I have already forgotten what it's like to have a normal life. After a while this DD becomes a norm and you carry on living taking it a day at a time. I'm sorry you feel bad about
it because it's here to stay, however, it's not always that bad. One of my friends has had CD since 1982 and after a successful surgery in 1986 she's been in remission all the time.
Once you're down to 20mg you should start noticing improvements. Try not to worry too much, and I know it's hard to come to terms with the diagnosis, but CD is not a life sentence and you'll soon learn how to live with it. Think about
other worse conditions that people have suffered from over the ages (MS, MND) and how lucky we are to have all the knowledge and technology of our times that has made it possible for us to live relatively good lives...
Take care