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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 8/24/2011 6:48 AM (GMT 0)
Hello! It has been awhile since I have posted. I am just having a hard time right now. I always feel like a burden, or high maintenance to others in my life. I have been told that and that when I constantly don't feel good it can be annoying to hear about. I feel sick daily in one way or another and I know others don't get that but they only hear about I have to live with it! I don't have any friends and my bf is the only one that ever hears about it and I don't even talk about it that often. Sorry I just needed to vent cry
Posted 8/24/2011 8:35 AM (GMT 0)
Steph,

I just wanted to say, "Hello," I really do understand what you mean about feeling like a burden. I am sick daily too from one thing or another. For me it feels like I don't have anything to talk about with family or anyone because all I know is medical problems or Mental Health problems. For me, I get very lonely & then tend to isolate.

I just wanted you to know that your thought of here, sending you Hugz N Smiles your way. And your not a burden to me or anyone here at HW.

Hang in there sweetie...
Your Healingwell Friend,
Serenitee

Loop ileostomy, Pelvic & Bladder Trauma & Dysfunction, Colon tore thru vaginal wall & colon & Bladder fell out of my body thru vagina...Tore up everything in Pelvis.

Bipolar 2, Borderline, Anxiety-Panic Disorder, Ptsd
Posted 8/24/2011 1:42 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Stef,

I so understand what you are going thru. I was in the hospital 2 1/2 weeks in July and have been out of work since July 1st. I feel so guilty being out of work, and the burden it is putting on my co workers. Then of course, there is my poor husband who has been having to deal with a sick me too. It really does get you down, and I do understand your feelings.

I am trying so hard to get better, trying anything and everything to get well. But with this darn disease, we are sometimes under its control not our own. Do as Serenitee says and feel free to come here and vent. Thats what we are here for, and at least you know that we do care and truly understand.

Hugs
Gail*Nanners*
Posted 8/24/2011 6:06 PM (GMT 0)
Steph,
I was actually just talking about the same exact thing last week with someone. I'm 33 and feel like I'm always needing help and being a burden to my family, rather than the "normal" person who can always take care of themself.

It's so frustrating, but you are NOT alone in this. I think most of us with CD are so self reliant with most of our disease, and we try to do everything we can so we don't ask for help unless we really need it. It's hard to be self reliant when it seems emergencies and lots of issue crop up randomly, leaving you needing help. Not to mention, with CD it does seem to always be something...

I'm sure to family, it's just how things are. My parents and sister have never commented on it, but I imagine if they did I'd feel even lower and guiltier than I already do.

Hugs to you! Vent to those of us who understand as much as you need to!
Posted 8/25/2011 12:24 AM (GMT 0)
Steph -

I feel your pain. I feel exactly the same way. Last week had a huge blowup with my husband (the day my daughter left for college which is always emotional for me). He was mad I don't get more done (I am lucky enough not to work - I was told to retire from my nice flexible part-time well-paying job in 2003). I haven't worked for over 2 years now (did a little part time work for a few years). So I try to do stuff around the house but as you know it ain't easy with this DD.

Finally after he was done venting (he is under horrible stress from work), we talked about our fight a few days later. He knows I do what I can. He never actually said he was sorry, but I think he was. I know I am not always the most highly motivated person (see other posts on depression, motivation, etc.), but I think I get a fair amount done all things considered. I don't talk about my daily problems with him like I should. But after one of these fights, I have a few weeks of being totally honest about how I am feeling. But then it stops again. I get tired of talking about it!

Anyway, I totally get where you are coming from. Lots of sympathy and hugs.

Sudsmom
Posted 8/25/2011 4:16 PM (GMT 0)
Do you have any CCFA support groups in your area? That may be a way to get your feelings out without burdening your boyfriend.

I hope you start feeling better (((xoxo)))
Posted 8/26/2011 2:47 AM (GMT 0)
I am in the same boat. I am sick of people saying they are sorry for me. I am sick of being the sick girl and the sympathy case! I am thankful for the people in my life that will listen and tell me everything is going to be ok. But like today at work, someone else in our small ap department called in and well, i felt it necessary to run my checks and get them sent out. Even though I couldn't think straight I got what need to be done because like Nanners said, I hate leaving my job for someone else. I just want to lead a normal life and not have to wait to see how I feel to make plans. I feel like Crohn's has formed me and I wear it on my sleep and talk about it to anybody. I don't think that is right. But it's so frustrating and confusing I just want input. ...from the wrong people I suppose. Might be time to find a support group or a therapist to talk these things out and not rely on my friends and family so much.

And I am rambling. Feel better, Steph! (I am also a Stephanie :) )
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