I'm male, 44, and you just described my day yesterday to a T, kiki. It's pretty darn sore when you feel you "need" to go but can't - it is usually a sign that the nerves in your gut that tell the anus (which is a complicated, airlock style double valve thingie) when the gut is full, are inflamed and going haywire. (That's assuming that the stools are loose and not hard, lumps which would be constipation. ) This inflammation is also often the source of abdominal pain, pretty much a case of you don't get one without the other. I gauge how good my day will be by how many and hot the "burning coals" around my midriff are.
My answer is (was, yesterday) probiotics, herbal tea or water to keep fluid levels up, some light food, and sleep. I always find after sleep that my gut has calmed, it is a real "reset" button.
The more you can resist going, the less incontinence issues you may have in the long term, according to one theory that says the nerves can be mis-educated by a patient choosing to act upon this inflammatory lie. Certainly I rarely act upon these urgent urges, make a point of always postponing the dash to the wee room, and I have a history of gradually increasing urgency with lots of time to organise myself, rather than catastrophic "do or die" moments.
But Crohn's Disease I am sure, was not responsible for the awful grammatical structure of that second sentence, so if you are an English teacher, you are safe from that terrible malady, and I do apologise !
