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Posted 10/22/2008 12:45 AM (GMT 0)
ok so I am at a loss.
my life is generally good. My crohns is under control; but I feel like I am always waiting for the next flare and in doing so I am creating an anxiety and feeling of being trapped afraid of what might happen. Before I know it I just feel sad....truth is there is no reason to be sad but I can't get out of the funk....

anyone else go through something like this? I feel like I am broken.
Posted 10/22/2008 1:02 AM (GMT 0)
Well, knowing something's wrong and asking people for advice is a really good start, formedstool. You've done a good, and brave, thing in coming here today. Well done.

You talk about feeling "trapped" and I'd be interested to hear more about what that means for you. Are you able to get out at all and be with people, or is that hard for you? Do you have hobbies and interests you enjoy, or is nothing fun anymore? What is your sleep like? And do you feel that these concerns play over and over again in your mind, and that you can't escape them?

I really am glad you've come here to talk to us.

Ivy.
Posted 10/22/2008 3:22 AM (GMT 0)
I go through the same thing and definitely feel broken constantly. In fact, I've been crying all day today and simply staring off into space. I think it's inevitable that we go through these days and the best thing to do is to let it run its course, make sure there is someone you can talk to(always welcome here), and do something, anything however big or small, that you enjoy or that will help alleviate the low mood. I'm sorry you feel this way..I know it really does seem hopeless sometimes, but hang in there and feel free to vent here. It's pretty therapeutic actually.
Posted 10/22/2008 3:29 AM (GMT 0)
Aww BIG (((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))) you guys, this DD is so overwhelming, even when you feel good you live in fear, it's so sickening, I hate this DD and the suffering, physically and emotionally that it puts us through.

I can tell you from my experiance, when feeling well enough to start exercising regularly it helped tons with my depression and anxiety...maybe try that, especially if you feel physically up to it, I know it helps me tons and I still do it, plan on continuing for the rest of my life.

:)
Posted 10/22/2008 3:34 AM (GMT 0)
It happens to me too.....I tend to withdraw from people and I realize I need to get out there or else I will go into a deeper funk.
Posted 10/22/2008 4:48 AM (GMT 0)
yes... I feel that way too.  I've been in a funk for awhile now and it sucks! It's like I don't know how to live without having "Crohn's issues"....does that make sense? 

I don't know what to say to help you out as I would be doing it for myself! tongue

You're in my thoughts!

Posted 10/22/2008 12:05 PM (GMT 0)
Many Chronic Ill ppl have issues with anxiety......
Depression and panic
It is hard to live with a disease for anyone IMHO

I have constant anxiety and am working on it with Cognitive Behavioual Therapy
It is doing alot of good for me

I do hope you will seek some outside help as well as stay with us here as we DO know what you are going thru

LYN
Posted 10/22/2008 1:21 PM (GMT 0)
eyes  I spend about half my time wondering if I can do the things I have promised I will do, or know I must do, and most of the other half of my time certain that I can't, completely overwhelmed by my inability to do things. I know how, I know what...I just don't have the energy. And my gut hurts, not to mention other places ! shocked And this is after more than twenty years of being ill.

In between these two states of whelmdom, I have a thin sliver of feeling great and kicking *** . I think it's just part of being chronically ill, formedstooler, but it is noticeable that depression is a biochemical part of what this disease does to you - it screws up your body's ability to make neurotransmitters like serotonin, which is created in the gut.

So you may be like me and find that there are antidepressants that not only make you feel better emotionally, but also help turn down the heat in your gut. yeah (Prozac just stopped working on me for that after several very good years. I am currently back on the "try this one" treadmill.)

We all get like you are feeling - it's part of where you are at.  nono But your ability to cope will improve.

Posted 10/22/2008 2:30 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there...

I've done a couple of things with good luck... 1 - I'm on an antidepressant (especially in the winter... winter makes all my junk worse) and 2 been going to a behavioral psychologist (at the pain clinic) and he has been helping with biofeedback and relaxation - and reflecting on why I take on too much... he's just helped me re-organize my life a little bit... every day I take an hour or so to chill... (that happens about 75% of the time)

I can tell when my funks are coming on and try in some ways to head them off at the pass... (get on anti depressants again, get a massage, try to walk,etc) but it is very common to have anxiety & depression with these diseases.

