wow- that sounds amazing being so far away from everything (unless you're dealing with something like this *&^%^ disease!)
i was having those same symptoms for the longest time- i was actually puking on the can almost every time i had to go #2 it hurt so bad. over the past year it's come and gone...i've gotten on pain meds which have helped a lot, but my crohn's has definitely been much worse in the past year or so. we're talking surgery now so we'll see.
i would have to basically hold my gut (put a lot of pressure on it) while i was sitting on the can to try to mitigate the pain. they gave me bentyl but that didn't really work and made me feel all spacey. is your gut painful all day? mine is and when i have to go to the br the pain gets much much worse. the pain meds are good as long as i keep them in my system bc who knows the next time i'll have to go so i can't exactly time the meds. i was thinking stricture or something but they scanned etc and said nope- just "normal" inflammation. mine has never really resoled itself.
i wish i could be more help- i guess just wanted to tell you you're not alone...i'm dealing with what sounds to be something very similar.