Scared about my future

Hi everyone,
I'm so tired lately that even sitting at the computer drains me. My husband is super supportive, but he doesn't truly understand, and can be a bit too worried (any sound I make sets him into a panic).
I am set up for a surgery for Friday (June 29th, 2012). It was originally to reverse the ileostomy that was put in on March 9th. But my pain is so severe still, that the surgeon thinks I have more adhesion's. He's the only of my doctors I trust, since my PCP, GI, Urologist, and internalist all keep saying it's a UTI causing the pain, even though the urinalysis always comes back negative! One week I had FIVE urinalysis' done! The last one the hospitalist said that it was positive (another doctor, but this time it was because I said that I wanted to be hospitalized where my pain could be managed until they found SOMETHING), but I later found out it wasn't positive for a UTI, but E-Coli! How the heck did she get those mixed up?? Or did she lie to me? Anyway! (Trying to not yell) The surgeon thinks it is more adhesion's, and he says that if he needs to fix too many of those, I won't get the reversal yet. I'm scared about the outcome of the surgery. I'm also scared of him finding something more, since he found 18 abscesses (three that would have killed me if I had listened to my GI doctor and not done the surgery, but that was a rant on a different day), more infected area than the GI doc said, a whole/tunnel between my lower intestine and bladder, and much more, last surgery, even though my GI said I "had a mild case of Crohn's, there was no reason for the pain, and I should do the Remicade treatment".
I went on before about how I don't trust my doctors, and why....unfortunately with my type of insurance, I can't switch to another doctor. All I want is to be normal and healthy again. I went for dinner at my sister's yesterday, and had to call her ahead of time to find out what she was making, to see if I should bring my own food. It's all new since January and none of my siblings are used to my new dietary restrictions as a CD patient, ileostomy holder (we should get some sort of medal for putting up with it!), and my increased reaction to onions (used to cause D, and gas, but as of this flare-up, it causes excruciating pain (I've given birth naturally and I would rather do that again), vomiting, and I have to go to urgent care to get it straightened out). And then there's that voice in my head....the voice that tells me that if the ileostomy is reversed, I will get the CD infection and ulcers again right away....that I will never be free of it....I hate that voice!
Wish me luck for Friday. I'll let you know how it turns out ASAP. I may even have my dear sister in law (she has come to the Urgent Care and hospital every time I've gone, and it's been a lot recently) post with the conclusion while I'm in recovery.

SingingSuperNurse,
I am actually in school for nursing (I was doing the prerequisites when I was diagnosed, so my goals have been pushed back quite a bit), and it was because of that that I knew I had a right to demand to stay at the hospital until they could tell me what was wrong. I completed my Certified Nursing Assistant course, and a big part of that was patient rights. Also, my SIL that I talked about had done the same thing right before they diagnosed her endomitriosis years ago.
I am hoping that my experiences with the nurses and doctors that I've had will help me to be the best darn nurse I can be! I have had some nurses that I have wanted to physically fight with to get them to realize they need to rethink their treatment of patients. One was right after I had my ileostomy, and I had a leak coming from my bag. She asked me (with an angered tone), "Why is it producing while we're doing this? Can't you control it??" I learned in my CNA class that a stoma producing is INVOLUNTARY! When I told the ileostomy nurse about that, she was disgusted with the other nurse. And told me to never apologize for something I can't control, and to ignore the nurses that treat me badly. But I think remembering those nurses (and doctors) will make me better at my future trade.