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Posted 4/26/2008 5:30 AM (GMT 0)
Hi there everyone. I ask all of your forgiveness in advance for venting and getting this off my chest. This has been such an awful day. My daughter and grandaughter who is now 4 1/2 months old were walking along main street today...when they ran into a young man that in the past has just made my poor daughters life a living hell. She refused to go out with him and warned her friends to stay away from him because he was /is such a troubled you man, who's had so many restraining orders, and jail time for harrassement and assaults. He got wind of this and a few years ago started to threaten to kill her etc... we contatcted the police immediately and within a few months he was behind bars. We thought all this was behind us. As I've told you before both my daughters are incest survivors so I gave up family , home , everything to escape that abuse and to keep them safe. This new and recent threat to her safety is really bringing everything back for her...for all of us.

Well today, as she tried to walk past him... he came right up to her face , called her a terrible name....and then proceeded to SPIT IN THE BABY"S FACE, who was asleep in her stroller.. She began to scream and although there were witnesses,, my daughter was so frantic and  upset, trying to calm the baby, she didn't think to ask for their names. I watched the baby a little later on, and her mother and father in law went with her to the police station (dad who was fit to be tied, couldn't get away from work), to lay charges. He will be arrested and charged for assault. They brought the baby to the doctors immediately, who by the way was furious...so were the police.....but he prescribed eye drops to try and ward off any infection. My daughter is so worried that the baby will get HIV or something dreadful.

She is only 18... her partner 23...they are both so upset. I cried all day at the thought that there is no safe place in this world.. That monsters like this get a little slap on the hand and are released back into society to cause more fear and hurt. I'm so sorry to go on about this....but I just can't stop crying. My girls have been through so much....I've done everything to keep them safe.It has taken them years and years of counseling to just begin to feel safe again....now my grandaughter....my beautiful , sweet , happy little baby girl is assaulted in such a way. I usually have the attitude that life is 10%what happens to you and 90% attitude....but I feel  so broken, and worried.My CD is flaring... I have to be strong for my girls. Please keep me and my beautiful daughters and grandaughter in your prayers if your incllined to do so. Thank you for your support. And again forgive me for the long vent.

Posted 4/26/2008 7:33 AM (GMT 0)
Oh my goodness! Marie-Claire, I'm so sorry to hear about this repulsive, hideous incident. The man must have some very serious problems himself. You must be relieved that he was arrested. The question is, what will happen to him then?

When I was doing social work I used to work with offenders like the one you described. Usually extremely heart-wrenching situations, which is no excuse for the behaviors, but prove how complex "rehabilitation" can be. Very sad, from both the victims' and offenders' positions.

Just so you know, HIV cannot be transmitted in this way, so that is one worry to cross off your list. Actually, it's pretty unlikely that anything could be transmitted in that way. I hope that is some consolation.

Your daughter and granddaughter have a strong support in you, as you have in them. Lean on each other, and this burden will ease. I am thinking of all of you.
Posted 4/26/2008 8:28 AM (GMT 0)
sorry MC.....

