling like I'm going to explode. I also have some some breathing techniques that I practice (mostly visualization in coordination with controlled breathing-email me if you want more details). Acupuncture has also been a great help.
Oh, and keep coming here. I just found this site and it has been a god-send. Welcome fellow newbie!

Anyway, stay strong. I'm going on 15 years with the disease (Dx at 13- you beat me by one year!). It's good to know I could still be fighting the good fight at 48.

Much love,

Mark
Posted 3/18/2008 12:21 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Mark.  You are right, that's exactly what it is for me, could not figure that out!!!  The disease affects every part of my life, and that probably is why I'm having this mini-meltdown lately.  Just get tired of it.  Sorry to here you have had this disease since 13 years old, not exactly the normal childhood memories!  Part of it has to do with my 13 year old son.  He sees what I go through every day and several times a day he asks "are you feeling okay mom?"  This is all he has ever known, and it stinks!  This is the first time in my life that I have actually felt this way, I have always been able to accept it and deal with whatever came along, but I have reached the point that I am tired,  I put on my best face, homeschool my son and do what I have the energy for daily.  Like everyone else who has this disease.  Am glad I found this site!
Posted 3/20/2008 8:12 AM (GMT 0)
Homeschoolmom......I have had CD for over 30 years.....anxiety, depression .....all came in due time. My girls and I have been through so much. My husband was abusive, ( we are safe now) and my girls are both incest survivors. Through years of counceling for them, and myself, I've come to realize one thing. Trying to berate yourself for not being better, healthier, smarter, richer, etc etc etc....Is an absolute waste of energy. One psychiatrist said, instead of concentrating your physical, and emotional/mental resources on the positive...you are draining yourself with the negative. So I have been trying very very hard not to let my mind go where it is inclined to go......I have to make a conscious effort to keep it positive. When I find myself getting negative I deliberately do something to distract myself.
With chronic illness, there is sooooo much more to deal with than just the disease itself.... so we have to be kind to ourselves....think of what you would tell a friend who came to you feeling the same way.....you would tell her not to be so hard on herself etc etc.... we have to learn to at least give ourselves the same courtesy and encouragement we would give a friend or even a total stranger. I am glad you have found us....please come to us often. I wouldn't know what to do without the support of these wonderful people. Now there is the first thing to be thankful for ....make a list. I have to do that from time to time to remind myself of how far we've come even with all the daily challenges that we still face.
Love and prayers to you.
Mary
Posted 3/20/2008 11:48 AM (GMT 0)

Thanks Mary,

You are right and I know that.  Somehow over the last year I have arrived at this point.  Since I was 12 years old I have dealt with this DD and have never felt sorry for myself (with the exception of a day here and there).  Part of it may be that I have been having marriage problems.  My husband has become very demanding...he has started to expect more for me than I am able to do.  He is also very critical of my business (I am and Princess House Consultant and do this part-time).  I have been doing this and love getting out with women, he is not happy because I don't make enough money to suit him.  Does not understand that it's not just about the money, it's also about my sanity.  I homeschool our son and didn't work (haha) until he was 12 yrs. old.  I believe alot of my anxiety is coming from the situation at home.  Also, my guts have started that rumbling again and I am terrified of being sick again. 

When the Crohn's was active I would sit on the toliet and be throwing up in a trash can.  The pain was horrible, and the lack of understanding from my husband was even worse.  To this day he doesn't seem to get it.  Gets annoyed when I can't go out and do something with him in the morning.  He is overall a good man, I just think he has a hard time understanding.  He says things like "oh, I forget you can't go out in the morning" or "Your tough, you can handle it" or, my personal favorite "you look so good, I forget you don't feel good".

I do need to make my list of what to be thankful for.  I do need to stop focusing on the negative; and start focusing on what is good in my life.  There is alot to be grateful for, I just have allowed myself to spiral into this negative, anxious person.  I will take your advise and starting today will make that list, and conscious effort to stay positive.

