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crohn's and a low sex drive

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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 11/19/2007 12:43 AM (GMT 0)
I've noticed that since i've been diagnosed and been on medication that my sex drive is a lot lower than before.  I don't really have any problems right now except some tenderness where my fistula was and some bloating.  Does anyone have this problem and if you are married how do you cope?
Posted 11/19/2007 1:42 AM (GMT 0)
I don't know about the other members, but when you're in pain and someone wants to be messing around in the area where lots of
our pain originates, it's just not going to happen. As far as coping, I'm fine (smile) I'm 56 and in my mind I've had my time, BUT I
don't think my husband agrees. He's 50 and it seems still in his prime. However last year he had a repair done of a prolapsed rectum,
not pretty!! Since then he has a greater understanding.
It's no longer "I have a headache" but more "my butt hurts" he gets the message....
Posted 11/19/2007 2:56 AM (GMT 0)
I think having sex, especially when you are married should be about "making love' and it's really hard when you don't feel well. Try just cuddling on those days, but also sometimes you don't think you're in the mood and then you realize that you are. You just have to keep sharing your feelings the best you can. Hopefully, you'll go into remission and feel more your old self. I don't know the sexual side effects of your meds...maybe someone else in this forum or your doc can help with that. For me, I think sometimes it's the pain, sometimes just exhaustion, and sometimes it's just my mood. I'm sure it is much harder being 27. (I'm 48...it's easier for us "old ladies" to say no, I think. ) Be kind and patient with yourself and good luck.
Posted 11/19/2007 3:24 AM (GMT 0)
My husband is very patient and always understanding when I'm not feeling up to par.  But when
I am, it's really great because he will always be sensitive to how I'm feeling and if anything is causing me pain.  The night before I had surgery we knew it was going to be a LONG time before we could ever make love and it was so emotional (but a TAD bit painful too :( for me but wonderful at the same time to have our last re-connect for a while in that way.  Otherwise, if too much time passes where I'm unable to engage we work around ways to re-connect and have been quite creative.  I know others that haven't had understanding partners and that really stinks.  Hopefully yours is and you can work through things until you are on the mend.  It will come back, hang in there!  And you never know, once you start to move in that direction, you may surprise yourself.  Although in our situations, it's quite difficult to feel sexy sometimes!

Posted 11/19/2007 4:24 AM (GMT 0)
Get creative! For me it's the dang prednisone that causes me the most trouble. It's hard to be in the mood and my response time takes a lot longer. Also, rough & tumble is out of the question anymore as it was in the younger days. I try to be sensitive to his needs whether I am feeling up to par or not. My husband tends to get whiny if I let him go too long. He was that way before the CD dx. I admit sometimes it's just to get him to shut up! He is for the most part supportive and understanding and has never been too assertive at anytime in our marriage if I didn't want too. So far it's been a great 26 years, 2 years with all kinds of CD complications & surgeries. He says he loves me even more so now! You have to communicate your feelings and leave the door wide open to "hear" his concerns, likes and dislikes. Helping your partner understand what works for you and what doesn't will make it easier for both of you. Above all else...be honest! Believe me, if I can do it with a nephrostomy bag dangling from a tube inserted in my kidney to a urine bag attached to my leg....there is hope! Yeah, it's hard to feel sexy....but confidence is very attractive!
Posted 11/19/2007 4:30 AM (GMT 0)
I'm 23 and I hate having these problems. I'm not married yet, but my girlfriend takes it pretty well. She is...very driven sometimes. I hate it but sometimes I kind of act like I don't get the message. Lately we have begun talking about the problems. I really think it's my meds, as I was diagnosed well over a year ago and some of these problems just started surfacing. I had surgery in September and since then I have had very little sex drive. I mean I want it, I want to be close to her, I just don't have the strength. At least that's what it feels like to me. I think the best thing to do is to talk to your partner. It's hard for people who haven't experienced any of this to understand, but do your best to describe it. It's hard to feel "sexy" after spending an hour in the bathroom being in some terrible pain.
Posted 11/19/2007 6:24 AM (GMT 0)
i couldnt relate more.
im just 24 and my boyfriend and i recently broke up. he was always so understanding and knew me before my most major surgery (resection) which had really changed the way i feeel about myself. i have a large midline scar and it really disfigured the shape of my stomach. its hard to want someone to touch you if you dont even want to look at your own body.
anyways. now that we've broken up, which may or may not have been because i really pushed hiim away, im afraid to start dating again. its hard to meet someone and you dont want to tell them right away about all your problems, but then again its such a big part of my life i dont know how someone could get to know me without knowing about it.
its much scarier now that im in the dating world. but we'll just see i guess.
its hard because it makes me want to go back to my ex just because of the comfort level, but then there were all the other problems and reasons why we broke up.
so confusing.
as if your 20s arent hard enough without thie disease.
Posted 11/19/2007 9:25 PM (GMT 0)
thanks everyone. This is just so hard. I'm afraid that maybe he will get tired of being understanding after a while. I think for me it's mostly being exhausted. After taking care of 4 kids (3 of our own and my sister) and on top of that just feeling downright crappy most of the time....I'm so so so tired. I start remicade tomorrow...I have hope i'll regain some energy.
Posted 11/19/2007 10:42 PM (GMT 0)
Chrissy27,
Good luck with the remicade. I don't know why, but when I was on it it seemed to zap some of my energy and kind of made me feel crappy. It could have just been the Chron's Gloom, but I think a lot of it was the Remicade. On top of everything you have to do it can be a handful. It helped me to take someone to keep me company during my session. And take a book with you! I think you can have it done at home, but I went to a clinic to do it.
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