Tired of life

I don't know how you all do it. I've only really been bad since 06. I read your forums and I don't know how it don't drive you crazy. I was talking to a family member and I was telling him I was going to MAYO on the 27. I can't wait to get there, as I told him I take something to stop me from D, and then I take something to make me go. I hurt all the time. I have one doctor telling me my adrenal gland is messed up, and I have another doctor telling me its due to the drugs so they won't do anything about it. I was going to one doctor and he was driving me crazy, it was to the point that everything was the Crohn's so he wouldn't deal with it.I had to deal with my GI and he's a 4 hour drive away. the thoughts of dealing with this for years,scares me so bad. I lost my job when all this started. Its to hard to stock, unload trucks, help people, when your running or sitting on the toilet. I've had problem for years sense 2000, but I could control it. But when I started going 20 times a day, I lost control. I was wondering if anyone knows what test they do at MAYO ??? I had the camera pill in the end of May, but it didn't make it all the way through. I don't care what test they will do, I was just wondering. I want some answers for why I always hurt, why I have a hard time going to the toilet, and if I will ever have my life back.

I'm so sick of not having my life. There are so many days I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up. I started going to a therapist, and I take a new drug for depression. My life is nothing but taking pills. and I'm not sure if they really help. How have some of you went years and years and not gone crazy ?? I'm sick of being sick. I just turned 50 and I was on a liquid diet. I was so sick I had spots of stool in me, but I still have the same pain and I was taking stuff to clean me out. My GI's nurse told me to take a pain pill. I told my daughter one of these days shes going to come into my room and all she will find is one big pill where once I was. It drives me crazy taking so many pill, my Mother died from cirrhosis of the liver and she got it from taking to many pills. Everyone keeps telling me I won't get it because, she self medicated and I don't. And my GI told me my liver test are fine but, I took care of my mother and the doctors told me hers were fine to.

I don't write much on here because I don't feel anyone wants to here some one gripe so much but, I feel if you don't want to read it its OK


I feel like this head spinning around and around will it ever get better?? I just want some control back in my life. I hate having to put my life in someone else's hands. I've been through so many doctors and I don't like the one I have now. I feel like I should not waist their time. They make me so upset, but I don't have a lot to chose from. I'm not getting refereed to MAYO I chose to go on my own. It will most likely piss off the doctor here, so I'll have to see what they will say once I get back I just hope I get answers.


Dawn

Dawn.
I truly feel or you hon, I think most of us on here has felt like you at one time or another...
I also noticed your age, forgive if I'm way of base and being a tad personal, But is there a chance you might be either peri-menapausal
or menapausal.? The reason I ask is, that about the age you are now I took a downward slide with my emotions. Even though I was
suffering with CD, I still felt that these feelings were different. I could've killed myself or murdered my husband just because he was
breathing!! So I took myself off to see my Gyny doc, and sure enough that was my problem. I took HRT for a couple of years, and felt
more human than I had for years....
Now I know this might not be your problem, and I know you're sick of doctors ( so am I) But It might be worth checking it out, it cant
hurt, and who knows it might help you with those terrible emotions.
I wish you luck, and please keep us updated Lol

Dawn--Hang on. We're with you--gripe away. This disease is a very frustrating one---it is the very definition of chronic. Doesn't cease. sigh. . .

I'm very glad you are seeing a therapist and would HIGHLY suggest you might call that therapist today. I shouldn't tell you what to do but it really sounds like you need a quick visit or chat and that you shouldn't be alone today. When my mom was really depressed about her illness, my dad's best man told her she had to "get out of her head." Her thoughts just kept spinning and spinning around her body and condition and she couldn't get out. It is advice I keep telling myself--especially when healing isn't happening at all and I'm just mush.

I know it sounds ridiculous when you are pooping your brains out 20 times a day and barely keeping it together, but do you knit? sew? paint? read? do sudoku? Can you call someone you haven't talked to in a while? Sort old photos on your bed? It doesn't have to be anything productive at all. Just anything to move your brain away from the "what ifs" and the "what is going ons." Ivy's pacting has helped me. It IS an accomplishment to get dressed--amen to that.

