Ever feel defective?

This disease also makes me feel defective. I can't help thinking that people like me are at an evolutionary disadvantage. In the past, sickly people wouldn't survive. The only reason I am living is because of modern medicine, not because I am intrinsically able to be healthy. It's nice to say that Crohn's patients and other people with conditions are just like everyone else except that we have various health conditions, but that's not realistic. It's not "just your health" because your health dictates everything else. I was told I could do anything I put my mind to, but that's not true. I am limited what my body is capable of- having the focus and energy to study for school, being well enough to leave the house for social occations, etc. It's unfair; however, bad things happen to good people. I just try to focus on the things I can control. What's frustrating is that I'm the type of person to push myself so I'm always challenging myself and now I'm also challenged by my health which I can't always control.

When I was 21 I had a friend who had a crush on me. As he got to know me a little better and I shared that I have RA and CD he blurted out, "I could never marry YOU! You're defective!" It stung me so badly. Thankfully he was no one I would have ever considered as more than a friend, so I wasn't totally devastated, but it really made me pause to think, 'Will anyone ever want me?' 'Am I really defective?'

You know what? I came to the conclusion that I am NOT defective. As Suzanne said, we are all human and that makes us defective in some way or another. I can totally understand all the things you hate about this disease, I have felt it all myself. But I have to say that I am grateful. Grateful to have it and NOT something else - something worse, something that will kill me. I'm grateful that I have seen my own weakness and it has allowed me to be more compassionate towards others and more knowledgable about medicine and the miracle of the human body. The more I learn, the more I'm amazed that we're all as "functional" as we are.

You are wise to focus on what you can control. This is certainly not a disease that makes daily life lollipops and roses, but don't feel defective! You're not! Or at least you're no more so than the rest of humanity. Hang in there. I know it's hard. I'm not so upbeat on my tough days either. But keep your chin up. You'll get through this. Most of us in life don't get what we deserve - far too often the good suffer and the bad are rewarded, but there's good and opportunities to learn from all opposition if we look for it.

P.S. As for that dumb guy - don't know where he is today, but I have a great hubby and we're about to celebrate our 9th anniversary. He's wonderful and teases me that I'm "broken", but loves me for all that I am... defective guts and all.

You're not defective, you're "genomically challenged"! you're frustrated and young and wanting to have more fun and ease -- and deserving it. Of course it's unfair. ((HUGS))

It's hard not to feel well, and not be able to run with the herd!! But you like challenges, and believe it or not, even with illnesses there are both spiritual gifts and emotional gifts you get, and things you learn to appreciate that some people run so fast they never see. It's unfair, especially in someone so young of course. But you got dealt a genomic challenge, and you'll live to see it cured, and I bet it's soon enough that you'll see improvements in treatment and a lot more health before you know it. Just not maybe tonight.

There's this old story a shrink told me: A bunch of people are in group therapy, and the shrink tells them to all write their problems down and toss them into the center of the circle they're all sitting in. Then he tells them they can take anyone elses problems they want and trade the life they are dealing with for theirs!

Everyone looks excited for a moment, and then they start reading the other peoples problems to pick the one they want to trade for.

In the end, everyone decides they want their own little scrap of paper back.

The moral to the story is obvious. I guess the advice I have to give is if you can afford it, get some support. A therapist, a shrink (i like them because they are smart about medicine) whatever you can get. It's a spa for the soul if you can afford it. If not, find a friend that let's you ***** until you're done and can make you laugh. My dog makes me laugh. take good care. xoxo

Yeah, I feel defective due to this disease...I was in my early 20's when I got sick, I joke with hubby that he thought he was driving a corvette off the lot (married me) but he ended up with a lemon with no extended warranty LOL.

However, I don't take traditional oral RX used to "treat" this disease because I'm either allergic or non-responsive, so I have to strongly disagree that modern meds are what's keeping ppl with IBD alive, afterall, I've had it for almost 20 yrs now.

I do agree that having this disesase can and does certainly predict even the smallest things, like maybe the clothes/shoes we wear (I'd have a tough time running to the can in public in high heels for example) and I had to sell my car and buy a minivan and take the back bench seat out and put a port-o-potty in it's place so I could leave my house with some formof security that while driving if I have to "go" then I can and not worry about crapping my pants.

I learned a long time ago that life isn't fair, it is what it is, we just have to do the best we can and if nothing else, at least I've had to become more creative than I already was in order to try and deal with this disease...how many ppl have thought to put a port-o-pot in the back of their van so they have the security of knowing if they have to poop it doesn't have to be in their pants?

Defective guts, defective brain, defective personality. Yes, I feel defective.

Yes, I feel defective too.  I feel like I can't be the mom I want to be or the wife or the friend.  I'm not doing some of the volunteering that I love because I don't have the energy right now.  I feel like those that are close to me suffer too because of my disease.  I think I've aged my parents because of how much they worry about me.  I try not to dwell on the bad things, but some days it's so difficult.  But, I know how you feel or at least I think I do.  I think all of us here understand. 

Yes, I understand the feeling defective (and I felt this way often pre-crohn's)...but funny thing, this disease has also given me many gifts too...yes, I cannot do as much, but what I can do, I get to enjoy it like I never did before...for instance, to most people working out or even doing the laundry is a chore, to me it is heaven...I enjoy doing it, for the former I feel invigorated, for the latter I feel a great sense of accomplishment of being able to keep my home beautiful (house proud)...
And then I think about where and when I could have been born...and it really makes me thankful that I am here...I have good doctors that try and ease my pain and symptoms...but so many other places in the world you cannot...

Being normal is all relative to interpretation. Everyone has their challenges and trials but those do not make us defective or different. Those trials and challenges just make us live life differently but they make our souls stronger. How many of you would even have a clue of how much you could handle without having Crohn's disease? Don't get me wrong, I would much rather live a crohn's free life. Since that is not an option now, I choose to recognize the good aspects of the disease. We all have ups and downs, not too long ago I went through a major down and decided that I will never let my attitude drop like that again. I no longer care how others may view me or my disease because I am the one living my life. All too often we let society dictate how we are supposed to think, feel, and live. We should embrace the fact that we do have a disease and we are incredible humans for being able to live with it. As a religious person I honestly believe that God doesn't give us challenges that we can not overcome and I must be a strong person to have this one. Attitude is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we react to it.