Gumby - how are you doing?

It is so nice of you to check in! I think I'm doing ok! I am struggling with feeling constipated and have needed Miralax every night, but it is a significant change from having D for months on end! I am hopeful that my body is just trying to adjust to the change. I definitely think I beat the c.diff, and if you missed my post, the doc found no active Crohn's so I'm in remission! I'd love to say that I feel terrific, but I'm not quite there yet. Still kind of bloated and stuff, but I'm hopeful!!

The play was fun but also quite the challenge! I had an extremely small part---one walk on role with no lines and another small role with literally 5 lines. The rest of the time I was doing scene changes, props and helping the other actors with costume changes. It kind of felt like a theater internship;-) I learned a lot and I did enjoy it somewhat, but I was struggling with managing the c.diff the whole time, so I would have to starve myself in order to function. My biggest acting role was that no one in the cast/crew knew there was anything wrong. I just kept a big smile on my face and pushed along! If I had known that I still had c.diff I never would have auditioned!

So I'm about to audition on Monday for another show. This time I will only accept a decent part, and if I'm offered another tiny role then I'll find something else to do. It is a huge time commitment. I live in a relatively small town and the theater community is kind of a clique....so I don't know what will happen. But I don't have anything to lose by trying! I'm sure you can relate to this, but I feel like I'm living on "borrowed time." I have this wish to do exciting things while in remission, because I don't know how long it will last. If I don't get into the play, I might go visit my sister in Vegas and soak up some sun!

I know you are struggling right now.....what is the latest??

Happy big #50! Woo hoo! I am so sorry that health issues are getting in the way of you really enjoying life. I think a new project for you like a musical instrument or painting is a great idea. For me, when I'm learning a new skill then at least it takes my mind off the constant discomfort/pain that has been lurking in the background of my life for a few too many years. I am 57, and there is something really nice about being in my 50's. I feel much less self conscious. I guess I just feel too old to worry about what others think of me, so I'm a little more willing to take risks and I feel freer. I'm also over the hump of menopause so my hot flashes and migraines are a thing of the past. My kids are adults now, so there is a freedom with my time, which is also kind of nice. So turning 50 has it's benefits

It is so hard to feel trapped in your job! I'm sorry to hear that. I know you carry the medical benefits which also limits your options. I don't have any great suggestions, but I hope you can work something out there.

Thanks for the encouragement about the theater stuff too! The play I'm auditioning for is Calendar Girls....are you familiar with it? It is based on a true story of middle aged women in Yorkshire who stripped for a calendar to raise money for leukemia. It was also a movie with Helen Mirren. I've worked a little too hard preparing.....I had to teach myself a British accent (which is still marginal at best) and work on the roles. It started as a fun project- my husband helped me and we'd get to laughing so hard at home! But now as I approach the actual audition, I am a little worried I'll be really sad if I don't get in. But I'm already conjuring up alternative ideas....I'm thinking of taking a mindfulness meditation class and/or visiting my sister in Vegas. So, I'm sure life will go on and I'll be fine either way. That's the other thing I've learned from this godawful Crohn's.....life is way too short to get stuck in the details! Thanks again for all your support....you are someone I wish I knew in real life!!

Thanks for the support and I hope you find a job soon. There are two nights of open auditions and then call backs on Wednesday. I made it through the first night last night, but my GI system was quite a mess.....I am strongly hoping it is just stress and not c.diff. But I have been anxious so I think that's it. In this production they are only doing the top half and covering with props, to the nudity is not intimidating me. Over 40 people showed up last night, and I think all the cool, talented actors show up on the second night. I am going both nights since I'm an unknown, so the more I can get an opportunity to read for the parts, the better. I thought I did well, and no matter the outcome, I do feel proud that I did it! I'll let you know how it turns out!

Yay, congratulations!!! :)

Thanks you two!! I feel pretty happy!!!