Clonehead,
Normally I would agree with you about deciding which drug to take. When it came down to deciding which one, I couldn't find anything showing that one was better than the other. My doctor was more towards Humira and Cimzia was an after thought with him. I think I had made up my mind before even speaking with him.
I think this whole this just has me worried. I don't do well with drugs and that is why I was on Remicade. I have a mild case of Crohns and most of it is now inactive. The problem is I have adverse reactions to all the medicines...and I have tried them all. Remicade was a last resort. I didn't warrent using it except there was nothing else to try. My dr wanted me to use Humira first but I was scared I would have a bad reaction. With Remicade, I have professionals there as I am getting it so I can be treated right away. I think this is what is worring me know. Taking medicine like this at home with no health care help around worries me. It isn't like it leaves your body in a couple of hours. It is there for weeks. Add my hatred of needles on top of all this and anxiety takes over. I will try to stay calm and I am sure all will be ok..but this is just how I am.
Overall, I think the CD is just getting to me mentally again. I try to stay positive but at times it is hard. I have been real depressed in my life over this disease and I hated how that felt. I never want to feel like that again and when medicine won't help me and I am on the last type of medicine that there is...that helpless feeling starts creeping back again. My dr told me that when you switch biologics there is only a 30-40% chance of it working as well. With my history that isn't good and if Humira doesn't work...then I will have to try experimental trials which really isn't a solution. I feel like I am driving on a road and I can see the end of it which is a dead end...but I am not there yet and I have to figure out how to find another road to travel on.
Thanks for letting me vent.....been a long time since I have or felt this way.