Hi. I'm Joie.
I'm trying to figure out what the right or correct way to explain all the joys of "Joie-hood". And yet, what's the point, we've all been there.
We've all whimpered when there was only a single bathroom that was occupied. We've all had accidents. We've all sat the pot and wondered if banging one's head against a wall would make one stupid enough to not understand the agony of the spasms.
And this is me feelin' cheerful.
I suppose, mostly its the fight against the constant never-ending agony of my hips/back/ and recently knee pain mixed in with the battle against depression. Since I've dealt with depression before, I've got tools and whatnot for that but I still find my mind whimpering at me phrases...that concern whether dead cells can send active pain (LOL, for the window-dressing used before).
I've got the emotional thing mostly cool, but I spend three weeks out of four wishing they'd never discovered the last fistulas and abscesses and could've died...peacefully in agony LOL. I'm morbid. I spend the weeks before, during, and after the lovely monthly wishing someone would stop flailing me from the inside out. No insurance so no primary doc. At least for now. And I suppose, it took me quite awhile to actually come to a forum for the CD when I KNEW I wouldn't start sniffling and whimpering 'cause of everything I'm learning of the joie's of our shared diseases.
And from here I'm shut the bleepity bleeper and squakin up.