Need a hand!

Hi, everyone!
Once a well behaved boy now becomes a dangerous dragon. It's what I call myself now. I'm from China and it takes much longer to explain my situation. I stay at home now to deal with depression till I am capable to return to my college. My first two years' performance in university, which is a top 3 here, is brilliant. Amazingly my GPA rockets to 4.7 which is 92 out of 100. In addition I took part in math model competitions and did well. It seems whenever I talk about my past, the audience would either think me a over-boasted person who still lives in the past, or all my focus at school is ranking and marks. I just don't know how to start and where to go. Yesterday an impulse arose and I hit my mother violently. This was not the first time I could not control my emotion. I was numb even I knew I did wrong. How would I turn to this merciless person? I could see anti-depression drugs' effects, but sometimes my emotion changes turbulently. Maybe I was happy all the day, but after some stimulus my temper goes out of control. Hatred and love mixed together in my mind about my ex gf. She abandoned me after I got depression. But I also believe misunderstandings exist between us. So easily I can slip from an extreme to another. I am also worried about the GRE test in June. GRE is necessary cos I want to further my education in foreign countries.
Now I am only waiting the drugs to pull me out. I don't think my cognition have many troubles. What kind of cognitive therapy do I need? Which is more important, drugs or the later? I conceive depression as a physical disease but it afflict you through your thinking and mood. DO you agree?
I tried to learn guitar, GO and play basketball now.

Post Edited (asyouknow) : 1/24/2008 3:09:27 AM (GMT-7)

I agree with Shy, what you did to your mom was not right.  And if you can't control your impulses you should walk away or  leave the house.  You can't go on like this.  You can have cognitive therapy and take medications too.  But I would recommend some anger management.

I hope you feel better soon.

hugs,

Karen

Hi Asyouknow

You really need to get yourself back into a doctor,and talk about what is going on.

We will be here for you as much as we can.

I agree with the others on this one. I think professional help is called for here and I would do it sooner rather than later.

Darren

Asyouknow, you realised that hitting your mother was the wrong thing to do and you felt remorse after doing so ,you also asked about which you needed medication or cognative therapy i think these two should both done together along with increased sessions with either a psychologist of psycharitist until you can control your outbursts .I know from experience that it is very hard to stay on the right path but it is a whole lot easier if you do it with someone else helping you .You mentioned that your girlfriend left when your depression surfaced well in a way thats good as she is not the right one for you she does not understand what you are going through .
I hope you can achieve what you are aiming for and that your road ahead is a lot easier