Do you feel like a Martian?

When I am out in public like at the grocery store or with friends at a casino I feel like I stand out. I weigh 140lbs and am slightly bent over because of arthritis in my back. Sometimes I limp because of arthritis in my knees or feet. When I look around it seems like everyone looks so healthy and over weight. It really makes me self conscious. I feel like a Martian sometimes.  I'm also single now and I have been for over a year. The women that once smiled and flirted with me now hold a door open for me. I used to be the life of the party. I'm still happy inside and I like who I am but there is no doubt that people treat me differently now that I've lost weight and don't have a skip in my step.  I want so much to meet someone new to spend time with but I feel like I don't have a chance in hell because of my appearence. I grew up being told that women just want a nice guy. That may be true but I've learned that he must be rapped in a pretty package too. When and if my Crohn's goes back into remission and I get back in shape, I will never feel the same about the values people put on others. Don't get me wrong, I've never been mistreated or made fun of at all. People are very kind in that respect but now that I've been on both sides of the "good looks" fence I"ve learned something profound about the "skin deep" philosophy. Thanks for giving me a place to bare my soul. Tony

I understand exactly where you are coming from. I too feel so unattractive, and guys don't even look at me anymore because I've lost all of my body for the most part.  When I was fuller, I used to get attention from guys, but now, I haven't been asked on a date in a year and half. Guys don't even look at me. But if they are all that vein, then they aren't for me anyway, and I'm better off without them.  If all that people want are looks, then what happens when they fade? Maybe were are better off, and when we DO find someone (we will, I have hope) it will be for real, not superficial.  We are beautiful, you and everyone out there. We are all different and that's what makes us special.  Nice guys are the most important, and you seem very nice and will meet the right person when the time is right. Just don't give up hope, believe that it will happen and it will. And yes, I too wear very unattractive clothes because of the swelling tummy, and huge pants because I hate them! But its just clothes, it's what's on the inside that really counts. I think if we love ourselves and remain confident, others will see that and be drawn to it.

Intermittently I do. For example, when I am on higher doses of prednisone and my face is really round, but everything else is extremely thin. I've been called really cute because of it, but I know that it looks odd...
OR when everything else is deathly thing but my stomach looks pregnant because of a partial blockage and/or the prednisone.
I know that this disease greatly exacerbates dark circles and the disappearance of any distinct jawline as well.
It also makes my voice get really deep sometimes while very high others, and I know this has caught some people off guard...

I guess it's just a multitude of small things, but sometimes they are all at the same time and I have felt so unattractive and undesirable..wondering things often like 'who on earth could ever want someone like me?' It doesn't help that I was born with with what looks like anonychia on my left foot so I can't ever take my socks off around people and they have commented on it. Since when is it illegal to be wearing something on your feet?..

In the end though, I feel like we're still our own worst enemy when it comes to things like this.

I was 100 pounds in October and everyone was talking about how sick I was looking :S I was also pale as a ghost.

Now I am 140 pounds, and looking better but now I have this ugly moonface and no one knows who I am anymore :(
It's like I am not me anymore, really weird feeling..

I am so happy to have my hubby and he is not going anywhere(I hope). I could not be dating looking like I look, I know I am just shallow and that the personality is the thing that matters.

I dated a guy with Crohn's who was really skinny and had a cute moonface but I feel like it is different now, because now it is me that has the moonface :S

So what I am trying to say it is all in our heads ;)
Some are fat some are skinny. You just have to be happy the way you are.

Good luck ;)

Right now, during this hard time in my life, I make it "all about me". My true friends and family are there and who cares what anyone else thinks? Here is the difference - I am 5'7. I have lost 30 pounds since November. Not willingly mind you. So I weigh 113. The girls at work that look like Barbies all say" You look great!" "How are you doing it?" The normal people say, "you've lost too much weight". "Are you okay"? What a messed up world sometimes.