sarita, not to start and argument but i think you are wrong about your HIV statement. although unlikely, it is possible. any fluids contacting any pathway into the body is dangerous. precisely why emt's and drs and dentist wear face shields. just for this reason.
Posted 4/26/2008 11:27 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you for your beatiful and heartfelt support. It's 4:17am and I can't sleep so I'm back on the computer. I'm glad I checked on my HW family. Yes , I do believe in a God. I know that without His Graces I would never had the courage to leave my abusive husband...but also my only support....my family and friends back home. We were a huge family and always in each others lives....so when I left, I felt like both my arms and my legs had been amputated....plus my heart ached all the time. But God in his infinite wisdom and mercy, sent me soooo much help. Wonderful neighbors , counsellors and friends, that helped all 3 of us humpty dumpties back together again. It was an 17 year struggle to get these 2 beautiful daughters to feel happy and safe again. Now this unfortunate even takes place, and throws us all back to feeling vulnerable and afraid again. But we are very close.....and we are very strong....It'll take us a minute to recharge our batteries, with a little prayer and again, the love and support of wonderful people (including this great family that I have in all of you) and we will overcome.
tsitsodawg....thank you for sharing your story with me. I feel priviledged, and encouraged to know that there are decent men out there. My daughter is lucky to have such a partner...they will soon be married. She is amazing(both my daughters are)...for all that they have been through, they have remained kind, caring , sweet people....with wonderful sense of humors. I know this again will make us all closer and stronger.
I love you all for being such good "listeners" and so supportive and encouraging. God Bless.
tired old Mary
Posted 4/26/2008 12:40 PM (GMT 0)
I can tell that through it all you never let anyone still you joy within. You are a strong women. I to lives away from all frieands and family to give my children a better chance. Although it is hard at times even my 7 year old tells me he is proud of us for taking the chance. Not only are you teaching your daughters to not settle but also to take risks to allow their children a better life later. May God continue to hold you in his hands!!!

Posted 4/26/2008 12:40 PM (GMT 0)
I meant STEAL YOUR JOY!!
Posted 4/26/2008 2:34 PM (GMT 0)
I'm usually a quiet inoffensive person, but Marie-Clair, after reading your post, I felt ready to commit
murder!!

It makes you wonder what that monster is capable of, if he has these kind of actions in public.

I will keep you, your daughter and grand daughter in my thoughts. God Bless...
Posted 4/26/2008 2:40 PM (GMT 0)
(((((((( Marie-Claire + Daughter + Granddaughter ))))))))))))) Prayers for you and your family MC !!! Blessings!
Posted 4/26/2008 3:15 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Mary I felt a little sad to hear about your little sweetie. Hopefully the jerk will find something else to do with himself. For now I wouldn't let the 2 of them go out alone till he is in jail. Hope your CD is kind to you and things will settle down for you all . lol gail
Posted 4/26/2008 3:19 PM (GMT 0)
Randy,

I believe they have found saliva ACTUALLY inhibits the activation of HIV, so she should not worry. Though the incident is thourghly disturbing, the child is in no danger.

Matthew
Posted 4/26/2008 4:54 PM (GMT 0)
Hey MC - here is another (HUG). I wish you the best getting him behind bars. Do you live in the US? Unfortunatly these jerks know just how awful they can be without committing an incarceration offense. Spitting is disgusting and is "assualt with a bodily fluid." It is enough to get a restraining order but not usually enough to get someone locked up. However, if he already had an order or was on probation then it might be enough to go back.

From a medical standpoint - unless his saliva contained blood there is no chance of HIV transmission. Staff got spit on at the jail I worked at and as gross as it is the worst you can usually catch from it is somebodies cold or flu. If they had been fighting and had blood in their mouth when they spit then that is a different story. But, you can rest assured that the little one is 99% safe and that she is so young (and had been sleeping) that she probably had no IDEA what happened. You could say dew fell off a tree.
Posted 4/26/2008 6:39 PM (GMT 0)
I have a cousin whose mantra when faced with life's challenges, is "It's not a perfect world." There is absolutely no arguing with those words, but we try and make the world as perfect as we can for our babies, which is exactly what you have been trying to do for your children and grandchild I was very touched by your story and tsitodawg's. I'm sending my heartfelt prayers and hugs out into the universe for you.
Posted 4/27/2008 12:17 AM (GMT 0)
first, jeez you guys made me cry! and second, -wow-. talk about a LOW LIFE SCUMBAG. i have never even heard of such a thing, i am truly disgusted. i hope these charges will bring more justice, how can a judge let him get off easy for something so wretched? so sorry you and your family have been through so much and now THIS. i wish you my best and look forward to a post where you say this sicko is locked up!

tsitodawg - your parents sound like saints. amazing people with huge hearts :)
Posted 4/27/2008 12:23 AM (GMT 0)

So sorry you and your daughter,and baby granddaughter had to go through this. I hate hearing about such evil taking place in this world.

