Funny or embarrasing moments as a Chronie

So...I just had an MRI of my abdomen....I felt it coming on and thought to myself "Alright, Kalee, you have to hold this. They need a stool sample when you get back anyway, and you're not going to want to interrupt your scan." Well, I couldn't hold it.
AND the GUY doing my scan was in his early twenties and had been flirting with me before hand. I was mortified. That isn't even the end of it. I had to squeeze the hand thing for him to let me out, and he came in "What do you need?" "Uhhh..I need to go to the bathroom." "Okay, but we only have a few more pictures." "Oh...well, I need to go now....I had an accident." "......number one or number two?" *I blush profusely* "number two."
I was so embarrassed.

The last year I worked before being forced to retire, I was on a service call but was gassed up so bad I could not stop the gas from passing. As I was leaving, the lady of the house began asking questions about what the trouble was and so on. I had already explained those things and was desperately trying to get out of the door. My butt was so clinched I'll bet my eyes were bulging. Without warning there was a short high pitched passing of gas , sounding like a squeek actually . The lady looked sorta puzzled so I grabbed my voltage tester from my tool pouch, it beeps when the test button is pressed, I pressed the button and shrugged my shoulders . The lady smiled and I beat a hasty retreat to my truck where I proceeded to blast away, in privacy. I wondered later if the lady was fooled or just did not want to beleive her own ears.

I never thought to check Randy, forgot a little goes a long way. Perhaps, sense I was leaving through the kitchen, she spent the rest of the day going through the pantry in search of that spoiled potato or onion. Hope she didn't throw out too many groceries.