NCOT's never-ending topic, part 2

Hi Miranda I loved your pictures.

I'm a carrier for Tyrosinemia I think it's type 1. Thankfully it never broke out but I can pass it on. I decided not to have children because of UC and the Tyrosinemia is giving me even more reason not to have any.

NCOT, so sorry you are dealing with the stomach thing. This disease truly sucks, no one has a clue unless they live with it.

As for the bananas, I finally asked a guy at a nursery where I bought mine about eating them. He said they are plantains & that they have to be cooked before eating. I never picked any to try, lol. I have seen them in the produce section at stores. They reproduce more trees each year & I gave a lot of them to neighbors to plant. Not all of them put on bananas, you never know if they will produce or not. I had one grouping that one tree had them every year. They put on a thick long stem with flowers that turns into bananas. The wasps love these flowers because they are sticky & I assume sweet.

After so many years of age the bases would be anywhere from 10-12 inches in diameter. They take a lot of water. I always cut them down in the fall & waited to see what happened in the spring. After many years of having them my husband decided they needed to be dug up & hired some guy to dig them up. I was livid, he did this while I was gone one day. He said its a lot of work cutting them down!!
I was the one that cut them down & would drag them to the curb for pickup. I still get aggravated over that one. I put a lot of time & effort into growing them.

Thats terrible about the girl that met up with everyone. Perhaps she should eat at home & then have a drink only. I can't imagine what it is like for her. But, I guess we all adapt to whatever we are living with.

I am glad that your car checked out ok. I dread going in for an oil change every time. I go to the dealership for oil changes & the type of oil I use it's cheaper using them because I can print a coupon. Well, they do their check & give me a list of preventive maintenance. I have to pick & choose which ones I can do very carefully because of the costs involved. I keep my vehicles a very long time too.

I had to laugh about the falling asleep early. I go to bed long before 11:00. However, I also wake up very early between 4-6. It makes for a long day & being older adds to the mix. I use to operate on little sleep but not anymore.

Not much happening this weekend for me. Husband is down at the lake. I was planning to go down for the weekend, didn't work out. Its always something.

:p

:/

From what you described, you live in an "ideal" world, a truly developed country, as you have access to top quality heath care at minimal costs. If you were in the United States, life would be much difficult. First, you probably do not qualify for Social Security benefits, because it needs 10 years (or 40 quarters) of work. Even if you qualify for SS, the amount would not be that much. Second, since you do not have a child living with you, you would not qualify for other social benefits such as food stamps, free public housing, etc.

That's the biggest worry to me and maybe some other people who have Crohn's. Once we lose our job, we may not be able to afford health care, food and housing, etc. In the worst case scenario, we may end up in a homeless shelter.

Hi folks.

A week's gone by quickly, I must say - it doesn't feel like a week since I last posted here! I went through a mini relapse last weekend. I started getting depressed and anxious again and unable to stop worrying about things. I don't know what the reason was, it was just several little things getting to me, I think. Falling out with an online acquaintance who I had thought was supportive didn't help, and I was surprisingly angry about that, given I never even learnt his real name. But we'd been speaking via PMs for about a year and he knew I'd been in a psychiatric hospital. He got all weird when he discovered I'd had a couple of pints of beer - I wish I was joking but I'm not. Should have been a massive red flag right there, but I tried explaining things calmly to him. At first he wanted to talk more via email but things didn't get that far, because he then had another hissy fit and removed me from his friends list. I sent a reply (which I'm not sure if he got) telling him in no uncertain terms how immature he was.

So that happened last weekend. I was low for other reasons too - feeling lonely and empty, missing my mum (despite everything). On Monday I went to Lindengate as usual, but I was still depressed afterwards and by the evening I was crying and feeling suicidal. Ended up talking to my Canadian chum until 3am (thanks F27 >.>). The next day I had an appointment with my support worker, which was good timing - so I told her about what had happened. We also went over my PIP claim. She is going to try and get advice from a benefits expert - she wasn't sure if the guy specialised in PIP or ESA, so obviously I am hoping it is PIP :/

On Wednesday I tried a new group at Lindengate, a women's only group which concentrated on arts and craft. It was hideously awkward at first, and I thought it was shaping up to be a disaster. But I went for a walkabout around the site and that helped calm me down. After that, things were okay and by the end I felt a lot more positive about it. I'll go next Wednesday if I can - this week was just a 'taster' session that I was invited along to. I'm still waiting for the funding to go through, so if it hasn't arrived by next Wednesday I dunno if I'll be able to go.

Yesterday was a bit of a downer. Not as bad as Monday but the sleep deprivation caught up with me and once again I felt low and empty. I felt on the periphery of everyone else's lives and missing a 'significant other' in my own life. I took a sleeping pill and whilst I did not get good quality sleep, at least I slept.

