I spend about
half my time wondering if I can do the things I have promised I will do, or know I must do, and most of the other half of my time certain that I can't, completely overwhelmed by my inability to do things. I know how, I know what...I just don't have the energy. And my gut hurts, not to mention other places !
And this is after more than twenty years of being ill.
In between these two states of whelmdom, I have a thin sliver of feeling great and kicking *** . I think it's just part of being chronically ill, formedstooler, but it is noticeable that depression is a biochemical part of what this disease does to you - it screws up your body's ability to make neurotransmitters like serotonin, which is created in the gut.
So you may be like me and find that there are antidepressants that not only make you feel better emotionally, but also help turn down the heat in your gut. (Prozac just stopped working on me for that after several very good years. I am currently back on the "try this one" treadmill.)
We all get like you are feeling - it's part of where you are at. But your ability to cope will improve.