You may have crohns if

Sniper said:

"If you pray the pastor is quick when he says , " let us have a moment of silence. "

Hehe. Thanks, Sniper. I needed that!

I.

Nothing helped me either with the D all the narcotics did was make pain tolerable.......


Sniper.....OMG you and others are gonna have ppl coming to lock me up for my laughing out loud so much when reading these

(prolly howie and Cait eh LOL)

Take care..........More pleaseeeeeeee

you know how many flushes you need to do without looking......when having a *good* day with few BMs you prepare for nighttime accidents....you know exactly how long it takes you for a sbft....you can chug barium sending most x-ray personel into shock

You start contemplating the practical uses of some of the erotic toys in those naughy shops... particularly the one that ends in "plug" and wonder if it would get you through a few exams lol.

Dragonfly - re reading, me too!!! And they're really hefty, scholarly tomes too. I'm reading Shakespeare in the loo at the moment. It's not exactly respectful to read the great classics there, but it's a good way of getting through books I'd never read otherwise .

You know you have Crohn's when:

Your underwear develops mysterios holes after you have passed gas! ( I swear this is true!)

You are the last one to use the portable toilet-EVER.!

People stare at you coming of of the restroom at the college football game!

You can deduce by the underwear stains what is bleeding & how deeply in ( This I also have done!)!

Matthew
Fitzky,
I have a couple good pairs, we can wear jeans. They slow it down quite a bit. Besides I'm more or less in remission now ( knocking on wood!) so it isn't a serious problem at present. Phew!!!

Ivy - knock wood, and thanking God, I don't have that problem at the moment. But in the past I would have considered it. I have been lucky to only have 2 accidents both at home, but like Sarita, have been a garden hose in the past when any form of cork or plug would have been appreciated.

And the new one of the night comes from my IBS husband:
Fitzy - why did you buy dark blue sheets, don't they show more bodily fluids?
Hubby - its better than white sheets
Fitzy - "oblivious" wouldn't white sheets be better?
Hubby - but the blue sheets don't show the butt streaks.
Fitzy - "incredulous" I DONT LEAVE BUTT STREAKS!!
Hubby - "but I do."

Ewwwwwww I am going to have to start washing our sheets way more often.

Oh my god! I just found this forum and I'm so glad I did. I got diagnosed w/CD 2 days before my 17th birthday, I'm about to turn 29 next month, and for all the people who say "Oh ya, I know someone with Crohn's" I've never met people with it. You guys gave me a laugh with this thread, thanks so much! On days when it feels like a baby alien is going to pop out of my stomach because I just could resist 1 measeley buffelo wing, or the mornings I'm late to work because I missed the train while sitting on a toilet and sure the boss doesn't say anything but you know he has to be wondering "Again this week!?", I'm glad I found a place I can vent and get a laugh!

How 'bout..
You might be a Crohnie if...your doctor pulls out the Physician's Desk Reference EVERY time you go in for an office visit and mutters "I know I had this on a test one time" while flipping thru the pages

Hi Orchid . . . welcome to the forum!! Make sure to start a new topic and introduce yourself so some of the others can say hello!! I am brand new to Crohn's . . . just dx'd a couple weeks now. Blessings!

You know you have CD when you go into ER and you have to tell the doctor, you absolutely know what your diagnosis is and what tests they need to run, and what medications they need to give you. I've been there so many times the doctor's actually appreciate all the information.

*snort* Stop it, Sniper! That's just too funny

Ivy6, really, that thing could hurt someone. I have seen people get hit by a champagne cork. Just think of what that plug would do. Maybe go through the wall and hit the person in the next apartment. What a shock. Can you see this poor guy sitting on the sofa watching the hockey game when suddenly he get knocked silly by what he thinks is a very smelly hockey puck. Then when he regains his senses he will be chasing his wife around with this plug shouting,,LUCYYYYY, You got some splannin to do...

You know you are a crohnie if...

you carry concentrated bathroom spray with you ~ you mess your pants bending over to pick something up ~ you know where all of the bathrooms are in the stores you use and you don't shop in the stores that don't have a public bathroom ~ you pass gas and look disgustingly at the person next to you ~your dog starts growling when your stomach is gurgling loudly

Sherrine