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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 4/19/2011 10:22 PM (GMT 0)
Tell me, how is one suppose to feel romantic/atractive when you feel like crap all the time?
How is bleeding out of your butt,or major bloating make one feel "in the mood?"

How does loosing your hair, constant gas make you "want to be with the one you love?"

I am sure you get the idea, but I have an ass of a husband that doesn't seem to understand. I am beside myself right now, and when we "talk" about what is going on( or lack of) he doesn't get it. Sorry but there is more to life than "it". I just want to pack up and leave everything behind and just go. I am so upset, i don't know where to go, who to turn to.

Posted 4/19/2011 10:44 PM (GMT 0)
I understand where your coming from. My guy just doesnt get it either really. If he has a cold its a major ordeal but when im sick its like suck it up. I went to the dr today because I am not feeling good. turns out I have strep throat and the dr asked me if I was working today (work at the facility in the business office) and I told him yes. He asked if I felt lousy and I told him I did but im used to feeling lousy and I try to function. He told me I was going to run myself into the ground.
Things will get better!!
Posted 4/20/2011 12:40 AM (GMT 0)
I am sorry to hear this. I am very lucky to have a great husband who understands. We haven't been intimate in months but he never pressures me, he gets things for me, visits me everyday at the hospital, and is even known to go to Doctor's appointments with me. I don't know if I could be with someone different that doesn't understand. I hope your family supports you.
Posted 4/20/2011 4:31 AM (GMT 0)
Its just so fustrating. I understand he is wanting to be close, but i just can't. The thought of anything or anyone near my belly, or lower half makes me cringe. It hurts to even breath deeply at times. I cry when i think about everything going on..
Posted 4/20/2011 7:26 AM (GMT 0)
Men think of it differently. To us, gas is just gas. Bodily functions aren't all that gross. And for us, getting in the mood happens automatically. I don't claim to know your husband, but I doubt he's being a jerk on purpose. I suspect that when he looks at you, all he sees is the woman he loves. We generally don't take anything else into account.

And anyway, there are things you can do that don't involve your lower half, if you want to keep him occupied. Maybe if you mess around a little, you'll find yourself in the mood?

I hope my thoughts help. If I offend, I am sorry.
Posted 4/20/2011 1:54 PM (GMT 0)
I have to agree with Bane. There are other things you can do to satisfy your husband. I know how you feel, it is hard, but for all that my hubby does for me, sometimes I feel I have to find a way to make him happy too. Hugs!
Posted 4/20/2011 2:22 PM (GMT 0)
no offence taken Bane. :) Sure there are things that we can do..but usually that leads to him wanting more than just "that" and I can't go there yet. UG!! I go see the Dr. today for another scope so maybe she'll have some answers for me. I know that anti depressants can lower the drive( which low and behold I am on as well) Thanks all. I feel better know there is someone to "talk" to when things seem to be going all wrong. (hugs to all of you!!)
Posted 4/20/2011 4:51 PM (GMT 0)
I have a friend who brought me a bag of books last week to cheer me up... well as sick as I feel I have been reading and READING those books. They are compilations of short stories about "it" from a more feminine perspective... lets just say it is helping me... and my hubbie is loving my recent addicition to reading and the results of said reading ;)

Just some thoughts... best of luck with the scope today :)

B
Posted 4/20/2011 9:54 PM (GMT 0)
OMG, I know exactly how you feel, I have had those times through my 11 years with Crohns. It is so hard to be intimate when you feel like crap!!! ALot of times they just don't really understand how bad we feel, or they think we are making up excuses to not have to do it. I have been through it all!!!
I am also on anti-depressants and ues, that can lower your sex drive, but the disease can make you so depressed, i know all too well.
Try and hang in there, once you are diagnosed and get on the proper meds, it will get better!!!
Posted 4/21/2011 5:58 AM (GMT 0)
Becktoria, can I get a list of the bag of books for my wife? jk Things will get better in that area once you start getting your disease under control. Be honest with your husband about the situation and make sure that he knows that the reason you are not in the mood is the disease and not him. We guys have ego problems and rejection makes that really bad. If he still does not get it or understand, your disease is not the issue in your marriage and marriage counseling would be a good idea.
Posted 4/25/2011 9:15 PM (GMT 0)
I feel so badly for you! Of course I understand how you feel about sex. It sure isn't something that you can feel good about when you're sick. I'm sorry your husband isn't being very understanding about it. I do have a husband that is very good about the whole thing ,but I still don't feel like it very often. But, I force myself to get started, and after that things just get better. I struggle to keep negative thoughts out of my mind, but it is worth it! Guys are not the only ones that "need" intimacy. I always feel so much better, and closer to my husband afterwards. Just ask him to be gentle with you, and let nature take it's course!
Posted 4/26/2011 12:47 PM (GMT 0)
I had this problem but it was prior to my diagnosis. He would always tell me not to obsess over it, just relax and stop stressing. So I tried that and it didn't solve my stomach problems and made me a little bitter. Now that I have my diagnosis he is more than understanding, and actually feels really bad about those days he didn't take me seriously. Make sure your husband knows the reasons why you aren't interested in being intimate, and ask him to put himself in your position and see if he felt like having sex. He'd probably say no. As far as the antidepressant, I am on wellbutrin and it is known to maintain your sex drive or sometimes increase it.
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