Lonely gal in the world

I'm sorry you are struggling so much with your mother. Stopping your meds to make yourself sick enough to be hospitalized is a strange way to solve this problem. Are there no social workers in your community who can help you with some counseling? Make some friends? Go sit outside and talk to people?

Hi, nicecupoftea I understand u are helping me I am grateful to u too, kaybern also same to you, u mention tat I don't take meds is not correct way this I understand too, but my problem not just like tat, still have other probs tat can't help it, even now I stop meds also need long times then flare up tat I understand, to my mum I talk or never talk also same nothing chg if don answer her more probs, answer her also get scold, on tv or headphone also serious case, cos she can do only other ppl can't do, I got see counsellor in Singapore too but the counsellor here no good just keep give meds to slp only or ask me admit to stay metal wards, tat kind of wards is not for me how can they treat me like this so I angry and stop see them, I just try to run away from probs bcos I scare afraid worry, mum treat me bad but I still can't leave her alone how she is my mum, since young I saw my dad suffering from lung cancer stomach cancer then bone cancer dad pass away very fast I very sad till now cos my dad love me a lot, if my dad still here saw my mum treat me this way sure will chase out by my dad, when young time lock me at home I run away for few months dad report police and ask frens to help out look for me but only my mum say don't wan this daughter if I back she will never treat me as her child, only treat me good when I have money give her or buy things to her, b4 even have crohns I still working I earn a lot in a day so give her some, after my sick flare up n have op I stop working, frens? I am very lonely gal no frens not even one frens, all been chase out by mum after married chase by ex husband, now facing divorce probs too, now stay the house is dad leave it to me so married stay in here, even ex also can't afford to buy house, ( ex parents don like me at all everytime go back their place ex mum chase me out) so after married his mum force me add ex name as owner tat time never tink of will divorce so we add ex in, first 2 years still good to me after tat start we don't talk or slp tgt, ex back from work will go other room and drawing finish go in room slp, ex also never give allowance to me at tat ( marketing have) so very fast 5 years pass I can't take it anymore I run away to frens house stay few days see ex will call me( never care at all) after few days I back home, again I try to talk and ask go shopping ex say very tired so day by day I get use it, We been pass life tgt for 12 years like tat, in 2008 I finally ask for divorce ex say if divorce how I live( I say tat my probs no need ex worry) then ex say wan divorce can but wan me give ex half of my house, (250k cash) so I ask lawyer , lawyer say don have to bcos ex never pay this house any cents( ex pay electri water bill) so I say house not he buy so I will never give a cent to ex, so ex do funny things at home and bring frens back to slp (workers) do till mum and me cant take it I find ex talk again how then ex agreed to sign ex say he wan 35k so I tink if can I will sell house and give ex the money left cash buy small house stay as long get him out only, first ex agreed so I hire private lawyer do but ex chg mind again say I must give him the cash first then ex withdrawn his name out, but we don trust ex, cos since married till now wat ex say is empty cheque not even one is true even his son also don trust him, I can say since married to ex I am very good and be a good daughter in
Law to ex, everyday stay at home do cleaning cooking take care son, never spend any money at all, don say other ppl, who will be able to like me never buy clothing make up facial go out shopping as long never spend on myself just buy for ex son and mum, don say cut hair also never, who can whole days stay at home and don mix w frens my relative scold me got husband no more aunt so all avoid me now I admit also no one care or visit, my world now just is me alone tat y I feel very lonely and sad in night keep crying alone , I can say no ppl have this kind of family and life like me, if I wan say out all my story u can read till cry out, also can't finish write too, thank for kaybern and cupoftea, can we chat also can be my frens ? I really wish can find someone to chat

It certainly sounds like a miserable existence... :/

I wasn't suggesting you abandon your mother entirely by the way - only to walk away if she was being nasty to you. You don't have to stand there and listen to her scolding, nagging, berating, or whatever it is she does. I can't really tell from your posts if she's ever nice to you, or always horrible. If she's occasionally nice, then it's a bit easier, as you can 'reward' her for being nice by staying with her. Bit of a crude way of putting it, I know...

The ex sounds ghastly and to be honest I would keep on searching for a way to get him out of your house. If it means a pay-off, so be it. Unfortunately, I have no idea about how to make him stick to his promise - that sounds like a legal issue :/

I agree with cleanfreak; try looking for a Crohn's group in your country. In the UK, there's a national Crohn's charity, local Crohn's groups, occasional meetings at hospitals, etc. In the US, there's probably even more going on. I dunno where you live (Singapore?), but if there's nothing going on in the real world, try searching for online folks from your own country. An online Crohn's group would be even better. I know you've found HW, but there's virtually no one here from outside the US and a small handful of other English-speaking countries. Think you would find it easier to make friends in a setting where people share the same language and culture as you.

That said, I don't mind becoming your friend. Only thing is, I feel obliged to warn you I'm not really a big talker. I may seem like it from the size of my posts, but I'm really not :\ I don't log into FB or my email for weeks at a time sometimes :\ (Oh heck, I feel guilty now for neglecting my two main online friends. Sorry gaiz. You know I love you really, I'm just lazy... :-/)