Feeling like I'm doing something wrong when I eat healthy.

I had my second small bowel resection done in May of this year.  For the past 4 years I have been on a low residue/low fiber diet.  I ate only cooked/canned carrots and stringbeans, and white potatoes as my only veggies.  I haven't eaten any type of nut, berry, raw fruit or veggie, salad, or anything of the sort in those 4 years.  I had two strictures that were causing small bowel obstructions every couple of weeks which would land me in the hospital to be observed to make sure it resolved on its own and loaded with steroids. (fun).  So anyway, I got the ok from GI and surgeon to eat pretty much anything I want.  The thing is that everytime I eat some salad or veggie, I get nervous and I feel like I'm doing something bad and that i'm going to end up in the hospital.  It's this engrained fear of healthy food.  Is sounds ridiculous saying this but it's true.  I fear salad, fruits and veggies.  I eat them but immediately wish i haden't afterwards.  So far I'm ok.  No problems which has eased the fear a little but it's kinda like I"m waiting for the fallout.  Severe pains and hospitalization.  It's all I've known for 4 years.  Previously, before the first resection, I was on the low residue/low fiber diet for years as well.  So I hope I can get over this and move on or if it's something that will always stay with me.  I do get pain sometimes after having some veggies and diareah pretty much right away after eating a salad.  Anybody else have a similar experience?

It doesn't sound ridiculous, that I agree with. Eventually, all remaining well, you will overcome your fear, but it's going to take time. It won't be something that will happen in a few days or weeks. Maybe you could make a resolve to eat one fear food per day? You don't want to slip back into avoiding all "healthy" foods again, that would be a shame.

You sound just like me! I was also on a low-fiber/low-residue diet for four years, and I'm also terribly careful about what I eat. And every once in a while, I'll get an almost uncontrollable craving for a big chef's salad or a couple of pieces of raw (but peeled and seeded) fruit. And I'm always sorry afterwards, because they cause all the same symptoms that you have. Vegetables that I used to love, I now get freaked about and am often too skittish too eat--especially the ones that pass through and show up undigested at the other end. I'd rather pick green peas out of my soup than find them all bobbing in the bowl in the bathroom. And I chew my favorite mushrooms really thoroughly, just because it's so gross to see them reappear later. I get upset and angry whenever I read articles about the benefits of healthy eating--because I know that my diet is unhealthy, but it's the only one that seems to keep me in remission. It's all very frustrating, isn't it? Especially if, like me, you could happily consume your own weight in summer fruit. I dream of blueberries, strawberries, and pineapple--and I could peel seedless grapes and eat them, but it just seems too slow and demoralizing. Sigh.

Wow, Bella, the sentence about the fruit and the donut made me laugh out loud, since it sounds EXACTLY like what happens to me! It really helps to know that there's somebody else out there going through exactly what I am. Thanks for posting this--and I'll think about you the next time I'm having "lunch" (i.e., a pretzel or a cupcake) in Barnes & Noble. :)