X-mass shoping with crohns

Tough job , but you have to do it, even after all the procrastinating . So you go and about 20 minutes after you have some lunch your butt sends that urgent message to your brain. Warning , 2 minutes until critical mass,, explosion eminent !!!! Of course the restroom is on the third floor so you scurry through the store looking for the fastest rout,, UP. This is when all the slowest people block the isles. You know the ones , so wrapped up in what they are looking at that their ears shut off. Its , excuse me , excuse me,,,EXCUSE ME !!!!!I dont understand why there are always those two people that stand back to back and stare at opposite shelves , but you make it to the escalator somehow . Thinking you could run up the steps were there not the whole defensive line of the Green Bay Packers blocking you, you stand there , cheeks clinched , saying to your self,,," Go baby,,Go ,,Faster ,,Go Faster." . You know what, the escalator is a cold hearted thing . By the time you reach the third floor, you have to lean on something and grit your teeth clinching as hard as you can yet still trying not to attract attention. The last thing you want is for someone to ask if your OK. Then you would have to change that contorted look on your face into a hal**** smile and lie. " Ohhhhh,, I'm uhhhh, mmmmmm, FINE...Yea right. Finally theres the restroom sign,,written in three languages but not a clue of what direction to take, so there you go weaving in and out of the ladies lingerie displays like you know what your looking for. Then ,,there it is,,,the goal line,,Ohhhhhhhh Boy . You rush in ,,please be an empty stall, please be clean, I dont care if your clean , just be empty..One quick check,,Paper, we have Paper!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, made it.((( Phaaaaat))). Wahhhhhhhhhh? Thats ittttttttt ? There has to be more than that. It felt like a battleship was on the way . So there you sit wondering if your done or is there something else lurking, just waiting for you to get back down stairs. So you do the paper work, wash your hands ,,nice and clean, grab that filthy germ laden door handle,, the one that always opens , IN. Whats up with that ? Make your way back down,, no one in the way at this time, and just as you find the item you had when the alarm went off,,,,,,,,,,,,,Yep,,,, you guessed it....

LOL Sniper aint it the truth....many an almost blow out meself ..i very well imagine what ppl are doing or mouthing outside the potty door i am occupying ... i am sure i have taken away many a persons appetite in my time......just where DO you come up with these lfantastic idears for posting ...i know i know..personal experience eh..see i am a smart cookie after all......happy shopping all n butt cheeks tight..luvs lyn

I swear everytime I go shopping, no matter what time of year, this happens to me. I took a quick break at work the other day to go by some Christmas cards, these weren't the boxed kinds, I was looking for personal cards for those closest to me. I had them all in hand, and then started feeling that familiar cramping. Decided its time to head back to the office, of course there was a long line, I didn't want to put all the cards back and make a run for it, so I waited. Thankfully another register opened and I was able to get out of the store quickly. Then of course I had to walk the equivalent of about 1 1/2 blocks back to the office, while clenching my teeth HARD. Then the elevator took forever to come down, then I work on the 18th floor, so I had to wait for a few people to get off onto their floor, then FINALLY I hit my floor. Ran to the bathroom, praying the whole time no one was in there, luckily for me no one was, and as you said Sniper............Phaaattttt, and then awwwww.

I can't believe how good I have gotten at holding it:)

Nanners..me thinks it comes with practice and i AM THINKING we should have our own special category in olympics..what ya think Sniper I know you can very well come up with something for us..luvs lyn

Boy I've been there! Only I think I've made it to the goal line only to find it's a dressing room, not a BATHROOM!

Just did that today, but the restroom was in layaway. Probably should be layaway til your pain subsides, but then we would be laid up!!

sniper et-al; the reason the bathrooms are on the 3 rd floor and all the way in the back is so you wont use them. simple. if they can deter 50% of users they dont have to fix damage as much, supply all the paper products etc... plus and i think the real reason is the video tape all the people clenching butts and doing the squirt scoot on the way there and play 'em at the xmas party!

Rando,,,the voice of reason...Next question. Why do the doors always open in where you have to handle that filthy , germy handle after washing up ?

I've actually asked for the manager of the local Office Depot and thanked him for having clean bathrooms that I always feel comfortable using in an emergency. I've explained that I have a chronic disease--and told him that, once I'm in the store, I wind up buying something half the time anyway. He was really pleased to be complimented.

It's simple...bathrooms were NOT designed by people who understand how much a clean, well designed bathroom can mean to a person. They are designed by people who have their 1 BM at home, and only go in a time or two each day to empty their bladders. Oh, and they also are the same people who don't care if they pick up germs on the handle when leaving because THEY have fabulous immune systems and never catch all the crap everyone else does.