Ugggghhhhhh (warning, there will be whining!)

Ugh, I am ready to throw in the towel. I got thrush from breastfeeding (well, pumping) again, and just like lasst time, it went into the milk ducts. A month of Diflucan and it just got worse, just like last time. I think I'm resistant. So the infectious disease doc put in a midline (like a picc but only goes to the shoulder) on Monday and I started daily IV micafungin for 2 weeks. Thankfully they're letting me do it from home so I don't have to get a sitter every day. They also put me on blood thinners since this exact same thing last time gave me a blood clot the day after I got home from the hospital with a picc to finish the month of treatments. Lat time was worse bc I didn't realize I had thrush and it made my Crohn's flare and the pred made the thrush explode and go septic.

Anyway, I digress. The doctor kept forgetting to send in the script for the blood thinners (a pill) so I didn't start till last night. I'm paranoid with ever twinge in my arm, lol. Plus it itches like crazy, I think the tagaderm must have latex in it or something. But today is day 4 and my breasts feel worse, not better. Anytime milk starts filling up, I feel like I'm being stabbed with hot pokers repeatedly. Pumping until I'm empty is the only relief, but that only lasts for about 45 min until milk starts coming in again. Not a let down, just milk slowly filling up.

I got a Remicade infusion yesterday, and I just feel so rotten today. I have a migraine and my whole body just aches. My parents are out of town for my sister's wedding reception with her in laws (she got married a couple of wees ago), and my adopted brother is with us today (he's 11). I had to take him to and from hippotherapy (horse riding as therapy) and I had no desire to go anywhere. I thought I was going to pass out picking him up and just prayed we'd get home safely.

The last straw was me starting my period today! It is SO unfair! I am breast feeding and am on the depo provera shot for birth control, and yet I start my period at only 12 weeks post partum?!?! I just want to cry. And my body hurts so bad that the tampon just felt like sandpaper. I gave up after an hour and just used a pad instead, which I despise - I feel like I'm wearing a dirty diaper.

Plus I'm recovering from my husband being away all last week on a business trip. It always weras me out. The last night he was gone, my 2 yo threw up in the middle of the night (overheated from the zoo that day). All over, even on the curtains on the window! Clean up was a nightmare. Poor girl just sobbed, "Oh no, what I do?!" over and over again.

Anyway, tomorrow will be better. My husband watched the kids while he worked and let me sleep all afternoon, so I feel a little more human. I am so grateful he can work from home.

Man, you weren't kidding when you said there would be whining. Sounds like you had a pretty bad go of it for sure

Hope things are better in the days ahead.

Dear god, I would just switch to a bottle - I'm not that noble!

Hope that this bad patch ends ASAP. Btw, I haven't forgotten your email. I'll reply tomorrow, if I'm not too depressed after a Leave victory ;_;

(Seriously, even if Leave win, I'll email.)

Thanks everyone. My arm has started aching about where the line is, which has me debating going to the ER to make sure it's not a clot. That would suck. I just don't want to spend the day in the hospital. There is too much to do.

@gumby, that made me feel better - I've been feeling like a wuss with not handling this pain very well. Glad to know it's not just me thinking it sucks and really hurts.

@ncot, I hope Leave winning didn't depress you too much! :) And if I could afford formula, I would stop pumping for sure.

It is pretty achy still so I am in the ER getting an ultrasound just to be on the safe side. And my breasts feel like they have hot pokers in them, so the IV dilaudid is nice.

Yeah, "Brexit" is all the news in the US can talk about right now ranging from does it help Trump to should it be used as an example for states to secede from the US to how will this affect our economy, etc.?

Oh please, don't even apologize! :) I have been seriously considering it today lol. But I have a tremendous oversupply: I only pump 5 times per day (it's supposed to be 8-12, especially at the beginning), and I get about 70 oz total per day, when Jared only drinks 25-30 oz! I've been freezing all the extra (had to buy a 3rd chest freezer haha!) so maybe I can stop pumping when he's 7 months old or something and still have milk to last until he's 12 months old (which is the earliest they can be put on cow's milk, soy, etc.)

As for cost, it depends on the formula. It's a bit harder for babies to digest than milk, so some babies get lots of gas or colic on it and you have to switch it other kinds. Some of those other kinds can be extremely expensive. The cheaper, generic formula is about $20 per 240 oz of milk (mixed), which would only last about 8 days, making it about $75/month to pay for (which is more than Lizzy's soccer lessons!). The more expensive kinds, however, which I would probably need since Jared has reflux, is $27 for 168 oz, or 5-6 days' worth, which would be $162/month. It just adds up!

Plus, and this is TOTALLY kidding and me just trying to joke and find positive, my disability is up for review next year (I think), so I consider getting sick an investment in getting it renewed or I wouldn't be able to pay my doctor bills!! ;)

I am doing okay. It still doesn't feel like it's getting much better, but I'm wondering if getting a Remi infusion on Wed set it back a bit.

Yes, you could definitely mix it up with breast milk and formula. We actually gave him some this weekend when he decided he was hungry an hour after his previous bottle and I had only brought the one with me while we were out. He had the same problem most kids do - he hated the formula. Even though you can switch, a lot of babies will prefer one or the other. They don't like change all that much!

It seemed to affect America quite a bit, at least from what I've seen. Trump is saying that it's evidence he's going to win against Hilary. The stock market tanked like 600 or 900 points that day (I don't follow it much). And I guess it might affect our trade with Great Britain or something?

Hahaha, "two evil blond toads." That just made my night! :)

Well, one evil blond toad has dropped out out of the race >_>. So blatantly obvious now that he never really wanted Brexit after all, and that he was even more of an evil scheming toad than anyone had given him credit for.

Hope you are okay and that the thrush is better.