Update....

Just got out of an 8 day hospital stay on Monday because of a blood clot from the PICC line they put in. I'd only been home from the hospital for about 3-4 days; I'm just worn out. I'm so frustrated because they didn't give me a prescription for the blood thinner or lab orders, even though I'm supposed to take it for 2 months and get blood tests done each week. But then I started having some bloody D after all the IV dilaudid got out of my system. It's stopped being bloody, but I still have about 5 BMs of D before 9a, with cramping and bloating and nausea the whole rest of the day.

I have a PCP appt today - my GI is having them do a stool sample to check for c. diff., parasites, and other stuff. The hematologist finally called me back and told me my dosage for the blood thinners and the name of the blood test so the PCP can prescribe it.

As you guys know, I've had pretty poor care at this local hospital; mistakes have happened a lot, even though it's dr-owned and the highest ranking around until you get to downtown. I also have been having to give out my 6 month old baby to different people in our church congregation to watch, which just breaks my heart. 7 hospitalizations in less than 4 months. My husband and I can't keep doing this.

My husband and I are starting to discuss if maybe we need to move back to Denver and in with my parents for a bit so my mom can help out. That means selling our house and him finding a new job. He loves this job, and we love our house and where we live. But we're really on our own, and we can't keep relying on our church congregation for months.

At what point do you just kind of give in to being sick or stop expecting remission or feeling better anytime soon? (Btw, many of you will be glad to know I've started the process to stop pumping....it'll take a couple of months to get down without risking mastitis, but I've started.) I feel in some ways like we're giving up by thinking about going back to Denver, but in 2012 I was hospitalized 14 times with c. diff, CD, and pancreatitis (caused by mesalamine and imuran). I only got better because I got pregnant and apparently my CD likes pregnancy hormones and I went into remission, but now all of this has blown up because I gave birth and the hormones left my body.

A cold is what led to all of this....it was my 5th time with c. diff. because the cold caused infections, which led to more infections, which led to antibiotics bringing c. diff. and causing an abscess which when it was cut and drained went septic. So at what point do I stop hoping it'll all clear up and go into remission?

Wow, I'm so sorry to hear all that you've been through. I saw a previous post of yours and checked out your blog. I have a 20 month old and can't imagine going through all you have been with your daughter being so young. I'm so sorry you've had all these issues.

I wouldn't look at the decision of moving in with your parents as giving up. I'm blessed to have my husband's family here in town, and they've been immensely helpful with helping out whenever I have really bad flares. Having family as a support is a huge deal, and if it helps to alleviate some stress for you and your husband, I would seriously consider it.

I commend you for nursing through all this. I was blessed with a long remission after I got my pregnancy flare under control and I think the nursing helped. I can't imagine trying to nurse and pump while feeling so terrible. I hope you can find some relief soon. I know it's hard not to give up hope, but keep trying. Have they considered a fecal transplant to help with all your C-diff problems?

Just wanted to add another con to moving in with your parents (although I'm sure it would be a big relief to have your mom around to care for YOU not to mention your daughter). There are a lot of little kids in your family still and they are just walking virus hosts. I think you'll be much more likely to develop colds etc. if you are around your young sibs.