I've had my surgeries done back in the days where you spent at least one day in the hospital prior to surgery. I came thru each surgery fine w/no complications. BUT - I don't know that I could do as they do today where you do any prepping at home and then voluntarily go to the hospital the morning of surgery.
I'd probably jump in the car - and take off in the opposite direction!!! I just don't know that I could force myself to voluntarily go to the hospital the morning of surgery!!!
You have my sympathy. I'm pretty sure I understand "where you are at" and I don't envy you - BUT - keep in mind the distinct possibility that you are going to feel so much better in the future!
I was so sick prior to my surgeries that I felt GREAT and BETTER than before surgery the second day after surgery. Thankfully they kept me "sedated" enough the day of and the day after surgery I don't even remember them.
I hope you get that feeling of relief and comfort that soon or even sooner as well. Good luck and God bless!