Good luck, hang in there...
Posted 10/22/2008 2:46 PM (GMT 0)
If you go to the anxiety/panic forum and go to Resources you will find the links to CBT Relaxation and Breathing Techniques
At top of page with wenx name I believe at end

YOU are aslo welcome to check out the forum
too see if anything helps you at all...........LYN
Posted 10/22/2008 3:01 PM (GMT 0)
Yes we all go into a sort of, I dont want to play anymore, sort of feeling. There has been some good advice given here. There are meds, therapy, and other ways of coping. If this mood is not just a normal bad mood, if it stays too long, talk to your doctor. There is nothing wrong with getting some help..
Posted 10/24/2008 1:09 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone...seriously I felt like I must be the only one that feels this way sometime.

I did go to the doc....he gave me xanax and prosac (for around my cycle). I will try this....

My job is just so intense right now with long hours and no room to have a "bad" day. The more stressed I get the more my CD tries to bug me...I think the constant pain even if it is bearable wears you down after awhile.

All of the worrying about how I am going to feel that day has worn me down but I am feeling better today.....I am so glad I found this site.

I will keep everyone posted.,,,
Posted 10/24/2008 4:09 AM (GMT 0)

i sure can relate to the anxiety,depression all that comes with this dumb disease.  I went down to rochester minnesota a couple of times due to this disease.  And i found out that disease is not all that bad compared to some of those kids i seen down there.   So how i keep my sanity is keep on telling myself it could be worse and live my life one day at a time.  Have faith in my higher power whom i choose to be god.  yeah

Posted 10/24/2008 11:12 AM (GMT 0)
I like what Sniper wrote "I don't want to play anymore  feeling"!  That is exactly how I feel sometimes.  Like I'm fed up "playing" in this scenario called life.  Of course I don't feel like that so often, certainly not every day, but when my Crohns is acting up, and I have my chldren yelling, and I have a house that needs cleaning, a dog that needs to be walked, and a job that is so demanding.....then yes, I feel I don't want to play anymore.  Just want to be in bed all the time.  I'm actually going through this these last few days, not so bad, but not doing good either. 

When I feel like that but still have the urge to do certain things I like, like playing my piano or reading a good book, I know I'm not too bad.  If I don't feel like doing anything, I know I'm bad.

How do I cope?  I take an antidipressant, call my sister who is always there to listen to me, and hope that these days will be over soon...

Christina

Posted 10/24/2008 1:41 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Try to do something that makes you feel good a facial , doing the nails, hair do, going out for a drive or whatever helps you relax and enjoy lfe. lol gail
Posted 10/24/2008 5:35 PM (GMT 0)
i am in the middle of the worst depression that i have ever had. it all seems so hopeless. i have been waithing for my md to come back from out of the country to adjust my meds. i cry all the time and dread the phone ringing. i am also taking pain meds for the horrible pains that i get from this disease- sometimes i think that makes it worse but i seem to have no alternative. this is so hard
Posted 10/24/2008 7:42 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Guys,

I always think back to the intro of this site, "Living with chronic illness builds courage", and that statement is so true. I think that what happens with this illness (or so I am learning) is that it is always on your mind. If not in a flare, the meds are on your mind, when in a falre,the really bad pains, when making a meal you need to think everything through first. Therefore, you cannot get away from it. It is always there and that is going to cause depression on its own. However, I was speaking with my father earlier today and he said to me "what does a doctor tell you when he prescribes you a course of anti-bitotics" and me being me I said don't drink when taking them (lol). He then replied " nope - don't finish the course early"!Excellent point I thought. At some stage in life, everyone walking this planet faces medical issues, but why let them kill you off?

I understand about the depression and the fear, as I go throught it myself. However, I release that there is alot for me to fight this DD for. My family, me friends and Myself. Why let an illness take the greatest gift of all from you? The gift of life and the love that we feel in life. When I feel depressed about this DD, I always think of people that are worse of than me, and find the courage from the strangth that they show in their own battles.

Sorry for the ramble.
Posted 10/28/2008 2:33 PM (GMT 0)
I know exactly how you feel and appreciate Sniper's "I don't want to play anymore" comment... I couldn't have said it better. I try to find things to do that I enjoy, like knitting or watching a movie, when I feel really down, or I call my sister and talk it out. She has an unspecified condition similar to lupus, so she understands the bad days. But even then there are days when nothing will do but to just walk through the dark tunnel one step at a time... those are always the times when I think in worst-case scenarios. They come and go and I just keep going a day at a time. That's all we can do, really. Glad to see you here and that we can help each other.
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