Anxiety, finding a balance, dealing with the holidays

It is really common to have the symptoms that you are talking about after your infusion. I have had around 90 infusion and had flu like and achy symptoms after every one. They usually last about 3-4 days and then subside. The achiness can be pretty painful and I have pain medication that I use for it. Some infusions are worse than others and they have been a lot less severe since my doc started pre medicating me with cortisteroids and benedryl I.V. each infusion. I also am premedicated with zofran i.v. each infusion to help with the nausea after the infusion.
Please know that you feelings of depression and anxiety are also very normal. You are battling an extremely difficult and sometimes embarassing disease and it takes a toll on the toughest of people. If you did not feel depressed from time to time, I would be more worried. If it is getting to a point that you can not handle, many people choose to talk to a counselor about it. I have never talked to a counselor myself, but I do use this forum as a great way of venting and relating to others that know from experience what I am feeling. Do not stop living because you have Crohn's disease but also do not feel bad if you can not make it to parties or activities because of Crohn's disease. I had to cancel a trip down to my sister in law's home for a Christmas night because I can't make the 1 1/2 hour drive despite my wife being willing to drive. That is only 1 1/2 hours away and I can understand why the 14 hour car ride would scare you. Have you looked into flying there? I just saw that southwest is doing a ton of $59 flights across the country and that is not much more expensive than gas. If it is all just too much, just let your friend and sister know how much you love them and would love to spend the holdidays with them but just are not physically able to right now. I am sure that they will be a little be sad or disappointed but that does not mean that they will love you any less. True friends accept us at our best and at our worst. Please do try to not spend the holidays alone if posslbe because it is always good for your emotional state to be around others you love.

So sorry you are feeling rotten after the remicaide infusion. I've not had to get those. However, I totally understand how you feel about the holidays, the bathroom issues and depression. It sucks being sick over the holidays and that happened to me two and three years ago.

Do what you need to do to feel better Sarah and don't worry about anyone else!!!! Take care of Sarah first and the rest will fall into place. The thought of a 14 hour drive would send me into a depression even when I am well. I hate traveling, especially for the holidays. I told my hubby this year, I am done with it and putting my foot down about that.

I hope you feel better though so you can enjoy yourself. Thoughts and prayers for you to feel better!

Thanks everyone! It's a relief to talk about this. I'm really horrible about just sucking it up, and keeping things to myself. It takes a lot to get through the work day, and it's exhausting to think that I'd have to suck it up while on vacation. And I also hate having to back out of things because I feel sick. I put too much pressure on myself!!

I think being around people I don't know is the worst for me. It can be a challenge for me even when I'm feeling well, but right now it practically induces a panic attack! I tell so few people about my Crohn's, and if I'm not feeling well I won't want to have to deal with privacy. And now that I think about it, sometimes when I travel I spend way more time in the bathroom. Flying especially seems to upset my intestines, but I think the stress of traveling and change just makes it hard.

I have some celebrex my GI gave me when my knees started hurting on the humira a couple of months ago, and right now it takes the edge off, but not really enough. I wasn't in pain last week when I saw my GI, and while I really like him, it can be tough to get help via the nurses/phone. I keep hoping it will settle down, and I probably shouldn't have even been at work the last two days so who knows if I'm just aggravating things.

Anyway--thanks for the encouragement and understanding. My ex was horrible about not understanding if I wanted to back out of something, and so was just miserable. I have a couple of friends that I've been sharing more about how I feel and they are understanding when I say I can't do whatever we'd planned. It's just a lot harder cancelling a trip than to cancel dinner!

Sarah