Hi everyone, I'm new to this site. I was diagnosed with Crohn's in December of 2011, and my flare still continues. I'm also currently dealing with a fistula, abscess, and possible surgery. I wasn't too keen on reaching out on a forum at first- I figured my family and friends were enough of an emotional support to get through this. But lately it doesn't feel that way at all... That I'm barely stringing along. I missed a month of work in December, and am now off work from March 16th (when I was hospitalized for the second time) through easily early May. It's so frustrating to feel useless, to hurt constantly (though I suffered with symptoms for about 3 years before being diagnosed and therefore am kind of used to it), to wish that I could get healthy but not being able to. I'm 25 and to find out your whole life is going to be affected like this... Threats of surgery looming over if I don't get better, and there's nothing I can do to make it better but take my pills and hope... there's no way anyone but someone else with Crohn's could understand.
The doctors are now questioning if Humira is working on me- I was on prednisone for 4 months and gained 30 pounds, but at least it seemed to work. Now I'm on a slough of antibiotics and Percocet to get through the times where I can't even move to use the bathroom without getting the deep stabbing pain in my abdomen. The symptoms are seemingly easing up but I'm not sure when the pain will come again or not. I never know what triggers a good day or a bad day and can only hope.
Still don't know what to eat either, I get so conflicted by what I've read or even what the doctors tell me. Lately I haven't been very hungry, which is nice because I've been overweight most of my life anyways and I need to lose, but it's frustrating this is the way it has to happen.
Been dealing with family not understanding, friends ignoring me, not being able to express my anguish, fear and pain with anyone because they can't understand what it's like. I know a few people who have Crohn's, but they didn't have it as severe as I do so even they can't understand how bad I hurt and for how long- for them the symptoms went away almost as soon as they were treated.
I probably sound like a whiner, or maybe I don't... but I just wanted to know if others feel like I do, if there are those who want to talk, to share their experiences... I'd just like to feel not so alone. I'd like to talk to someone who understands fully for once.