Had some tragic news

No problem :p

I don't mind it getting dark early, but I can see why it would bother people, particularly if they have to travel to work in the dark and come home in the dark. Personally I think I like it best when it's dark by about 7pm - I really don't like it when the light evenings stretch out to 10pm and it isn't fully dark until 11pm. For a start, in the UK it's usually chilly in the evenings, even in summer - there's about three actually balmy evenings a year in this country. And secondly, I have south-west facing windows, so I get literally the last of the light through them. And thirdly, even if we had the balmy evenings, I've got no garden to enjoy them in :-/

Good pics!

It is quite rare to see snow in your neck of the woods.

I wondered, are you getting out of the house much..the gym? or other activities.

Hi folks.

It's just gone midnight and I'm not sure where to start. But basically I've been voluntarily sectioned and am in a psychiatric ward in Oxford :-/

It began with an appointment I had with my support worker and the psychiatrist. I got a bit upset and started talking rather wildly. I can't go into it all now, but I definitely mentioned suicide and having nothing left to live for. I'm sorry, I haven't been quite honest with you about how bad I'm still feeling. It's not just a brother I lost; in a sense it's my mum too. I don't understand her, why she acts like this. I always knew my dad was weird but not - until I moved out of home - my mum.

Anyway I'd better go. Had my belongings taken away for hours but got given them back, with a few things removed. But not my phone fortunately. Thank god for mobile data cos there's certainly no WiFi in this place.

Oh yeah, no beds locally, so they had to send me to Oxford by taxi.

Oh Miranda, I am so so sorry for how hard this has been. But I hope you are getting the treatment and care that you need. I am glad that they took you seriously. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Love you!! Please do NOT check out.

NCOT, sending my love and hugs to you- I wish I could be there to offer support but you definitely have all of us here thinking of you and on your side through this.
I think in another post a few months back I was talking about how it always feels like we are attempting to pick up the pieces of our lives before the next incident comes along and shatters it again. You likened it to Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the mountain. I hadn't gotten back to you but it stuck with me and I agree. In this case I hope that this hospital stay can be a break for you where you can get the help you need. I agree with Clo in saying, you are extremely important to us

NCOT, perhaps now that you have gone in-patient, you will get the care you need after being released. Hmm, the surroundings do not sound too bad. Now for the bathroom situation, like you I like my own too, really don't like sharing, lol. Hopefully you will receive your medications timely. Your slippers sound similar to what the nail shops put on people after having a pedicure, styrofoam flip flop things.

Everyone here is thinking about you.

hang in there nice -

at least you got to spend some quality time with your duck buddies before your "incarceration" -

I am so sad to see this. I hope you're getting some help & that you are able to come out with a fresh perspective. I hate the toilet situation too, and I know those late night sounds that are totally "unacceptable". Trust me. I am scared to live in a apartment complex because I worry the neighbors would be awoken. Then at the same time, we have to realize no one else cares, we are just overly self-conscious. I agree with gumby though, can you request the toilet room? Get some rest.

Hi Miranda,
Brave thing to do and wise.
I ' m sure things will improve for you (but you know that already, you've seen many ups and downs you're 42!).
All the best, hope you feel better soon. Dimitri.

Post Edited (Dimitri71) : 12/13/2017 1:43:11 PM (GMT-7)

Hi folks.

Been a long day. Turned out I had wildly underestimated the time of arrival of my meds - no I haven't had them yet. Luckily I'm not prone to antidepressant withdrawal symptoms, otherwise I'd probably be going mental with the brain zaps and refraining from banging my head against a wall. Ironically enough I've had more physical checks in here than I ever did when I was admitted for Crohn's flare ups: I even had an ECG (perfect apparently). Also the doc was concerned about my phosphate being low; I was like, yeah that's just Crohn's weirdness, nobody worries about that. Wasn't expecting anything from it, but later on I was called to the clinic room to take 3 potassium tablets. I googled it; there are lots of possible causes but it seems to be an electrolyte imbalance. I'm not surprised as I know I don't drink enough. I think it has helped with my restless legs a bit, which were really bad last night (another reason I couldn't sleep).

Nobody is allowed to keep a phone charger in their room, which means you have to hand your phone in to the office to do it for you. Urgh, so annoying, as it takes 4-5 hours to fully charge my phone from scratch. On the bright side I read two Roald Dahl stories in that time - Fantastic Mr Fox and Esio Trot. Sadly those were the only two Roald Dahl books there were, so I'll have to find something else for tomorrow.

Food is pretty grim, standard hospital fare. Met most of the other inmates now. It's late and I really really hate writing long posts on a phone, so I'll start wrapping it up now. Haven't seen the consultant psychiatrist yet - hope I see her tomorrow (and get my meds). My one Irl friend has been good and
texting me regularly. @Poppy - I think you've hit the nail on the head. @gumby - nothing will wake my mum up; she's not going to change now.

Thanks to everyone else who posted: I appreciate it a lot. It's 1am and I need to try to sleep now! Goodnight everyone.

That's amazing that you are admitted to an inpatient psychiatric unit and don't have your psych meds!!!
How many patients are there on the unit? I hope there is someone there, either patients or staff that you can connect with, and that the bathroom situation is sorted out.

I also hope you are able to sleep. Maybe you'll be given a decent psychiatrist who actually will be able to help you. I'm glad you are there and safe. I'll keep watching for your posts. Take good care

Guess who can't sleep again? This is miserable!

@gumby - I know, it is ironic.

I think there's 21 bedrooms, so presumably 21. Seems slightly less than that, but there's probably a few I've missed or not seen yet.

@dorri - Given how uncertain everything is it might be better to postpone it until I'm more settled - I don't even know where I'll be tomorrow. Also feel like I wouldn't do much justice to my brother's memory like this.

Short update:

I managed to nab a few hours of sleep. I feel better for it.

Woman just knocked on my door with levothyroxine. I wasn't dumb enough to ask about the 6MP but did ask about the duloxetine. They still don't have it. They also got the levothyroxine dose wrong, despite me telling them several times yesterday I was on 100mcg, not 75, as was written in my notes. Starting to feel seriously annoyed by the med situation. On the other hand this sort of carry on seems to be fairly normal for NHS hospitals.

Dorri - thank you.

Another update:

Took part in a meeting where the patients could express their concerns. After every one was done with moaning about their bits and pieces, I expressed concern over the state of the toilets and showers. I've got Crohn's, if course the toilets are my primary concern. Luckily other people did back me up on their grubby and occasionally disgusting state, so hopefully they will be given a decent clean now.

Half regretting my panic attack last night about being transferred. Maybe the other place would be better or at least not any worse - I don't know. That said, I don't know what the docs have decided to do with me yet.

Anyway this morning has been a bit wearing. There's one particularly loud and aggressive woman, who was particularly bad this morning. And it went on... And on... And on. Funnily enough, she was as good as gold last night. She was interested in my phone and I let her look at it for a while >.>

Had another blood test, as my electrolytes are being monitored - apparently the phosphate was very low. The doc mentioned giving me a vitamin D supplement as well.

It's sunny today and going to see if I'm allowed out in the grounds for a bit. Although they'll have to give me my shoes back for that :-/

Post Edited (NiceCupOfTea) : 12/14/2017 5:41:29 AM (GMT-7)