problems at work-please help!

I've had this problem for so long and i still don't know how to handle it. Basically, in the afternoons i have terrible bowel noises and fart  pretty much continuously. This means that i can't cope with sitting still, in silent/quiet environments and as much as my family tell me to just try your best i CAN'T DO IT! Yes, i can physically sit down and hold the gas in but the physchological effect of the embarresing noises is too much to bare.

I work mainly mornings now and 2 full days a week. When the jobs for the day are my usual duties, out of the office, i cope just fine but occasionally there'll be a meeting or a lecture. I know this is wrong but the way i've always handled it is to phone in sick (blaming the crohn's, which is true). The people i work with aren't stupid though and i'm sure they've worked out a correlation!

This kills me everytime i have to do it, im not a liar, i never skipped a day of school in my life but i don't know how to handle it. I can't talk to my boss, they've already made massive adjustments to the job by allowing me to reduce my hours and i don't want them to know that i've got this gas/noise problem. Plus, how could they ever understand that im fine to do my work but not to attend meetings-from an outsiders perspective it makes no sense!

Im not at risk of loosing my job by phoning in sick and i often use up my holiday entitlement to cover these occasions so my attendence is actually very good but i just HATE HATE HATE having to do it. It stresses me out hugely and i shed big fat tears over it. I've got 2 of these meetings in the next 2 weeks and i'm filled with dread.

I offer that your check your rights under employment. I don’t have it front of me.

I can also tell you that employer might take measures to show your work is not satisfactory. For example, government jobs might have productivity measurements.

Perhaps check if your paygrade could be adjusted to account for not attending meetings (in order to keep your job).

 

Whenever separation occurs other than lack of work then unemployment requests the facts from you and employer.

Regarding Unemployment: worst case scenario is that you know that:

"Failure to perform your work to the satisfaction of your employer is not misconduct. The unemployment compensation act provides that an individual shall be disqualified (for unemployment) if it is found that he was discharged as a result of misconduct in connection with work." So I guess this says don’t let misconduct enter the equation because you could loose your unemployment benefits completely.

 

So the employer can take measures if your work is not up to par. But I think this situation isn’t that at all (I just provided the above for your information) but that the employer might have to provide a way for you to receive lectures by providing some reasonable accommodation.

As for what I do with excess gas that causes discomfort... I use the restroom when i need to. I will, in fact, go in, just to let out long gratuitious farts... I have also been known to do the same at my desk, though those are entirely accidental.

From the way I see it the next time you're in a meeting and you feel a big fart coming on you have two choices... Turn to the person to your left, extend your index finger, and with a mischevous grin say "come on, pull my finger. I DARE YOU!"... then let it rip as your coworker pulls your finger... On second thought... maybe that's not the best Idea... Your second option... and the one I exercise is excusing myself to use the restroom. Nobody asks why. And I'm still there for most of the meeting.

You can ask for accomadation under the ADA (assuming you're in the USA) this doesn't need to be in a formal letter, although depending on your employer you may need to make it abundantly clear by being formal. However what you've described sounds like just excusing yourself to use the restroom and taking the time you need in there should be sufficient. If your boss asks, be blunt, say you're having some "gastrointestinal issues" that required you to use the restroom. Which bodily function is not your bosses concern. I'm pretty sure your boss won't want to know any more than it's related to your gut issues.

I hope that helps...

Hi pippy,

I'm from outside the US so I don't know much about your employment laws, but thought I might pop in with a different perspective. I think that sometimes honesty is the best policy, within reason of course. I think your boss, at least, is entitled to know the real reason you're avoiding meetings. That way you'll be protected from your boss thinking that you're just slacking. And, as asc has said, the two of you may be able to work out some alternative arrangement by which you can participate in the meetings. Or perhaps you could be given the job of babysitting the office / phones while the others are in conference, and that way you'll be able to avoid the criticism of your office-mates.

Just some ideas,

I.

Thankyou all for your replies, i really appreciate them. This is the one situation i just can't deal with. I wish i could be a stronger person and not give a darn but some pretty bad experiences have made me, dare i say, phsycholoically disturbed!!!!

Im uk based but thanks for all your input. We're pretty well protected as far as discimination goes and my boss is legally obligated to make accomodations for me so i know that honesty is the best policy but telling the truth is so hard.

Thanks again for all your input.

Pippy have you talked with your doctor about this ? You may be able to change what you eat for lunch . Not eating lunch, if this is something you do, may even make things worse. There are meds like Gas-X. Even as hard as it would be talking with your boss may help. I mean, you can only time a dropped book or slamed door with a gas release just so many times .

Pippy, I've had a huge gas problem since my resection in April. I'm always doing one of three things: holding in farts, farting or pooping. I usually take a drive or walk around my office building in the afternoon, to let out all the gas. I take Fibercon, one pill 2x/day. I also take Imodium that has an anti gas medication in it, but it's obviously of no help. I tried Questran Lite for the D since my resection, but that made my gas problem even worse. On days that I have meetings, I'm uber careful what I eat and that has helped somewhat. I feel like if I could bottle this gas, it could be used as an alternative form of energy. I go to my GI this week. If I find out anything useful, I'll let you know.

Ha Ha Ha! So funny that farting reminds you of me! I can laugh infront of my mates/husband but at work or a formal situation, arggghhhhhhhh, different story!

Wow, if someone buys that please tell us if it works.

One more thought... To battle the negative affects of the stress related to this or any other issue for that matter check into EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). You can find out more at www.emofree.com, www.taping.com and www.tryitoneverything.com. ~ Good luck!

Thanks for replying. I don't drink milk, just soya so that's not causing the problem. I'm yet to try a probiotic but i definately will, i've heard that things get worse before they get better though so i'm waiting until i'm off on holiday before i start.

RobertP, i could definately do with some coping techniques so i'll look into your suggestions, thanks.

Okay. I could not locate the original thread I posted on earlier about my wonderful manger, but this is another work thread so I will update here.

I think I may have gone and got myself fired yesterday! For those of you who have read my story, you know what I have been going through. Well, he was firing off on me yesterday, like always... well, I had enough - PERIOD.

I fired back an email reply and cc'd the COO. This angered him to no end. I was yelled at to come in his office and sit down. I said wait "I need to get my digital recorder for this." (shouldn't have said that - just thought it out loud due to frustration). He got REAL angry and called our worthless HR person in and physically wouldn't allow me to get a recorder.

We had another hour-long yelling session (not the first with HR and him), during which I told him I was DONE with him discriminating my medical disability and DONE with him yelling and bullying me. Of course, as always, he lied and denied all. I was let go and they visited - in other words NOTHING was going to happen to him. She sided with him, as always.

I then put together a nicely worded and extremely detailed email that I sent to the North America IT Director, thinking he could get this kid some sensitivity training. BACKFIRE! He replied stating that he had sent it to our office HR person in accordance with firm policy.

Crap!

Quickly went and burned off all my emails to CD and printed off the latest rounds of his attacks for my home file.

When I was leaving for the day Captain D and the COO were behind closed doors discussing me. I stopped by the HR office and polity asked that if they were going to fire me if they could please do it after the first of July (one more month of medical benefits), and then left. Nothing more I could say.

GREAT - just couldn't keep my mouth closed. I wasn't feeling well at all that day (bad pain and joints hurting like heck). He picked the wrong day to mess with a crohnie.

So anyways. Thought I would let you guys know. Looks like I will be out of work without insurance. Three years of taking him was just more than I could handle.