Marriage and CF

Hi,
My husband of 2 years has cf. Luckily, my family has been extremely supportive and love my husband for who he is. We were also much older when we got married (in our early 30's) and we both had solid careers. So I can't offer you much support on what to do about your mother except to seek professional counseling. I think I read in some of your other posts that one of your mom's concerns is about your giving up having a family. When I decided to marry my husband, I did it with the full understanding that we may never have kids. This is an extremely difficult situation for me since I love children, but I couldn't give up my husband for children I may never have had anyways. I recently began seeing a counselor again because I thought I was ok with not having kids and with dealing with my husband's sickness (he recently listed for a transplant), but realized that I wasn't, so I can't encourage you enough to seek professional counseling. Marrying a man with cf is huge, but my husband is the most wonderful person in the world and I couldn't imagine being married to anyone else, but because he has cf life is not always easy - it has many ups and downs, many hospitalization and it is very scary watching him struggle to breathe. I don't mean to scare you, if you are sure this is what is right with you, trust your heart. My oldest sister lost her husband after only a few years of marriage and he was healthy. You can never predict when someone is going to die, but with cf it's a reality you face every day.
I can understand your mom's concern, I couldn't imagine finding someone I loved was in love with someone whose average life expetancy is only 33. My own sister cried when she found out.

Hope this helps - I can't stress enough that you should seek professional help.

ps my husband just walked in and said to tell your fiancee to take care of himself and don't do the stupid thing he did when he was 23!



Kim

Hi Everyone,

Does anyone out there have any info about men with cf being able to have biological children...I know 98% of them are sterile, but I know of some procedures such as MESA (microscopic epididymal sperm aspiration) with in vitro fertilization....if anyone has any info/personal experience with this, i'd appreciate hearing from you...my fiancee (male who has cf) and i want to have biological children...any info would be greatly appreciated..thanks...

Kim

hi everyone
It feels so great to know that there are woman out there who have the same concerns and questions as i do about CF. My boyfriend of two years was born with CF. He talks about marriage and having kids but in the back of my mind i know there is that 98% chance there will be no biological children. He never talks about not being able to have children, or CF all together. I feel he thinks that it will scare me away. I know all about Cf, i prepare all his treatments for him. im at every doctors appointment will him and when he hospitalized im always there. Its very difficult to see the person that you love go through such a painful disease. Ive been wanting to talk to other woman who are with a CF partner. My boyfriend seems like hes in a rush to do things in life, but then at the same time afraid. He never personally told me that he has CF, his family told me. I cant imagine how it can be to tell someone what you have. I scare myself sometimes when i think about the disease, and i cry. I was just wondering how long it took your partners to tell you everything about CF. and if you have any advice for me about how to live with someone with CF

thank you
valerie