Hi sparkle,
I like to find that "right time" as soon as possible because it's one thing I want a woman to know about
me right away. Actually I may inform a woman before there is a right time. As an example, dating sites, that is an ideal time before meeting to bring it up. Phone conversation, "listen, before we meet, I have to tell you that I suffer from Crohn's disease." If they're not aware of what it is, I inform them and answer any questions they may have.
This way if it is an issue for a woman, we can immediately go our separate ways. Also, if it is an issue on their behalf that I have Crohn's disease, I don't need to be with that person.
I had been with someone for 17 years, very rarely passed gas in front of her unless I had been in a lot of pain from bloating. Other wise, I'd excuse myself and make use of the bathroom. I did my best not to subject her to foul smells. So her face didn't look like this --->
She had asthma, she was never expected to live beyond 6 months of age. She understood what it was like to have an ailment.
Don't fart in bed!This is a story about
a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor. She was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
about
twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you. "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.
On a far more serious note, "Girl, 16, Fatally Beaten Over Flatulence Jokes"
blogs.findlaw.com/blotter/2012/10/girl-16-fatally-beaten-over-flatulence-jokes.htmlGood luck sparkle, I hope you find that special someone in your life who is understanding and caring.