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Posted 11/6/2007 12:22 PM (GMT 0)
After my diagnosis 14 months before, I felt very depressed at the beggining but then slowly I started to feel better again, and enjoying life again to the fullest.

Yesterday evening, I was sitting alone in the living room, my children and husband were sleeping, and I was listening to a very nice program on the radio.  They were playing beautiful songs from the 80's and 90's, and I was enjoying the music and drinking my hot chocolate.  Suddenly there was this american song, that used to be one of my favourites back in high school.  The song is called "Heaven" by Bryan Adams. My eyes were filled with tears before I realised it.  I couldn't help it, I was crying so much.  It brought back so many memories, from the days I was younger, and most of all I was crying for the healthy life I had and couldn't have anymore...  So I realised...I wasn't feeling better about my condition, I was just trying to ignore it so I could have a normal life again... but my condition will always be a cloud in my life.

Christina

Posted 11/6/2007 12:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hi,oh boy do I remember that song,it was one of my favorites too!!  I wish I had a magic wand to cheer you up,I definately have my blue days too.I have had Chrohns for 8 years now,and with the meds,I have done quite well.  Iv'e had a stricture for a few years now,so I definately go through the "what if" days,but for the most part I feel good. I now take Humira nad when I first started the first series of four shots,I cried all day,because I thought no way was I going to keep doing those darn shots,but now,I take them once every two weeks,and with some great suggestions from some of the guys here,the pain is much less!!  Hang in there!! Try to smile!!

Posted 11/6/2007 1:32 PM (GMT 0)
I know the feeling,,,and the song..The truth is we all lose something every day, a little bit of life slips away. I have my bad days too, but mostly I try to stay in the moment, always aware of times in my life that were much worse, and those to come that will be as bad. Today looks pretty good when I look at it that way. Having been to St. Judes childrens hospital and seen the so very young dealing with cancer and other just as devastating illnesses I feel foolish when I feel sorry for my self, but then there are times when I have to feel foolish. I always find a way to pull myself out of that and back into the real world of dealing with this disease and doing my best to enjoy every moment that I have . Sometimes its small things.A hug from my wife, a birds song, seeing something that nature shows that I have never seen before.
You have an opportunity to see the world through your childrens eyes. Someday you may show them that part of your life. So enjoy that cup of chocolate and that song from the past. We hear you.
Posted 11/6/2007 3:52 PM (GMT 0)
Isn't it amazing how a song can take you right back. I went back home to take care of my mom for about a month a couple years ago, and my old radio station still plays the exact same songs it did when I was a teenager, lol. The entire month was a very melancholy time listening and remembering. My mom rocovered fine, but all the old memories were sometimes hard to take.

It was such an easy time (though we didn't think so at the time) when everything was possible, we were at the top of our game, and we had so much energy, sigh. If I knew then what I know now, would I go back and change it and lead a more serious life, or would I leave it alone and let my youth rule my thoughts and deeds.? I do have some great memories at least, even if now it makes me melancholy.

All we can do is try and make more memories now for our old age (which is approaching much faster for some of us, lol). Sometimes they'll be good memories, sometimes they won't, but all we can do is the best we can.

You're still young, with plenty of time to make more memories despite your diagnosis of CD. And really, you don't believe it, but you'll have your good times and bad.
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