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Posted 1/1/2008 2:57 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Flop,

Posted 1/1/2008 3:05 AM (GMT 0)
Hi JOC,
How are you on this new years eve? I hope you are having a wonderful evening. How are you feeling toinght? I am just sitting home like I do every new years. Relaxing.

Luv and hugs
Karen
Posted 1/1/2008 3:07 AM (GMT 0)

Karen,

Hugs and a Happy New Year to you....... JOC 

Posted 1/1/2008 3:08 AM (GMT 0)
Joc,
Is everything okay?
hugs
Karen
Posted 1/1/2008 7:18 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Karen,

I am ok. I went to my Mum's for New Years Eve and it is abit of a drive and this morning there was a snowstorm so we had to navigate the storm home.... Talk about anxiety.

I am feeling kinda tired as I think I ate some stuff that did not agree with me.

Gotta work in the am too.

How was your New Years Eve?

Julie 

Posted 1/1/2008 7:32 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Flop,

I was meaning to write you back, but the computer I was using kept powering off and I was not at home. Happy New Year. I used to live in Ottawa and I really like the city. I enjoyed the canal in the winter. I just got home from a snowy ride and it reminded me of Ottawa.

Music is such a great outlet. I love music. I just got another IPOD so I could download more and I am also going to the Opera in January - well it is January. Do you think you will go back - I am not sure if I asked you - so you are taking a break from school and going back? I would like to further myself eventually - I do have a BA.

I feel exactly as you feel about socializing and I suffer from social anxiety. I cancelled alot of activities this year because of it - I just find it difficult. I used to be a social butterfly in high school and university, but of late I have been a loner and find it hard to make friends and deep connections. I really want to, but then I question my associations as I have been known to make bad ones and I also think that sometimes people are just feeling sorry for me. Maybe we can examine these feelings together. I have recently been responding to some online dating emails and have managed to meet (via email) some nice seeming guys, but I have not met any yet. I really need to trust more that is the biggest issue with me.

I know what you mean about clonanzepam - it is considered to be addictive. I did not take any last night, but one the night before. I have been taking it for situational anxiety since I was nineteen. I have gone for periods without it and can kick the habit when I need to so I know I do not have to worry that much. I do not drive (I have a license) either so I will not suffer from early am grogginess and get into an accident. It takes a few months for the anti depressants to work and so I usually need the clonanzepam (but not every night) and once I have adjusted to the anti depressants then I weane - I go down to half, a quarter and then none. For almost a year I did not have any and did not need any - I was wondering if I would ever feel anxiety again - LOL... I expect that I will be going off them as the Effexor starts to settle, but it has not been a month so I still need them. The gym also helps me so I am going to try and go a couple of nights a week as it stimulates my brain and releases some of those feelings. I know alot of people who rely on addictive prescriptions for migraines, pain and anxiety and they have episodes and times when they feel better and then something happens and they need it again. I guess there is no cure and these things come and go - nothing you can do...

Happy New Year

Write soon and I hope you are well

J    

Posted 1/1/2008 7:35 PM (GMT 0)
Gillian,

Happy New Year - I hope you had a nice new years with your family. How are you feeling? I am tired. If you wanna talk anytime....

JOC

Posted 1/1/2008 9:04 PM (GMT 0)
This thread is getting kind of long, maybe we should start a new one, or do you guys think that we even need to? 

I know how it is with those long drives in the winter.  It is an hours drive to our son's house.  We went on Christmas, luckily the weather was good.  One year we went there for Thanksgiving and it was a bad snowstorm.  It was terribly windy that day and they lived near a large lake.  I was putting out garland and bows for them and I could hardly do it.  Everything was whipping all around.  Then it got dark as we were driving home and it was a total white out.  The snow was heavy and blowing.  We made it but we were white Knuckling it all of the way.

I hope that you all had a happy new year.  You are all always in my thoughts and prayers.

Luv and hugs,

Karen

Posted 1/1/2008 9:21 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Joc,

I can't help wondering if there is something wrong, though I may be way off base. And it may not be any of my business either. But just remember if there is, I am here to listen. You probably are just tired like you say. I am one of those people who always blame myself for everything. So if I said something to make you feel bad, I am sorry. I am sure I am way, way off base here, so forgive my insecurities.

I am worried however, with the internet dating. Is it safe? Do they screne these people or anything? How do you know if the guy would be safe? I don't know anything about it. I guess I am just a worrier, so please be careful, promise me that you will.

I think that you way underestimate yourself JOC. I wish you could see yourself for the wonderful person that you are. I can tell by the way that you write. You are smart too. You are so special and I want you to know that.

I will end here, if I am speaking out of line, just let me know. But remember that I care and will listen, what ever you need. You are probably just needing some rest like you said, and I am probably just worrying.

Hugs

Karen
Posted 1/1/2008 9:26 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Everyone,

Happy New Year to you all!!

