my mom is dying and I'm in a flare!

oh gumby i so feel for you! lots of hugs love!!!!!
god bless!!!!

Gumby,

I will definitely keep you and your family in prayer. I think you should go, though I do understand how hard it can be traveling while sick. I know you are completely miserable being constipated but I think it will be harder on you and your fam by you not going. Just take everything you think you will need and things to make you as comfy as possible. You just don't want to have any regrets. Good Luck and please keep us informed! God Bless!

-Emma

My hopes and prayers are with you and your family now and in the days to come..

don't have anything to add...just wanted to let you know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. *hugs*

I am so very sorry. (((HUGS))) I know I became quite ill with my first what I consider real flare, when my Grandma died. We were very close. Then my Mom moved out of state like a month later. Big events like that really shake up our health. So I just wanted to tell you to please take care of yourself too. If you get on the plane even, make sure and take care of you.

Wishing your family all the best, and your Mom is in my thoughts and prayers.

Oh, gumby. Here are even more hugs. What a horrible situation you're in.

I've been through this situation myself and have just gone through a series of grief support groups, and one common theme from the discussions there was how much harder it is to cope with the grieving process if you can't be there for the last stages of the person's life. I wish the very best for your mother and I truly hope that the end is further away than you think, but I think that, if the worst happens, you will be pleased that you were there, with your family.

*However*, you can only do what you're physically capable of doing. My mother's oncologist gave me some very good advice, and I'll share it with you: you cannot predict when someone will die, and you must not, *must* not, blame yourself if you cannot be there. Your family will know how unwell you are and how desperate you are to be there -- but your mother will not want you to put yourself in danger to get there. If you can't get there, please don't feel that you've let yourself, your family or your mother down. You've loved her your entire life; nothing you do in these final stages can change that.

I wonder if this whole situation might be easier for you if the decision can be taken out of your hands. Is there any way you could get in touch with your gi, explain the situation, and ask for an assessment of whether you're able to travel? Then, if he gives you the all-clear, you could discuss strategies to cope with your illness while you're away from home. And, if he says you can't travel, you'll know that it was a medical decision, and not something you should feel guilty about.

I'm so sorry, gumby. This sort of situation is a chronically-ill person's nightmare, and I'm so sad that you have to experience it.

*hug*

Ivy.

(((Gumby))) Sending big hugs and prayers your way.

I think Ivy's suggestion about talking to your doctor is great. Also, ask for an anti-anxiety med to aid in your travels. Obviously you will be anxious about your health if you do go and the anti-anxiety makes it more bareable. Also, it will lesson the normal stress one experiences during air travel. You will also want to call the airline directly to book. Tell them it is a medical emergency, family emergency, etc. Sometimes they will give discounts and they will get you on the soonest flight out. I have no experience with constipation but I would say look on the bright side, at least you won't have D in flight. But I have survived many a flight with D and I bet you could survive a flight with C too. When I am trying to debate going to work I usually tell myself I can be in pain and miserable at home or be in pain and miserable at work and get paid for it. Well if you are going to be in pain at home you might as well be in pain in a hotel room near your mom, right? To get through the flight I suggest getting some of those instant heating pads they sell for menstral cramps and use one of those on your belly. You could also wear a pad or an adult diaper to catch any mucus that you can't control. Tell the airline to seat you near the bathroom and then that is one less worry. I bet you can do this and will feel a lot better once you get there than you will at home. And if you don't feel better when you get there just take care of yourself in your hotel room. You were worried about being a burden. I don't think you would be a burden if you had your own place at all.

Gumby I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I pray you can find a way to go be with her. As for the C, have you tried Miralax or maybe even one of the C-scope preps to get things moving? I use stool softners daily when I have C to get things moving again.

Good luck and know you and your family are in my prayers.

Gumby, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I just wanted to let you know your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
I just lost my mom in December, and I really miss her, but I also know she's not suffering any more. I was able to be there with her at the end, and I know in my heart that it was her time. I hope you too can make the journey to be there with your mom, but the advise that Ivy and others gave is very good if it turns out you can't be. Your mother knows you love her and would be there if you could. Speak to your doctor, to see if you're well enough to travel.

<<<<<<<HUGS>>>>>>>

Bev

Hi Maybe a short course of pred. would help. I do know of someone who had the surgery and has done good. Of course your Mom is probably much older. Sure hope things settle down some for you so you can at least be there. lol gail

I'm so sorry too, you sound incredibly brave! lots of hugs from me