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Do your friends vanish after you tell them you have CD?

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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 10/12/2009 11:53 PM (GMT 0)
People around me seem to vanish after I tell them something is wrong with me. When I tell normal people about CD, they get scared. When I was in the hospital, the mom of a patient with CD was scared/shocked when I was telling the doctors that I had blood in my BMs. Her son had it worse, too. He averaged a flare a year.
Posted 10/13/2009 12:05 AM (GMT 0)
I wish I only had one flare per year. Most people I'm guessing don't even know what it is, but most have a little sympathy for me when I tell them what the disease does.
Posted 10/13/2009 4:35 PM (GMT 0)
Its like if its not cancer, people dont understand or sympathize. People suck. I've lost friends too.... People suck.
Posted 10/13/2009 4:51 PM (GMT 0)
I've lost friends as well. Or if they do stick around they never mention it and I cant talk to them about it. Sometimes you just want to talk to someone and your friends arent there. They think its contageous or something. I know exactly what you mean.
Posted 10/13/2009 4:56 PM (GMT 0)
Hi i have been really lucky with friends for support also workmates who i thought wouldn't be interested  in what was going on with me, this past year they all rallied round and gave me a voucher for a spa day!! as well as looking out for me at work. As for my personal friends who know everything are brilliant, really supportive and nothing fazes them. i don't know what i'd do without them. Bev x  

Posted 10/13/2009 5:00 PM (GMT 0)
I have lost a lot of friends after becoming sick. I used to be the 'trophy' friend of sorts, pretty and popular, smart and engaging (still all of those except popular!), but making people uncomfortable is just something we do. The upside is that it shows us who our real friends are. It's depressing at first to be able to count the number of true friends on one hand, but who wants to be surrounded by a large group of people who never cared about you in the first place?
Right now I have my fiance, a friend on the other side of the country, two a few hours from here, and lately a friend of my brother's who helped me through my latest procedure. That is what I've gotten up to in the past year and a half. I get depressed sometimes, but it makes me realize how much I love them.
Posted 10/13/2009 5:55 PM (GMT 0)
I think there is a factor of wearing people out. Sometime people just have so much crap going in their own lives and so there is a bit of burn out.
Posted 10/13/2009 7:03 PM (GMT 0)
I would agree with MMMNAVY, I have been quite calm, cool, and relaxed with having Crohn's which I have found relaxes those around me. Even after my 2 week hospital stint, I found that the less of an alarmist I was and humorous about the disease, the better my friends and people around me feel. I am a full time grad student and have registered with disability services and have a formal letter to give to my profs and work. I promise it will get better if we are aware of how we respond to the disease!
Posted 10/13/2009 7:36 PM (GMT 0)
I consider myself lucky. I have lots of good friends , most Ive have been friends with for more than 10 years. Generally they are very supportive and come to see me at home when I am unwell and will ring me regualrly. I see them less when im in flare obviously because I cant cope with going out. However, I try to make up for it when Im am ok. For those who go out of their way for me I do the same back when they need me. I try to laugh about my illness & not moan too much. I dont want friends to get fed up of illness talk.
Posted 10/14/2009 12:30 AM (GMT 0)
It looks like anyone healthy who hears about any disease does not want to be around people with a disease. I have another disease and I told 2 people about how I should not eat certain types of foods, and they both looked like they suddenly were deeply depressed. Not planning on telling anyone else, except if they are much older than me. They do not seem to mind.
Posted 10/14/2009 1:23 AM (GMT 0)
If I repaint their walls after using their bathroom, it is usually a 50/50 chance I will keep them as friends.
Posted 10/14/2009 2:25 AM (GMT 0)
I am lucky with friends and Family, I have actually banned everyone from asking how I feel because then I get 20 calls a day and get sick of saying "same as always".
Posted 10/14/2009 8:48 PM (GMT 0)
it seems as i get older, now in 40's. more people are having bowl problems that are in my circle of friends. every once in a while i get a "oh my gosh i didn't have any idea this is what you were going thru".
Posted 10/14/2009 11:10 PM (GMT 0)
I guess I have been fortunate and really haven't had the problems of losing friends. My friends are all pretty understanding. There are definitely those ones that I can talk to about my issues, and the ones that I don't really mention anything to. My best friend has MS, so we really have a special bond. I don't know what I'd do with out her! I have found that crohn's does make my dating life harder. Since apparently its still taboo for a girl to fart and poop.... men don't seem to like the idea of this disease.
Posted 10/15/2009 1:03 PM (GMT 0)
I feel like if your friends go away because you have crohns, they were not your friends to begin with. However, I dont beat them to death with the facts. Some peeps just cant take that. When asked how I am doing, I just say Im hanging in there and I have bad and good days. I keep the gory details for this site where people understand...
Posted 10/15/2009 1:05 PM (GMT 0)
By the way, my best friend calls me most every morning. His first words are usually, Hows your butt?? then we plan what we are going to do after that.
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