Therapy

I had my first therapy appt today to help with anxiety caused by Crohn's. Not really sure how therapy is going to help me. The lady seemed nice but will give it one more try before I decided to not go again. I was told she is the best one at the place to deal with people who live with diseases but she didn't even know what CD was. My mom told me that just because she didn't know what it was doesn't mean that she won't be able to help. So I explained to her what it was but still not sure. Today was more of questions and then I had to answer. So I guess in time it will help. I guess I should try and be more positive about it but not a fan of it. Very hard to tell someone how you feel when you aren't feeling it and also explain it. So much easier to talk to everyone on here seems to help more. Did anyone else go to therapy to try and get help for living with this disease and when you went did you also want to just not go again? I just don't get how talking to her will help me not be so anxious. So confused or maybe I'm just too immautre??

Sometimes it can help to keep a mood diary, chart or log, to help you remember what you were feeling at a particular time, what your triggers were, and how long problems lasted afterwards, and how you helped overcome them.

Ivy.

For talk therapy to be helpful it doesn't require that you bare your soul and confess every thing you think or feel, no matter how personal. Just in case that is worrying you.

What is does require is your willingness to show up and be there, to be open to the possibility that someone who has experience helping others in your shoes will have something valuable to share with you. And you must look inward at least enough to decide what your immediate goals are in entering into therapy.

Goals can be very concrete - I don't want to have panic attacks every time I drive by my doctor's office. Or they can be broader - I want to figure out what I can do to feel more peaceful and relaxed in my daily life. In my experience, starting with a concrete goal works well - it gives you and the therapist a clear common goal to work on and lets you build trust at a level that may be more comfortable for you before exploring things that may be more challenging.

It may take several sessions for you to decide if the particular person you are seeing is someone you can be comfortable with and who has the skill to help you reach your goals. And you may have a very positive experience with one person and not with another.

Talk therapy usually really helps people suffering from anxiety. There are specific cognitive techniques the therapist can teach you to help you deal with your body's tendency to go into fight or flight mode when it's not helpful. If anxiety is keeping you from enjoying your life and doing what you want to do or getting needed treatment then I think you should hang in there and do the same thing you would do with a doctor - wait a bit to see if things are going to work out well.

I recall my first 2 meetings with my current therapist. I was put off, even angry at first.She seemed distant and uncaring to me (I was used to therapists who were clearly sympathetic about my challenges.). She was calm and very professional. She talked about the limits of her availability after hours (I reacted to this by thinking she was going to abandon me once 5 pm hit each day. Actually it has been the total opposite.). She was caring but didn't tell me she was sorry things were so difficult or stuff like that.

She has turned out to be the best therapist I have ever worked with. Her calm demeanor has turned out to be compassion at arm's length. She has a firm belief that I don't need to be rescued or pitied. Instead she treats me like I am an adult who needs a sounding board to help me cope more effectively and productively with situations that most people will never face.

She has walked this kind of journey with many others before me and I figure it would be foolish of me to refuse to accept the benefit of her experience.

I will pass along her thoughts on having to tell a therapist about whatever has brought you to therapy - be it illness like CD, divorce, work stress - and having to educate them on your particular medical condition.

Just the process of telling your story - the impact of CD on your life and your relationships, about the particular way the disease manifests for you, about the treatments you have had to endure - is important. You will almost certainly discover that your view of your experiences and your understanding of the effects of those experiences has changed or shifted in some way that is helpful to you. Just because you had to tell another person about it all, beginning to end.

I know this has been true for me. I would hope that it would be true for you too - with this therapist or with someone else.

Please don't take my comments to mean that you should keep seeing this person if she gives you the creeps or weeps with you out of pity or smells bad - or anything that is offensive or inappropriate. On the contrary. Go find someone else right away and don't stick around to see if you still have the creeps 3 or 4 sessions from now.

Best wishes,

Oh how I wish I had that magic wand to make all of us feel better.

Wasn't really sure what to expect when I went for the 1st time or anytime. I'm calling tomorrow to hopefully go this Thursday since the next time I would go would be the 16th. Which skipping a week would be crazy. I need to get better and get this help so I can move on. Hopefully she'll have something available. All good points. I never really thought of it that way that I was thinking these thoughts since I dont feel like I'm thinking when it happens. Maybe I am and just don't notice. Thanks for all your support. If it wasn't for all of you on HW I would never have gone since I thought I was the only one who had anxiety caused by getting or having Crohn's.