This disease is crazy, unpredictable and makes us nuts. How can I be pooping incessantly from 3:30-5am and then constipated at 8? What is in there? Right?

Please, please get out of your head today. I am sending good vibes.

By Mayo I am assuming Mayo Clinic? Have you ever been there? If not you are going to L>O>V>E it!!! In MN or elsewhere?
You will be listened to. Put your questions for them on a piece of paper now.

Remember you are not alone! It is frustrating! Try to find something little that makes you laugh and start there.

Thanks for helping me feel that I am not alone! Don't worry about going on in your message you need to get it out! I'll listen.

Me: Diagnosed several years: w/Crohns, Colitis, Rhinitis, Tinitus, Fibromyalgia, Asthma & spent the past 2 yrs w/accidents: Tore my knee
then my left shouldter, my collar bone and right shoulder, suffered a crush injury to my right hand now permanent and finished off recently by
knocking myself clean out head injury and now my job is trying to fire me ater 18yrs. I can't keep up on my Dr's and I do get the run-around!
I totally understand where you are at but get rest and focus on the Mayo.
You hang in there. I will be thinking about you!

Hi, I'm new. I was crying while reading this thread. I feel the same way Ne Ne. I'm just so tired of it all.

It's nice to read that people care. I don't know anyone in my life that has Crohn's and that I can talk to about these things that really, really knows how I feel. My husband is terrific though, thank God for him.

((((Hugs)))) I'm sorry your going through all this. It's not fun being sick and I'm sure really not fun having doctors that don't listen to you. I really hope you get somewhere at the Mayo. I have never been to one so no experience there. Come here and vent any time. We'll all listen.

P.S. My name is Dawn too!!! I'm a little younger though!! LOL

Trust me Dawn you are not alone. I was just telling my mom last night that I wish I could just start over. Quit taking all pills and start over. I hate taking so many pills/shots, especially since you really don't feel great when taking them. I too, have been very depressed because it just seem to hit me after 9 years, this is my life. Please don't ever feel that you can't vent here. That's the whole point of forums like this. We ALL have been there at some point and understand what you're going through. Hang in there (I know, easier said then done). I'll will keep you in my prayers!

Hi I'm Back:

I went to Mayo/MN after Dr's spun me round n round like your little icons.
I knew something more was wrong. I had spent twelve years in confusion until I
went. The place is huge. Definitely and experience. I came back with answers.

Again, write a specific list of questions to ask. When I was there I felt really listened too and respected.

I wish I could go back for my followup care. Let us know how it goes and
Good Luck!

I'm here in MN.

LuckyStar01 said...
Hi I'm Back:

I went to Mayo/MN after Dr's spun me round n round like your little icons.
I knew something more was wrong. I had spent twelve years in confusion until I
went. The place is huge. Definitely and experience. I came back with answers.

Again, write a specific list of questions to ask. When I was there I felt really listened too and respected.

I wish I could go back for my followup care. Let us know how it goes and
Good Luck!

I'm here in MN.

Are you willing to let us know what they were able to find at Mayo that other docs had overlooked?

((((Nene)))))

I just logged on, and read the whole thread.  I also want to add my support.  this is such an honest and true forum, and we will understand and care when you "gripe".  You can be excruciatingly honest, too.  I think that no one has any dignity left, anyway, with being Chronies,

I think that chronic pain is so hard to comprehend,and the doctors do feel powerless when faced with a patient that they can't help.  Sometimes they will react by withdrawing or seeming to minimize the patient's distress.  I'm not making excuses, but just trying to help you feel a little less rejected.

please keep posting.... Pix

((((Hugs)))) to all...I am soooooo touched after reading all of these responses. I am so grateful that I found this site.

Dawn - I have felt the same way. Chronic pain zaps the spirit of a person. It is SOOOO hard to deal with at times. Please know that you are not alone and we are all here to share our experiences and sometimes those experiences are awful and that is OKAY.

I have no doubt in my mind that you will find solutions at Mayo. I go to a top rated GI here in Chicago and that has made ALL the difference. It is vital that you get the best help available....that drive will be worth it!

My prayers are with you tonight. PLEASE keep us posted.