For those of you with children

Good thinking Gumby. My dad was in the hospital for a bleeding ulcer once and another time for a hernia. My parents didn't let me visit him (I was very young) because they thought all the wires would scare me. The unknown scared me more and I thought he was dying too. Your idea is a great one.

As the daughter of a CDer and a CDer myself I have to agree fully. Because my Mom was always very open about what was going on, I was not all that intimidated or thrown by my own diagnosis. Because there is a huge chance that one or both of my daughters will inherit this DD I have followed my Mother's example (At least 4' possibly 5 family members with IBD). I have always tried to explain things in terms that they could handle and that were appropriate for their age. I have never made it a "big" deal. It is something that I have to deal with, just like everyone else in the world has something that they have to deal with. I have made sure they are aware that CD, if managed properly, can be kept under control and will not severely impact my life expectancy. When they get upset that I have to be in the hospital, I tell them it is what I have to do to take care of myself so that I can be there for them in the long run.

Hi Amanda,
At five years old, kids want their parents to be all-powerful, and are focused on themselves and their own needs. That is exactly how they should be. She is old enough to understand that mom's body works differently than hers, and so you need to eat different kinds of food in order to feel well. Try bringing your own snacks or food when you go to McDonalds, so you don't feel deprived, and so your daughter does understand that everyone needs to eat. Long before I had my Crohn's diagnosis, I realized that I could not tolerate any fast food. ( I thought I was just " getting old" as the reason I couldn't eat it!) My two kids were both in travel soccer, and we often had to stop for fast food along the way. I learned back then that having my own food really helped. I rememer when my kids were young, ( they are 18 and 14 now) I always perceived my son as older than he was because I compared him to my younger daughter. Remember that Kirstiana is only five....there are limits to what you can explain....what she needs most is re-assurance, a sense of safety and love. Hope this helps.

I have a 4 yr old. I take him out to eat often, I eat what I can or not at all when we go out. He never asks why i don't eat at the restaurant, but if he did, I'd tell him I already ate, or that this is a treat for him. I certainly wouldn't say oh mommy has a boo boo in her tummy and if I eat what you're eating I'll get really sick. No way will I burden him with worries about me or guilt about me not being able to eat with him sometimes.

I don't mention to my child that I feel sick very often, I keep it to myself or complain to my husband or other grown ups.

I'd like to do more with my son, but I do what I can and he never asks me about my many toilet trips or why he can't sit on me or touch my tummy. I suppose once he starts asking me about it, I'll tell him the truth and NOT make a big deal about it because I don't want to burden him. He's a child and shouldn't have to worry about mommy being sick all the time.

If, at some point, he has concerns or worries about me, I will be quick to quash them. The truth is, we may suffer to the point where it is excruciating, but we will likely be around to see our kids grow up and have kids of their own.

So I have to agree with gumby that at some point we should ask them about it, and then put their fears to rest with lots of reassurance and hope.

Post Edited (Roni) : 1/21/2008 12:24:03 PM (GMT-7)