Stay strong,as I know you will. Hugs!!

Posted 4/27/2008 1:19 AM (GMT 0)
I am so truly sorry for all of the horrible things that have happened in your life and the lives of your children. Just think of what an awesome person you have become, and that you could help so many others that have gone through things that your family has had to endure. I will keep you in my prayers along with the man who did this to you daughter, and grandaughter. It is obvious this man also needs the Lord.

Homesick Preachers Wife
Posted 4/27/2008 4:49 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you and God Bless you all for your kindness, and your prayers. As far as I know , the RCMP have not found him or arrested him yet. As I was saying before, my daughter and her partner took the baby to see the doctor yesterday around 5 pm. He dropped everything he was doing and saw her immediately. He was outraged and really bothered by this. He checked her over and prescribed eye drops should an eye infection develop. ...but then late last night , he contatcted her and told her that she had to take the baby in to hospital TODAY for blood tests and that the baby would have to have blood tests every 6 weeks until or for(I'm not sure)a year and a half. My fear is that after they left his office he did some checking into this boy's history. Why would he call her late at night, and urgently insist on blood tests the following day...and every 6 weeks , and for so long. My mind is reelling!I don't express my fears to my daughter.... I've always tried to keep things positive with both my girls in all they have been through.....but late at night, my fears , and memories come flooding in.
My daughter took the baby today for the blood tests. They pricked her little foot 3 times but couldn't get enough blood, so had to put a tourniquet on her tiny little arm and get blood from her vein. She screamed through the whole thing.My daughter was very strong, soothing, kept her composure through it all....but then came home and threw up and cried for a good while during the baby's nap.. My faith in God is strong, but sometimes I can't help but feel that we are being punished for something ..... My head says this isn't so...God is not a vengeful God....but my heart is so tired and sad....at 3 am. when I cannot sleep....I feel defeated! But I have always "surrendered all".... I know some good will come of bad things.... I know! I've lived it! I just have to keep reminding myself of God's infinite mercy and not let myself give in to this weariness. I thank you for your help. You have no idea how vital it is and how much you have helped already.
My love and prayers to all of you.
Mary
Posted 4/27/2008 11:46 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Mary hang in there some people are just not very good people at times. Hope your daughter and future SIL are doing OK .You know we are here for you and we"re all sending you our love and good hope for the future. lol gail
Posted 4/28/2008 2:34 AM (GMT 0)
I honestly don't know why your granddaughter's doctor is requiring all these tests. It seems too soon for anything to show up anyway. Again, I really don't think their concern is HIV because the chance of transmission is so minimal. There would have to be blood present in the saliva and it would have to enter an open wound (or maybe eye). Maybe the are testing for TB or some other infection that could be transmitted via saliva. For peace of mind, your daughter should ask the doctor what he or she is looking for.
Posted 4/28/2008 2:55 AM (GMT 0)
As a nurse on the job, with any exposure to blood, bites, needle sticks, etc. we had to get HIV testing at those intervals, first one to prove we weren't already infected. I believe it is classic CDC guidelines/recommendations.
Posted 4/28/2008 3:15 AM (GMT 0)
I hope this guy isn't rabid! His behavior certainly is. But as someone said, he is also suffering... Unfortunately, he is now a risk to public safety. Which comes FIRST. Can he be held for psychiatric evaluation?

Matthew
Posted 4/28/2008 3:46 AM (GMT 0)
FitzyK23...the saliva did go directly into her right eye. My daughter is planning on asking more questions ASAP. I've been imagining all sorts of things but as a former PHN, the first thing that does come to my mind involving this type of testing protocol...is HIV screening.
Thank you everyone for your kindness and interest/prayers. I will keep you posted.
Love and prayers to all of you. Mary
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