That's what the infectious disease nurse told me today. He said he sees people just like me a hundred times a day, that I'm just pessimistic and looking for things to be wrong. (This was in response to going to the ER on Saturday because the PICC line was aching really badly.) It made me cry. On the way home I thought of all the things I could say to him in my defense; I told him there that the times I have blown things off have turned out to be dangerous. I didn't go into detail, but I ignored pancreatitis for a month, chalking it up to Crohn's pain. I ignored an abscess for 24 hours and went septic and almost died. The last time I had a line, I had ZERO symptoms of a clot but still had one anyway.
But he just said that I've had bad things happen so now I just look for the worst in every situation. I've actually kind of been proud of myself for handling all of this well. But apparently I haven't been. I just feel awful and I don't want to go back there next week. I'm starting to cry all over again just typing this.
Oh, and he also said that I obviously don't tolerate pain very well because I went in for it hurting and accepted IV pain meds for the breast pain (it feels like someone is sticking hot pokers in them). He seemed unimpressed when I said that I came out of my c-section without pain meds, and just reiterated that I'm not very tough.