I had a quiet one at the bells at my parents house, we were in bed by half 12.

Today we had dinner at my sisters house, another quiet one, my mum has been really sick today some kind of bug so we just had dinner together and we all went home, hopefully she will feel better tomorrow.

I hope you all had a lovely day today, take care, Gillian x
Posted 1/1/2008 9:37 PM (GMT 0)
Julie,

I too have joined an online dating site and did meet up with one man, it was during the day and it was just for a hour or so, i was very nervous but i did it. I only met him once and kept in touch through txts but i kind of distanced myself from him for a while now. I still think it's too soon to be jumping into anything especially when ive got the boys to look after.
Posted 1/1/2008 9:38 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Gillian,

I hope that you mother feels better soon. It seems like this time of year everybody starts to get sick. I think we all tend to over do it. Maybe it runs our immune system down. Our son has been feeling under the weather, getting a lot of headaches. The kids always seem to get sick too this time of year. How are your son's doing?

This first day of the new year sure went by fast. It is kind of gloomy out so it seems like it is getting dark early today. The days are suppose to start getting longer. That shoul help us all a little bit.

Hugs,

Karen
Posted 1/1/2008 9:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Karen,

I just phoned my mum and she is not bad but is in bed, i think everyone does get like this by the time new year comes, probably all the food and drink we eat!! Anyway i'm sure she'll be fine, thanks for asking.

The boys are good they have had a ball this past week, with no routine about going to bed, i am glad that's it all over, i love christmas but i like when it all gets back to normal.

We are due a cold spell over the next few days with a good covering of snow, so we will see how it goes.

It's 21:45 here just now and i'm pretty tired, everytime i go to sign off i see a new post either here or on the Ostomy forum and i can't help having a look, lol. Well i really should sign off now but hey i could be back on again, lol, Gillian x
Posted 1/1/2008 10:19 PM (GMT 0)
I hope that you have a nice restful night.
Hugs
Karen
Posted 1/2/2008 2:14 AM (GMT 0)

JOC - No, I'm just on christmas vacation. School starts again next week. Getting a little worried about it because my depression has worsened over the break. The whole school experience has been a bit of a challenge because I'm in my first year, but at 26 I'm a mature student, so I'm older than most of the other first years....older than a lot of the grad students too! But I like the classes I'm taking, and sometimes being a bit older can be an advantage. I tried an online dating site a few years ago, but didn't like it. I only met one or two people in person and in the end decided that it just wasn't a good thing for me. BE CAREFUL if you decide to meet someone offline, and be prepared for them to look a whole lot different than their pictures!

I like to socialize, but it feels like over the past year friends have drifted away, which is why I've said that I don't have a lot of good friends. I know that people change and move on and lives take people to know places.....I supposed I feel as if I'm not doing a lot of moving forward....sometimes it feels like I'm running just to stand still.

New Years was quiet. My friend did come over, and we made dinner then just stayed up and talked and listened to music. I haven't really spoken to him much recently, so it ws actually very nice to talk to him. Whether he just came over because he felt sorry for me or not - I was still glad of the company. I have felt extremely alone for the past few months, and talking seemed to help.

Hope everyone else had a good new years eve, and welcome to 2008! May it be healthy and positive for everyone!

-Flop

Posted 1/8/2008 11:48 PM (GMT 0)

Well Hello Everyone - Flop, Gillian, Getting BY

I have not had internet since January 2 as I upgraded my service and the problem has been resolved tonight.. My what anxiety I have had...

How is eveybody? I am ok

JOC

Posted 1/8/2008 11:51 PM (GMT 0)

Flop,

How are you feeling? Today I felt depressed - this is the first whole week back and I am not used to working so much... Really don't want to go on more Effexor - but I will if I have to. I have not taken any clonanzepam for a week or so - I just wanted you to know...

JOC 

Posted 1/8/2008 11:53 PM (GMT 0)

Karen,

Have you started any new threads - please let me know? Well I know what you mean about online dating - it is like that with online anything - I am going to always be careful> i find it hard to meet people and work is not the place... It is so hard when you are out of school in the real world... Any suggestions?

Well if everyone has moved on - Iwish them well..

JOC

Posted 1/9/2008 12:32 AM (GMT 0)

Hi JOC,

That's great that you've been able to get by without taking clonazepam. But remember that if you feel you need it it's okay to take it-it's not a bad thing. School started yesterday, and it was okay, but then trying to relax and sleep last night was difficult. I started to feel very bad and didn't end up falling asleep until sometime around 5 am. Then my alarm went off at 6:30. So with the lack of sleep today has been a little tougher. I cried on the bus on the way home, which was embarassing because crying on public transit is not good, but I couldn't help it. I was trying to wait until I got back to the house but biting my lip wasn't having any effect anymore, and it just happened. Tomorrow I go to see a counselor, and the process of talking and referrals (if needed) starts again. I'm very much afraid that I'm going to be extremely nervous and that as soon as I sit down I'm going to cry. In front of this stranger. This happens whenever I go in for therapy or counselling-at first all that comes out are tears.

