Posted 10/14/2013 12:01 AM (GMT 0)
Only read the first few sentences so far and I couldn't be in more agreement!
Okay finished reading the whole post. My first thought? Find a new therapist ASAP, the psychiatrist you are seeing at the moment sounds pious and sanctimonious to a fault. That is not helpful. Find somebody whom you can be entirely honest with without judgement and without being patronised. This may be harder than it sounds, unfortunately. But if money is not an issue, it is worth the search. You want somebody competent, not a clown.
As for your family issues, I can relate to nearly all of it. None of my family have read up on my disease either; all those concerned spouses and parents who post on HW and, in many cases, know as much about as Crohn's as I do: those are not any members of my family.
My parents have accompanied me to some appointments and visited me in hospital, but otherwise none of my brothers, aunts, or cousins have the faintest interest or clue in what I've been through. The only aunt who has expressed any understanding is the mother of my cousin who also had Crohn's (I use the past tense, because, sadly, she died a few years ago [not from Crohn's]).
You'd think my eldest brother might understand since he also has Crohn's, but I'm not close to him and we've never talked about it, except maybe once. But his is different to mine; more proctitis, I think. Anyway, he's always held down a full-time work, played sports, etc.
Anyway, I didn't have a family that was capable of understanding or caring, apart from my parents. It's kinda funny really; in the first few years after diagnosis, my dad would sometimes talk up my Crohn's, saying that it was a serious disease. Because he's always been a total hypochondriac, I think he was vicariously being ill through me for a while. Then as the years passed and I failed to have surgery after surgery, or whatever, he stopped doing it.
One bit of your post which rang a particular bell was this:
They even avoid talking to me when I'm mad or depressed.
Yep, exactly. My mum is straight up with the ignoring me as punishment soon as I fall into depression. It's just one power game after another, with both her and my dad. No hope of a real conversation with either of them.
I wish I could help you better with your own family relations, minnie, but I've made a complete mess of mine. You should consider whether or not you are fighting a losing cause and emotionally distancing yourself from your mother and your sisters. It sucks being ill and not having anybody recognise it: the only thing I can say by way of consolation is that on this forum most of us will sympathise with you.