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It's all in your head part 2

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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 7/20/2012 12:22 AM (GMT 0)
Hello everyone

 

It's me again I personally want to thank everyone again for your supportive talk and unstanding what I was going through with my wife yes there are 2 sides of every story and I can say what some of what she would say!!

 

And that would be that since he was told about CD he has changed as in attitude out look on life does not want sex as much as he use to and he talks about chrohns and he will be disabled soon and it will be on her shoulders and I know he does not want that but tired of hearing about it more than I want too!!

 

Now here's another problem I have back in May 23,2004 I pulled 5 hernias in 1 place and that place was where I had all those surgeries for chrohns.

So I had the surgery for the repairs on the gut but they could not put it between muscle and intestines due to CD so they put it between the skin and muscle yet to fail with in the week of the surgery i rejected it and the doctor tried to save it but it would not work so he sent me to a hospital in Gainville Florida where they ripped out all the old mesh and put in mesh that was not man made it was grown in thier labs and yes in 3 weeks i rejected it so they ripped that out upon on ripping the mesh out twice they took muscle with it and they just left it out and with a STERN WARNING if you pull another hernia we will do our best to fix you but then the doctor said that he would have not other choice but to fully disable me for life and I would have to wear a gut wrap belt when I am doing any thing other then laying down!

 

Needless to say my wife did not like what she heard and then again when I talk about it or have pain from this she would tell me all I want to do is be disabled either it's the chrohns or its the hernias !!

 

Well need less to say I was having pain and I didn't know if it was the CD or the it was just from having all the surgeries in the past((tissue scaring )) from what the doctors tell me so went to the EMR and the doctor came in and said I am sorry to tell you but you have 2 torn muscles where the repairs had been and they were small and he told me that the hospital where i was told that they was not going to touch me on fixing them there and that i had to go back to Gainsville Florida where they will decide on what to do with you!!

 

And then seen the life,spark,hope leave her face and then I can tell that I would have to be carefull on how I talk about this cause I don't want to be told the same ole song and dance again and again!!

So wish me luck in the years to come and i will post if anything new comes up!!

 

Thanks for reading sorry for the long story but this is how I can release my frustration the best way and that is to write about it!!

 

Thank you and 

Be blessed stay blessed

CD PEOPLE CAN SURVIVE!!!

 

Posted 7/20/2012 2:06 AM (GMT 0)
To be honest, your wife sounds about as sympathetic as my sister-in-law >_>.

Funnily enough, my brother has Crohn's too, but nothing like that. No surgeries, always been able to work full time, help raise two kids etc. And yet she still criticises him every time the poor b****** sits down to watch the football. Just because she never sits down and relaxes, she thinks everyone should be like her: except she doesn't have a chronic illness or disease...

But I think deep down she cares. It hopefully is the same with your wife, even if she expresses it in the worst possible ways.

Best of luck to you both...
Posted 7/20/2012 10:25 AM (GMT 0)
Have you two thought of counseling?
Posted 7/20/2012 5:06 PM (GMT 0)
Wow man. My sympaties.

Marriage can be a rough job for healthy ones, imagine in that situation.

Counseling seem a good idea to me too. Secular or christian alligned counseling may help (I don't know others). The way we show our emotional pains are often hurtfull and disfunctional. To talk about our needs (and hurts) in a appropriate manner is possible, but usually takes trainning and willingness to change. Not easy at all. I have teached people about it, but still find it challenging putting in pratice in my life. Takes a lot of thinking and planning.

Books that helped me:
The Seven Principles for Marriage - John Gottman (Secular)
I Choose US - John Louis (Christian Alligned)

Posted 7/21/2012 1:12 PM (GMT 0)
My husband has Crohn's and we both got to a breaking point with how to deal with his disease. We kept saying, if it weren't for Crohn's, our marraige would be perfect! However, the Crohn's isn't going away so he finally agreed to do some couples counseling. Let me tell you, it helped immensely. Our counselor gave us a lot of insight and provided us with lots of mechanisms to hand the depression, anger, stress, and marraige barriers this disease causes. I highly recommend it!
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