So yeah, that's been my week in a nutshell. Oh, and regarding Costa Rica: I had a panic attack about that too >.> Talked about my fears with Poppie; her reply was really helpful, so thanks Poppie :p

NCOT, depression is much like crohns, about time we think we may be on a bit of an upswing, it can rear its ugly head. Try not to let it pull you down because you have made improvements. As for the guy with the attitude, thats the problem with online stuff, we never really know the people. I wouldn't give him a second thought. I know someone that use to come to HW & joined another forum. She was befriended by someone strictly online, exactly as you described this guy, turns out he was a troll. Took a year for it all to come to a showdown. I get it missing your mom, you have had a hell of a week, hopefully this week will be better.

Have you scoped out any free grief counseling yet? I hope you can find something. Give Lindengate group a chance. I hear you loud & clear going to something new for the first time. I always remind myself most of the people there felt the same way when they were trying something new.

I am keeping my fingers crossed your support worker can come through with the additional help. Do you still have any contact with the lady that you talked with after you were released from the hospital? I think it may have been when you were going to the outpatient program for 2 weeks? I was thinking she was going to try to help you with some programs.

It is very cold here again. We just had rain mixed with sleet. I don't think we got enough to make the roads dicey, maybe the bridges. Next week is warm up time, I am ready. I put peanuts out in a feeder yesterday evening late. While it was raining & sleeting a squirrel was on the feeder munching. They crack me up when they fluff out their tails & use it like an umbrella. I love to watch them crack open the hull to get to the nuts inside. I have a regular that I feed. He has a really short tail, he is smart enough to stay out of the wet stuff, lol. Well, the blue jays are screeching, that means they discovered the peanuts, they can wipe out the feeder in 20 minutes. At one point I was going through 50lbs of peanuts a month because of the blue jays eating them all. My regular has me trained now, if I am on the patio he will sit on the fence & just stare at me. The stare means, I am ready to eat so I put him some peanuts in the feeder. They are smarter than we give them credit for, lol.

Time to get busy around here.....

Depression is no easier than crohn's with lots of extreme highs and lows. I'm sure there will be setbacks and low points.

Glad you had a good time today! That desert looks amazing!

Can it be true that you are really thinking about visiting Costa Rica? I hope so. I can't think of anyone who more deserves to take a break from a dreary winter and into warmth and sunshine. Get out and feel the sun on your face.

I don't post about it much but I am sure that I am not the only one who has been following you and hoping you feel better. Remember how Carl used to follow your posts and write poetry? (I don't really know but I hope you thought he was cute and that he was not a stalker). I hope it is true that you will be traveling soon. Wishing you the best.

Wow the dessert looks good! No wonder your tummý hurt afterward.

Did you manage a painting class or are yòu still waiting for approval for that.

Afternoon guys. I'm feeling tired after an angry of twittering on Twitter >_>.

@IAC - Thank you. Carl is still around, but he doesn't write poetry anymore. Sadly.

@straydog - The custard one was a creme brulee - it's basically a rich custard with a crunchy caramelised topping. My taste buds haven't changed, apart from having a saltier tooth than I used to, so I add salt to things I never would have done in the past. But I still like sweet things and eat just as much as them as I ever did. So, not super healthy >_>

I'm only 5'0" and dread the thought of getting even shorter, but I suppose it will happen one day :-/

@Poppie - I'm still waiting for approval to attend the painting group. However I seem to have my second day at Lindengate now, so I'll be going there tomorrow (I went yesterday). The Wednesday group is more arts and craft than gardening, but if I really want to do gardening I can - they're very easy going about what you do (and don't do).

@nssg - I didn't have sedation for my first flex sig. I did for my second sig and it honestly didn't seem much less, if any, painful than the first one. Plus I was bleeding a lot afterwards. As for colonoscopies most of them were painless for me, but the last couple were quite uncomfortable - and during one of them I woke up near the end in agony and begged for more sedation. Think they gave me some but it was still agony. Luckily it was nearly over by that point.

I'm sorry to hear you've been depressed as well but hope you're feeling better now. The thing about surgery is, it will get rid of the UC and any UC-related depression. But if you're depressed for reasons other than UC and being ill, surgery won't change that. In fact for me illness was masking a lot of my depression, so when I had my first surgery I was unpleasantly surprised to find out how depressed I was! (Although I do think that was complicated by other factors too, such as horrible drug withdrawals and a severely dysfunctional family). At any rate it is hard and looking at the big picture tends to bring me down too.

Re Costa Rica.

I've been talking to Poppie and we agreed that it would probably be better if I waited until next year. We're gonna stay in touch and I still really want to go. But I would like to be in a better place first, mentally, physically and financially. The last one is the most important one, as I am scheduled to be switched over to a new benefit called Universal Credit (or, more accurately, Universal Discredit) in September this year. I don't want to go on it - nobody does - but there won't be a choice. Despite numerous issues, the government is accelerating the rollout. Long story short I will have to go through a few weeks without any income coming in. Yes, I can take out "advance payments" to tide me over, but those are loans which have to be paid back.