I here stories like yours and realize I am very fortunate!  I am glad you and your girls are out of that horrible situation!  Thanks for your prayers, can always use them!

Love and prayers to you too,

Ang

Posted 3/20/2008 12:56 PM (GMT 0)
homeschoolmom
did the doctors give you anything to help with the D ? They gave me quastran for the D since i had 12 inches of my small intestine removed at the TI. It does help. If they did not give you that i would ask them for it good luck and god bless you it will get better. Barb
Posted 3/20/2008 3:36 PM (GMT 0)
Homeschool mom, I too homeschooled many years ago and that in itself can be overwhelming a huge job. I take Cymbalta. Also, we all have had accidents. I carry a change of clothes in the car and have gotten to the point where I go out and make a day of my trips instead of running around regularly. But we are all only human and can only tolerate so much, so have a good cry and vent, it won't change things but it might release a little stress. You have been through alot. Take care,
Posted 3/20/2008 10:46 PM (GMT 0)
So much of what y'all write rings so true to me. It feels good to know that people are dealing with the same things, and yet I regret that all of us have to endure. Marie-Clarie, my therapist I think put it very well when explaining the following:

Our lives are made up of two circles; the inner one that we can control, and the outer one that we cannot. Focus your attention on the inner circle, and the things in our life that we can hope to affect change in.

This philosophy has been very helpful for me when I find myself in a fit over something that is out of my control. It may affect my life and so it is important not to lose sight of that, but there's no sense in worrying about spilt milk.

HomeSchool-
Our condition is not something that is easily understood, and the intimacy of a relationship really puts you in a situation where you are very dependent on your mate. I Imagine your husband is doing the best us thick headed men know how. Hang in there and thanks for the input.
Posted 3/20/2008 11:48 PM (GMT 0)

Barb, My Gi never mentioned that there was something that could allieviate the D.  Then again I never asked!  I will ask now...thanks so much!

Mark, you are so right, I think I will hire Marie-Claire as my therapist too! :)  You are all right about focusing on the things we can change....although some days that is harder than others.  Guess I just have to focus harder; I sure hope my tired brain can do that :-) .  You are probably also right about my husband, but you would think that by now he would be a little more understanding.  We meet when we were both 20 and I had already been diagnosed with UC 8 years earlier.  He has been through it all with me.  Well, lets put it this way, when he had too, but when he could avoid me he certainly did.  Maybe he's as tired of it as me, but he won't talk about it.  He truely is one of "thick headed men" :-) .

Thanks to all of you for your advice,  I really am grateful to have found this site.  It feels good to have others in the same situation to vent to; it's just too bad there are so many of us going through it.

Ang

Posted 3/21/2008 1:04 AM (GMT 0)
Just tell them quastran and it is packets that you mix in juice or anything and drink it and it helps bulk up the stool. Anyway good luck I hope they give it to you. Barb
Posted 3/21/2008 2:44 AM (GMT 0)
i think people have trouble understanding how bad crohns can be,they arent there wen the doctors are putting tubes dwon your nose coz you've been vomiting so much.My partners mum has crohns and she had a colectomy,and hes not very understanding sometimes,he trys his best like he rang the ambo for me wen i had my partial blockage :) and im teriifed of getting sick again.I even think bout how am i gona cope wen my mum isnt here,which is years away.Try marshmellows to help with the D and stick to really plain foods and drinks for a couple of weeks.I dont really talk bout my crohns wit my partner anymore its just easier that way.anyway goodluck

Posted 3/21/2008 3:21 AM (GMT 0)
homeschoolmom- I too was going to suggest talking to your doctor about taking Questran. I know a lot of the times after surgery like that people have a hard time absorbing bile salts. Which causes D. Also having your gallbladder out can have the same effect with the increase in bile salts. That's what happened to me. I couldn't go anywhere without the fear of having an accident. I've been taking Questran for years now and it completely fixed the problem. I only have D now when I'm in a flare. Might be worth bringing up to your doctor.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply