Question for caregivers

I do sometimes. I take care of my grandmother and I worry terribly about her when she's having a problem. I worry about everything though. I'm sorry your son is going through a difficult time. It's a good thing he's got you by his side:) But I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, just a caring person.

Thanks for your replies. I mostly worry about who's going to take of him if something happens to myself and my husband. My son lives with us, so it's easy to take care of him(sorta), but both my hubby and I have health problems too. I have back problems and sciatica, so it gets to me sometimes. The last few weeks before his Remicade, he suffers and I have to serve his food to him. I literally have to wait on him hand and foot. I know I shouldn't worry about stuff like that, but I can't help myself. But, like I said, how's he going to take care of himself without me?

My son is planning on going to university next year which means he will not be living at home

and will no doubt have a new consultant. He will have to rely on himself to remember to take his medication, arrange repeat prescriptions and eat(he gets waitress service too when he bad)! I'm gonna go out of my mind worrying about him-especially if he goes somewhere quite a distance away(in that I can't get to him quickly if he needs help)

Djin- 'Daddy' works overseas and worries himself sick that he can't be here-even if he was though, what could he actually do.

Thanks for your thoughts too. I guess everyone suffers, albeit in different ways

 

Post Edited (vixen) : 2/22/2010 2:01:29 PM (GMT-7)

Vixen,
Make sure he goes to the dorms where they have alot of help and hopefully gets a caring RA/CA. Some universities have a food delivery service for the handicap. about the meds, there are generally university health services and he can get the meds mailed to him.
I do want to assure you that there are two mods on this forum that have lost their support systems and have been managing.
Take care,
Navy

I'm not a mom, but a wife whose husband has Crohn's disease. It's a different kind of worry, but worry nonetheless. I worry about whether my husband is going to continue working, whether we're going to be able to take our next vacation, whether he's going to need surgery in the future, whether he's going to have to deal with an ostomy, whether he's going to get cancer . . . you name it.

I was a complete mess when my husband was first diagnosed, so much so, that when my hubby was in the hospital, I couldn't face coming home to sleep at home. And I had so much separation anxiety, I pretty much lived in the hospital. And I had so much anxiety about the whole thing, I ruined all my days even after he started feeling better. I've been struggling to find the right balance of Carpe Diem - where I can shelve the what ifs for when they actually happen, but worry about tactically getting myself ready for if they do happen (financially and emotionally).

I think you just do your best, hope for the best, and try to worry about it as little as possible. Hard to do, but absolutely what we need to do in order to move on and live our lives. My husband says my worry and anxiety is worse than his pain and suffering, and maybe it's true. I just know that neither of us has is even remotely happy when he's sick, and I hope and pray every day that the good days continue and to give us the strength to face the bad ones and conquer them.

You're not alone in your worry, we all live with it. Try to focus on the immediate . . . the what ifs just have to be shelved and put away.

PV

Djin,

I can't answer for other dads but in my husband's case he just wouldn't think of using the internet for research, help, etc for anything barring help when the computer is playing up I don't know why that is-it is just him and I also guess that generally the dads are the ones that work full time and don't necessarily have to deal with any (or is it many) isues that crop up.

I guess men aren't so open with expressing their feelings (to strangers)I also think maybe that they would rather not know the full implications, in this case of crohns, either, unless they have the physical condition themselves. 

or perhaps on a lighter note.....................they know that the women are going to do it anyway !!!