tips for surviving the holiday period

Don't have a very big family as both my mother and father passed away so is just me, husband and my step mum. Obviously have hubby parents and family so we visit my step mum early in December to swop presents and have lunch/day together as she goes to her family at Xmas for grandchildren. Then we spend day with hubby parents/family weekend before Xmas and do present swop there as well and see our godchild and present swop there as well and we have Xmas day on our own. It is a lovely peaceful day where we get to spend relaxed time together as we work opposite hours and so don't see each other much. Most weekends in December as spent meeting up with friends and Xmas parties and so this year Xmas Eve we are going out for a meal then onto Midnight Mass at church we got married and we cook gammon joint on Xmas Eve and so next day we have it cold with salad, cheesese, pate etc and just pick all day on snacks (neither very into turkey) and have our next door neighbours over in the evening for drinks/chat/games of Wii.

This is our recipe to a relaxed holiday time when we have time to relax and unwind and means family time doesn't have that added pressure that seems to build up when people are thrown together. Think sometimes we all expect it to be perfect and just upset and frustrated when it isn't and that can cause problems for those with CD and such like. Enjoy the time with family and friends for what it is and take time out if things get fraught.

When I was growing up I wished I had a huge family like you see on the adverts and had a huge gathering at Xmas but it is funny how many people now say they wish they had chance to spend Xmas Day with just their immediate family as it seems to cause so much stress which is a huge shame.

Great post Ivy, really worth reviving for this year!

My number one advice is put yourself and your needs first. If you aren't up to going some where or doing something really take time to consider if you'd be better off not going. I've ticked off my MIL several times on Christmas Eve because of this. Especially since I have two grand kids now to play with on Christmas day, if I'm tired or not feeling well on Christmas Eve I stay home and rest. It's not the most popular decision with others, but it's best for me.

Another tip mentioned on the radio last night:

If accepting an invitation and you know it's going to be either physically or emotionally difficult for you to be there, set a time limit on your attendance when you accept the invitation. In other words, "yes! I'd love to come! How kind of you to ask. Unfortunately, I'm not feeling too well (or have another commitment) so will only be able to stay two hours, so I'll have to leave by one pm, is that all right?"

That way, you're not trapped, and everyone will be forewarned and accepting when you leave.

Hope this helps.

Ivy.