Passing gas.

Once upon a time I had no trouble telling if I was going to pass gas or if I needed to find a rest room. Some where along the way the part of my anatomy that samples whats leaving ceased to function. Now whenever there is pressure its a guessing game as to what to do. Do I chance it or find a rest room. Either way its a crap shoot. So, how do I get the old gas detector working again ? I would like to be sure before I run around like a crazy person ,,find a restroom,, run to the toilet only to go ,Phhhhhhhht. What a let down, but not near as bad as finding out that what you thought was going to go Phhhhhhhhhht went ,,splat instead. Its just like work . Always being made miserable by some B hole that doesn't do his job.

I think what you're describing Sniper is just part of the nature of the beast...once you get an IBD you can never trust a fart again, just another of the many cruel jokes this disease plays on us.

:)

Sniper, I'm never sure anymore either!!!!!

You need to get yourself a fistula!     I can't hold in gas anymore because of this darn fistula.  Out it comes all on its own!     So it is easy to tell whether it is gas or something more.  Maybe go to the fistula store and get yourself one. 

I've only been diagnosed very recently, but I really feel your pain!

I dont know if having a fistula is all that much fun ,but can you sneak a real stinker out on a crowded elevator just as you are steping out on your floor. I use to like to leave them gasping for air like fish out of water. Guess I have limited days now where I have such A hole control. I only chance the thunder bumper kind when I am home. This keeps them from having to announce, " Clean up on isle six " over the PA system at Wally World. Very embarrassing. But I do miss leaving a real stinker on the scented candle isle. Very few people buy candles after that , but now and then one will pick up several and sniff them trying to find out which one is ,,Oh de Toilet. Dropping one off while passing through a crowded isle of shoppers and then watching from another isle was always fun for me. The effect is great. To get an idea how this works, get a glass or a bowl and fill it half up with water. Now shake pepper on the water. The pepper represents the people in the store. Now drop 1 drop of dish washing soap in the water and wham,,thats what the people do in the store. Try this and let me know what you think...

Sniper --

I just had to laugh by your phrase "crap shoot"!! That's exactly how I feel about it. I have the same problem and am always tempted to scrawl on the stall what I read a long time ago -- "Here I sit, all broken hearted, came to **** but only farted."

lol. I call it "drawing mud". It almost happendd yesterday at work. I fart all the time, but every once in awhile -- my "old friend Crohn's' just has to remind me that he will NOT be ignored.

I'm glad I found this site. People understand C and me!

I used to jokingly say that my "separator" was broken only I didn't think it was really all that funny. A poem...
Here I sit all broken hearted, ran to crap but only farted
So I thought I'd take a chance, tried to fart and crapped my pants. anonymous

fallcolors! oh i beg to differ! my abdominal fistula was the noisiest thing in the world. and could shoot gas or liquid like a fire hose.. i could be in an elevator and the fistula would let loose. people would stare at my stomach and say gee are ya hungry or what? or more likely *** was that? and both could go at the same time and often did!

Now you see, thats where we differ. I like to be in control. If I'm going to stink up the joint ,I want to know when I'm going to stick up the joint. My gas, my terms. You know snipers or sneaky that way. The pop off valve could be nice in some ways but couldn't you like put a cork in it until you wanted to say , pop a good one. I know this could be dangerous unless carefully monitored. You wouldn't want to be explaining why you were speeding to an officer and go,,PoP,,you could get shot, or worse locked up for concealing a lethal bio weapon. A WMD per say, weapon of mass diarrhea. You know I just figured out something that has baffled historians for years. I think this may have been why Napoleon always had his hand in his jacket. He was keeping his finger in a fistula. "Hey Josy,,pulls my fingar, no ?"" POP"" !!!! cest une surprise pour vous,,,, chez, I poop le costume ..."""" Qui, Napoleon est malade !!! "

Malade means Sick,,,VV did I spell that right ???

Sniper your stories have brought back funny memories of my parents and their farts. My Mom was the silent but deadly dropper, and my Dad was the thunder clapper. My mom let one rip in the meat dept and the lady next to her commented "Geez this meat dept stinks", my dad walking down another isle, looked to the right, saw no one, looked to the left, saw no one, let it rip just as someone came around the corner:)

And me with my Crohns seems to have inherited both their fart "traits"!!! Hahaha!

Thanks for the laughs!!!

Hi Randy,

I looked at your pictures once and don't care to again, thank you very much. Eeeeeeekkk!!! What you have been through!! At least that fistula is gone!! Sounded like one for the text books -- actually you are one for the text books!! The graduate level class!

Take care!