I did the gluten free & lactose free diet for almost 3 months and didn't see any change in my symptoms so I went back to a normal diet. Well, that of course is normal for me, which is a low fiber/low residue diet. I was never really able to tolerate a high fiber diet and like you, I often lean towards constipation. My solution is just to take a mild laxative/stool softener when I need it. I also keeps lots of immodium around just in case too.
My GI just recommended that I get the book "Breaking The Viscious Cycle" and try that diet, which is called Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD). I've flipped through the book but don't really think that I can pull off the diet. It's a no grain, no starch and no sugar diet and I just don't think I can give all that up permanently. If I do give it a try, it won't be until after the Holidays.
Although I doubt it will work for me, you might consider giving this a try. This diet has been widely reported to be beneficial for people with all types of Autism, including Asperger’s. So, this diet might well benefit your children too.
There are blood tests which can help determine if you have celiac or are gluten sensitive. You can also have an upper endoscopy and have bbiopsies done to determine if yo have celiac.
As far as meds go, we all need to be on them. However we each benefit from a different medication regimen and you will have to work with your GI to figure out what benefits you the most. When first diagnosed, many of us begin with some dose of sterids because that is the quickest acting medication to reduce inflammation and help heal ulceration. However, prednisone is not without side effects that many of us can't tolerate. Entocort is a sterid which has less side effects because it's release in the bowel as a type of topical steroid and has less systemic side effects.
Beyond sterids, there are 2 schools of thought where meds are concerned. The first is "bottom up". With this method, we start at the lowest level of med and work our way up if those meds prove ineffective. This starts with 5ASAs, aspirin-like meds such as Pentasa, Asacol and Colazol. Then we move up to immune suppressants such as immuran, Remicade, humira, etc.
The second school of thought is "top down" where we are started on the stronger immune supressants right away.
It sounds like your GI is just not sure what to do to help you and I think getting another opinion is in order. Leaving Crohn's untreated is like waiting for a time bomb to go off. IMHO, Crohn's is a disease that never really goes away, it only goes into remission. That said, using meds to get us into remission is the goal. Although some believe meds can be stopped while in remission, I believe we need the meds to help keep us there too. Of course, we all need to find what is right for us in all aspects of this didease - from meds - to diet - to lifestyle.
I hope you find what's right for you soon.