My pity party...crying...don't know what I need...

{{{SORRY}}}} you're feeling so bad.

I'm emailing you.

darn depressing, I could think of alot worse things to say, but open forum and all. I find it just, depressing.

(((((Hugs))))) Only advice I have for you is think only of the present. The past is now irrelevant mostly and the future is unknown and unpredictable. We can only deal in the now. Try to not let your mind wander to the what ifs, and try not to let your mind dwell in the negatives. Try to focus on the positive things in your life.

When you are feeling bad, running to the loo, in pain, and running a fever it is really really hard to think of positives. Especially if you are home alone. I don't know what meds you are on, but you do think you can take an anti-depressant? It really feels to me like you are having a rough time right now, and depression is very common with crohnic illnesses. I know you are dealing with not just crohn's, but also PSC. I can tell that you are terrified about how things are going to turn out in the future.

I really think you can take an anti-anxiety med, like xanax or klonopin when you get to feeling so anxious. And if you start on an anti-depressant you should need the xanax lesser and lesser. I too am constantly afraid of what the future holds, and get very anxious about probable outcomes. The only reason I am sane right now, when my husband is being evaluated for possible lymphoma is because I am on an anti-depressant. It really does help me stay rational.

I can only tell you my experience. I am so sorry you are dealing with so much! ((((Hugs)))) I hope your hubby comes back home soon, and can give you a great big hug and help you feel better. Until then, we're here for you to send you virtual hugs.

PV

(((Becoming Undone))) Please know that I have you in my prayers. Not sure whats going on, but just want you to know you can come here anytime and vent to us. We do care and will listen. Hugs!

(((Becoming Undone))) I have no words of wisdom but I'm having the hardest time keeping my eyes dry and looking sane. I'm constantly thinking of the worst outcomes because the options the drs are giving me sound like they are boxing me into a very sick and lonely place. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone...take care

Big Huggggggg ((((((((((((((((((((((((((B U)))))))))))))))))))))))))) . I know thats not much but its from the heart. Hang on to what you can . Know that we care and your in our hearts and prayers. Fell free to talk all you need to here, we are here for you.

Heya Becoming undone,

The unknown is so dang hard to deal with when it comes to this disease and feeling as if you are all alone does not help much either. When I found out I had this I started counseling and got on an antidepressant which was hard for me to do because I hate taking pills but it really helped me out. I have even found an IBD support group in a nearby city that I will start going to tonite! There may be one in your area where you can go to and get some support being around others that are going through this disease like yourself? It is perfectly normal to have times where you just feel so down with all you are going through. I hope your fever abates soon and I am sure once your hubby holds you for a bit it hopefully it will help some. Hang in there!

Libra1979

Geeeez BU, I cry at what I see on TV too ,but its not fever,,its TV shows with bad taste and what passes for humor today that brings tears to my eyes ...

I was sitting here bawling my eyes out when I saw your post. When are they going to find a cure for this disease?? I have two awful and inflamed perianal abscesses right now and its hard to walk, sit, stand...breath! I don't know what to do about them and the future is so scary to me to. The doctor wants me to start Humira but I am sooo scared to take it....but I also can't handle these abscesses anymore. I'm so sorry you are down. I just keep praying that this is the year they find a cure!

This reply goes out toBecomingundone: Sorry to hear that your under the weather, I know I get teary eyed alot these days. It gets really old havi g to feel crummy alot of the time. hope your hubby made home okay from work and gave you lots of Hugs!! How is your Crohns and PSC doing these days, did they change your medicine or anything? I'm still awiting the Humira, with the co-pays and all of that so I'm hoping within the next couple of weeks I'll be going into the hospital for the 1st injection. I'm still kinda scared, but I'm hoping that it will be all for the best!!! Take care of yourself and hope that you get to feeling better real soon!! Silvergriz

I am sorry your having such a hard time right now. I know it doesn't make it any better but I am right there with you today. I am so frustrated with being sick all the time all I can do is cry today. ((((((HUGS)))))