Even when I get the benefit I dunno if the amount will change, how part time work will impact that, etc. For example, I'd like to get a part-time job to earn a bit of extra money, but if working part time means I get my benefit cut, then there's no point. I've decided it's more important to keep my savings set aside for this, sadly. Although I will try to go away at least once over the summer - probs camping, 'cos campsites are by far the cheapest.

I do still have Costa Rica at the back of my mind though. And America/Canada if any of you guys want to see me >_>.

NCOT, the creme brulee I could not think of the name!! We have a cajun restaurant here that serves heavenly desserts. They bring out a tray with the desserts so you can see what you are getting before ordering something. Their creme brulee is great. We try to go out there a couple times a year to eat, usually on a birthday. We eat at Mexican food restaurants & one of their desserts is flan, it is a custard, pretty tasty.

I think you are wise to get yourself & finances in a better place before the trip. Nothing worse than trying to go off & know you have to pinch pennies to make it happen. A trip should be fun & worry free as possible. Regardless, this can still be a goal to make the trip.

Oh boy, I sure hope this new benefit works out. Is there any way of looking online to get more information about it before it becomes effective? Stuff like this is just scary.

Keep us posted.

Hey folks. I've been keeping myself fairly busy up until today. Went to the arts and crafts group at Lindengate yesterday and saw my support worker today - the latter was not an unqualified success :-/ We were meant to be sorting out my PIP appeal; she had said she would try to speak to a PIP expert but if she did it wasn't obvious. She told me that that she'd spoken to a couple of people and that they apparently thought I wouldn't win because I didn't have any physical disabilities. I got really annoyed at that point, not least because I wasn't claiming I couldn't walk or move about.

A row and then her (or me) stalking off was only just avoided. She gets like this; she takes something really personally and then walks out. Ffs, it wasn't like I was screaming my head off at her or swearing. She's in the mental health field but doesn't seem to understand anything about depression, let alone autism. I felt humiliated and if I hadn't had an opportunity to send a few whinging texts to my friend while she was on the phone, I might not have been able to calm down enough to carry on with the session as normal.

To be fair to her she did do the miserable job of phoning up the DWP on my behalf for me. It took at least 3 phone calls to establish that, no, I wasn't getting PIP despite what the letter (and a guy over the phone) said. Little progress was made except to establish that I should carry on with the appeal instead of beginning a new claim - I've been waiting for a date for the appeal since October.

So yeah, that was all a bit stressful. I went to the cafe afterwards to get a cup of tea and try and chill out a bit. That didn't happen either 'cos I got a phone call from a woman from the day hospital who has since left and been grounded by her parents and had her credit card removed - I won't give her age but she is an adult. I would normally run a million miles away from something like this, and almost did, but then I started to worry about her physical safety and texted her :/ Fortunately she was still alive but yeah, this is a crazily dysfunctional situation that I'm really not at all equipped to handle. Anyway, the situation doesn't appear to have changed drastically, other than the husband making threats of physical harm - but he hasn't hit her (yet). All I could really do was encourage her to call the police straight away if the husband did hit her and tell her that the situation she is in isn't normal or right. (I think she knows that anyway, which is an encouraging sign of her having her own mind and one day escaping from her mad controlling family - I hope.)

Sorry folks, that was a bit longer than I meant it to be. Anyway, apart from being utterly braindead, I am okay.

@Poppie - Money worries are the hardest for me to deal with; I hate the idea of getting into debt - I panic at it. If I do win the PIP appeal then it should be backdated until the time it was stopped - that alone would give me a nice lump sum. I wouldn't be rich but it would certainly cover a trip to Costa Rica! I also don't feel as bad about it as I would normally do because I despise everything the Tories have done to the poor over the last 7 years in the name of 'austerity'. Not only wasn't it financially necessary, much of it was needlessly pointless and cruel, but I'm getting off track.... :-/

@straydog - That cajun restaurant sounds awesome. I absolutely would go there if I had a chance - and pay the price the next day <_<.

I have tried looking online, but only briefly: so far I've been a bit head-in-sand over it all. Unfortunately brief searches aren't enough to give me the info I want, so I'm gonna have to go more in-depth and perhaps even ask on a specialist forum.

@Paul - Good gosh, no. The Tories begrudge having to spend any money on their own citizens, let alone ones from abroad. Despite the massive fearmongering about "health tourists" in the right wing press over the past few years, it really is a virtually negligible issue.

Here is a detailed analysis if you are interested: /www.channel4.com/news/factcheck/factcheck-health-tourism-cost-nhs-billions

tl;dr version - the "health tourists" are mostly retired, older UK expats.