I assure you that NO ONE is better when they drink or are drunk!!!
From one who gets "high" just being around friends and having a good time I can tell you that each drink creates subtle changes whether you are a "happy drunk" or a "nasty drunk".
And frankly, when you get to the point that you think you are REALLY good - you are obnoxious and offensive. You slur your words, are clumsy and ... you get the drift.
We know from reading your posts here that you are a good person w/a pretty good outlook on life and a pretty good sense of humor. You most definitely do not need booze to make you better or a better person.
Just be you. The "right" one will come along in due time.
Meantime, coffee grounds "ain't" good, my dear. No maybes about it. Tell your doctor(s).
(((hugs)))