But I have to do something because I feel like I am growing more and more unsure and unsteady, and I feel like I'm withdrawing and becoming very detached from the world. I have lost all interest in things I used to enjoy, and I'm not even sure if I'm going to be able to continue with school if something doesn't change. I just don't care about it anymore, because I feel like I'm running to stand still, and I'm tired. It's like I'm living in a dream world where I can't even trust the way I feel about things because I'm not sure if what I'm feeling is something real, or just the depression. It's making it extremely hard to make any decisions. I hope, I hope, I hope that tomorrow will be the beginning of getting things on track. It's been a long time since I felt truly hopeful and purposeful. It's been a long time since I've been able to laugh.

Posted 1/9/2008 12:32 AM (GMT 0)
Oh, if anyone feels we should start a new thread, that's fine too.
Posted 1/10/2008 2:16 AM (GMT 0)
Dear Flop,

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so blue... It was how I was feeling before Xmas. I kept crying and coming home to bed - I did not feel like eating. I am glad that you are going to see someone as I think it will be good for you to talk. I wish I could talk to someone, but I feel too frustrated - they usually just pull out the pad and write up a prescription. I am not really that impressed with having to take drugs and people are trying to get me to take mood stabilizers - I find that I sometimes get deliberately agitated so that I will take more drugs. I am not interested in taking any more than the anti depressant and I hope to be off them one day soon. I think that I am not the only one with the problem at all - life is hard. I took some clonanzepam last night to sleep - but had not needed any for a week. I just wanted you to know that you can use it occasionally without concern because I do and have for many years. I like that it relaxes me and helps me sleep. I am not going on more drugs....

I know how you feel about waking up so early and crying on the bus - it is so hard sometimes. That is the worst time of the day for me. It is abit easier with the effexor, but so darn hard. I find it hard as my job is really tiring and demanding, plus there is quite abit of politics at times and I get un nerved about it. Sometimes it is really good and I have a great day - the money and perks are pretty good and I try to be positive - I really do.

I hope you had a good day. Does it make you feel better to know that you are not alone? I think it made me feel better and I was really upset when I could not access the internet.

Best of Luck and write anytime - I am back up - although not running that smoothly yet.

JOC
Posted 1/10/2008 4:28 AM (GMT 0)

Hi you guys,

I have been wondering where you were Joc.  I am glad to see you are back.  I hope that you are feeling well.

Floppington, I didn't realize that you were so blue.  I am sorry.  I know things are hard, this time of the year especially.  Things have slowed down and the excitement of the holidays is over.  It is hard.  But I know that you are going to be just fine.  You help so many people on this forum and it is time for us to help you back.  So listen to me young lady, you are going to feel better, and I say so.

No seriously, Just take it one day at a time.  I know that you are tired, and need rest.  It sounds like you have some things on your mind and I know you will feel better after you see your counselor.

Please let us know how you are doing.

And Joc, you sound good, I am happy for you, and I am still here.  Don't think I will ever leave.  Not until mushroom hunting time in the spring.  I will have to tell you all about looking for morels.

Hugs to all,

Karen

Posted 1/10/2008 10:20 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Everyone,

Glad to hear from you Joc, how are you today? Where is it you live again? I'm from Scotland.

Hi Flop, i hope you are somewhat better today, it's terrible when you feel like this. Me and Karen (Gettinby) were on the chat the other day, not for long though, you both should try it sometime,

Well i'll go now, maybe be back later ,

Gillian x
Posted 1/10/2008 4:08 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Getting by,

Well I am not feeling that great today. I had a bad day yesterday and barely slept last night. It comes and goes.... Mushroom hunting - what do u do with them? I was not able to connect to the internet for 6 days and I am also not getting a fast connection even though I am finally up and running.... Tell us more

JOC

Gillian,

I love in Canada - Scotland is a nice place....

JOC 

Posted 1/11/2008 1:58 AM (GMT 0)

We eat thee morel mushrooms.  Mushroom hunting is a big thing here in the spring.  There are mushroom festivals all over the place.  There are hunting contests.  We keep our spots a secret and find a lot.  We eat a few, they are very rich.  Then we give some away.  Sometimes dry them and give them later.  Most people sell them if they have extra. 

We saute them in butter with onions.  You can batter them and fry them too.  They are good both ways.  Hunting for ;them is the most fun, they are hard to see.  Last year my eyes were bad, I had a lot of problems seeing them.  I have new glasses now so I hope I can see them better this year.  It is a lot of fun especially if you like being in the woods.  It is good exercise too.

Hope you all have a great evening.

hugs,

Karen

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